Note:Today post contains emotional elements.
After having some dispute with my self, I finally made up my mind to fetch yamyam at INTAN.Even though I was so irate at him but I just can't let my baby keep waiting in the rain and he was probably worn out from a long journey as of Sg.Petani.
I didn't talk to him on our way back. I dun even look at his face. I just dun feel like it. He was very very worried. Serve u right, Mr. He keep provocating me to talk and try to be sweet but to me I just feel..disgust..
Never in my life have people treated me like that. Even when I was chubby and hostile my ex still acknowledges me as his girlfriend whenever people ask. And now when I was totally brush up, he simply treat me like a piece of shit. I never dub him with bad names before (except for bodoh..heh..he called me that name too) because I really respect my boyfriend. But yesterday I dunno what had gotten into me. I started screaming and go calling him bad-bad names. Sorry, I know I went out of the line. I'm so sorry but I'm not guilty to say..u deserve it.And..Even though I promised my self not to get violent with my bf like I used to do with my ex..I broke that promise. I hope I didn't hurt u a lot but if it did..Padan Muke!
Think about it. When he was not around I tried to be as nice as I could be. I dun go out with other guy that I think would hurt his feeling except once (he already approved it). I was alone on my birthday. If I want to, I can called up my ex and both of us can spent an intimate time together. I can do that, yamyam was not around, nobody would find out..but did I do it?NOOOOO..I did not..
Anyway I forgave him last night since I missed him so much even though his excuses was so
LAME
LAME
LAME
"I was just trying to make her feel guilty"
THAT WAS LAME..but
I guess I just missed him and wanted to hug him.
I always find sleeping would make all my worries go away but today I feel worst. After getting up I feel like a total idiot. How can I easily gave in last night??I never allow people to mistreat me..not even my bf..
I swear he's going to taste his own medicine..soon..
P.S:Might not be writing for sometime after this..My final is coming up..
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
My boyfriend's back!arghhhh
What is the date today, people???Today is 25th February..meaning..my boyfriend is going to be in town, soon..i'll be fetching him at 6.00.Yeyeyeyeyee..
I washed my hair with that special conditioner which I rarely use so my hair would give the impression of being extra shiny (I know it's stupid but who care) . Clear up my room a bit so he would say
"sayang dah kemas bilik:..and would hug me(I love this part)
Not that I'm lethargic or anything ok, but biasela..bile dah balik malam-malam tak sempat nak kemas..bangun tengahari2 and have to rush to somewhere else. In another word. I'm going to make u really please, baby!!
I haven't got time to analyze my situation..Ehe..Now that I'm 24 I think I should put more perspective in life. Let me figure this thing out..
How fat are you now:41 kg
How tall are u:150 (frusfurating )
How many times have u ever been in love: err. Lost count
How many times u were heart broken: once and it still bleed until this very day.
Have u ever consume anything harzadous:Ermm..yes but I swear I won't do it again.
Which one do u prefer, clubbing or sleeping: Both
What are things u enjoy doing:Cooking, spending my time with yamyam and family,getting wasted(sorry).
When are you thinking to settle down: This year
With who: My current boyfriend.
If u are to choose between him and ur family, what would it be:My family, ofcourse.
What are your regrets in life:
1.Not studying that hard in school.
2. for taking my love ones for granted
What do you love most about yourself:
1.My brain
2. that I'm no more shallow
3. I have all the people who love me so much.
4. My look, my body and my confidence
What does u hate about yourself: my bad mouth
What are the things that u wish u could have but u couldn't:
1.tatooes
2.Puppies
What are the most suprising things that people told u:
1.That i'm less intelligent
2.That i'm a rough player (hey, i'm so lemah-lembut)
Finally what would u accomplished b4 u turn 25: Get pregnant.hahahahahahahaha
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update:
I'm so bored so i went on surfing and had a naughty idea on my mind.To check my bf's e-mail.So,being so naughty i went and read his e-mail..I was in shock and in tears..
He was replying an email from his friend who is also his ex's close friend(this is my assumption) .It read like this
> >bile nak bergirlfrend baru?<---- hmmmm, bab ni gua gagal la beb. tgkla camne kalau ada rejeki, ada le.
Gagal?Habis aku ni ape??What am i to him?Why should him pretend like i'm invisible.Is he afraid that his ex might know that he's taken?
He even ask about her ex..About her b'day blabla..and when i bbrought up the topic he simply said
"I tak ingat pon"
I think he still see her in my face.Bastard!
I washed my hair with that special conditioner which I rarely use so my hair would give the impression of being extra shiny (I know it's stupid but who care) . Clear up my room a bit so he would say
"sayang dah kemas bilik:..and would hug me(I love this part)
Not that I'm lethargic or anything ok, but biasela..bile dah balik malam-malam tak sempat nak kemas..bangun tengahari2 and have to rush to somewhere else. In another word. I'm going to make u really please, baby!!
I haven't got time to analyze my situation..Ehe..Now that I'm 24 I think I should put more perspective in life. Let me figure this thing out..
How fat are you now:41 kg
How tall are u:150 (frusfurating )
How many times have u ever been in love: err. Lost count
How many times u were heart broken: once and it still bleed until this very day.
Have u ever consume anything harzadous:Ermm..yes but I swear I won't do it again.
Which one do u prefer, clubbing or sleeping: Both
What are things u enjoy doing:Cooking, spending my time with yamyam and family,getting wasted(sorry).
When are you thinking to settle down: This year
With who: My current boyfriend.
If u are to choose between him and ur family, what would it be:My family, ofcourse.
What are your regrets in life:
1.Not studying that hard in school.
2. for taking my love ones for granted
What do you love most about yourself:
1.My brain
2. that I'm no more shallow
3. I have all the people who love me so much.
4. My look, my body and my confidence
What does u hate about yourself: my bad mouth
What are the things that u wish u could have but u couldn't:
1.tatooes
2.Puppies
What are the most suprising things that people told u:
1.That i'm less intelligent
2.That i'm a rough player (hey, i'm so lemah-lembut)
Finally what would u accomplished b4 u turn 25: Get pregnant.hahahahahahahaha
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update:
I'm so bored so i went on surfing and had a naughty idea on my mind.To check my bf's e-mail.So,being so naughty i went and read his e-mail..I was in shock and in tears..
He was replying an email from his friend who is also his ex's close friend(this is my assumption) .It read like this
> >bile nak bergirlfrend baru?<---- hmmmm, bab ni gua gagal la beb. tgkla camne kalau ada rejeki, ada le.
Gagal?Habis aku ni ape??What am i to him?Why should him pretend like i'm invisible.Is he afraid that his ex might know that he's taken?
He even ask about her ex..About her b'day blabla..and when i bbrought up the topic he simply said
"I tak ingat pon"
I think he still see her in my face.Bastard!
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Shallowness
My friends and I enrolled the 3R futsal challenge last Saturday. We didn't won but we did have fun..Atleast we did make it to the second round. To me, my teammates are all superb especially my goalie. She did a very good job saving our team from being kicked badly on the ass..hehe. She is a big size girl but she can really kick butt. She used to be the captain of our hockey team. I think she is just superb!!
On our last game, (where we were defeated :P) I only played during the first half..After that I got 'pancit' so I went out and was substituted with my other friend. As I was sipping my drink, I over heard a voice from at the rear of my back. That time, my goalie friend was stooping down after she successfully saved a ball.
"Uh, keeper tu tak payah pakai knee pad dah.Dia dah ada banyak 'pad' kat badan dia"
Hearing that, I turned back and give him a glower.
"Kurang ajar eh?". I didn't know why I said that but I think he deserved it. Lucky for him that I didn't give him a thud on his head. . After that, he moved away from my sight and keeps his fucking mouth locked .
I hate shallow people. I just hate them. I hate people who judge other people based on their appearance. It's just unfair.
When I was still in my teen years (sob sob).I used to be chubby. Way more chubbier than I weight now and I was ugly.. That time I felt so low, like life doesn't mean that much to me. I hate everything that revolved around me.I hate my family, I hate my friends and I hate my self. Why? Because people used to take me for granted..just because of my look. It's hard to make people listen to me that time. How do u feel when u fancy a person but he didn't even know that u are alive? How do u feel when they mocked at they way u dress just because u don't look good like the rest of them? It hurt..a lot.. So after I finished my SPM, I transformed my self to someone new..and wallah..here I am today..Totally happy with my self.
What I'm saying is..i understand how those people feel. It's not like they don't try to improve themselves but sometimes other things come along the way. They are just like us, human with feelings. Just because they look larger or whatever it is, they deserve to be treated like shit. It shouldn't be that way. To those people with shallow thought, i think they should be slay.
My mum is plump and I love her very much.Everytime I hear rudeness towards overweight people I feel like they are insulting my mum. When that happens..U know how bitchy I can be.
updated:Went to the lab after having a lunch with a friend, then i saw yamyam's ex again.I think she knew me coz she can't get her eyes of me..Yahh..baby..now u must regret letting THAT guy away..all i can say is..HE'S MINE!!
On our last game, (where we were defeated :P) I only played during the first half..After that I got 'pancit' so I went out and was substituted with my other friend. As I was sipping my drink, I over heard a voice from at the rear of my back. That time, my goalie friend was stooping down after she successfully saved a ball.
"Uh, keeper tu tak payah pakai knee pad dah.Dia dah ada banyak 'pad' kat badan dia"
Hearing that, I turned back and give him a glower.
"Kurang ajar eh?". I didn't know why I said that but I think he deserved it. Lucky for him that I didn't give him a thud on his head. . After that, he moved away from my sight and keeps his fucking mouth locked .
I hate shallow people. I just hate them. I hate people who judge other people based on their appearance. It's just unfair.
When I was still in my teen years (sob sob).I used to be chubby. Way more chubbier than I weight now and I was ugly.. That time I felt so low, like life doesn't mean that much to me. I hate everything that revolved around me.I hate my family, I hate my friends and I hate my self. Why? Because people used to take me for granted..just because of my look. It's hard to make people listen to me that time. How do u feel when u fancy a person but he didn't even know that u are alive? How do u feel when they mocked at they way u dress just because u don't look good like the rest of them? It hurt..a lot.. So after I finished my SPM, I transformed my self to someone new..and wallah..here I am today..Totally happy with my self.
What I'm saying is..i understand how those people feel. It's not like they don't try to improve themselves but sometimes other things come along the way. They are just like us, human with feelings. Just because they look larger or whatever it is, they deserve to be treated like shit. It shouldn't be that way. To those people with shallow thought, i think they should be slay.
My mum is plump and I love her very much.Everytime I hear rudeness towards overweight people I feel like they are insulting my mum. When that happens..U know how bitchy I can be.
updated:Went to the lab after having a lunch with a friend, then i saw yamyam's ex again.I think she knew me coz she can't get her eyes of me..Yahh..baby..now u must regret letting THAT guy away..all i can say is..HE'S MINE!!
Monday, February 23, 2004
Cheerish the Love we have
Punto died on Saturday night. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore.I wasn't there by his side when he died beacuse i just can't bear anymore death. i didn't even attend his burial ceremony.Perhaps it's true that some people beleive, ignorant is a bliss. not that i dun care about my cat it's just that..maybe i just dun want to care anymore..The truth is i just dun want to get hurt anymore..To punto.it doesn't mean i dun love u baby.U know u mean a lot to me..I'm gonna miss u so much!
Today, i feel much better.For the first time in my life, i took an interest to know all my cousins better. before this we would only shake hands just because it's our culture and perhaps some smiles and casual talks. But for past few days, i spoke, eat and hang out with them.I used to ignore my cousins who are younger than me coz i think ahh..i got better things to do and they might think like wise but i was wrong..I guess my uncle death, brought us together(sound corny).And how wrong all my perceptions are!!I even took the chance to hold Kimi who is only 1 1/2 year older.I NEVER HAVE ANY INTEREST TOWARDS BABIES BEFORE. I just dun like baby because ..maybe i just dunno how to treat them and well..i was known for being a tempremental person. To my amazement, it was such an incredible feeling to hold a baby..and he likes me..alot.. :)..
"uhh...Kak Nina pegang baby..seme org tengokk!!" That was what my other cousins said to everyone
"Hoh,bagusla tu..when r u gonna have ur own..perhaps this year?" That was my aunty..duh!!
The lesson i learn was..
Never ever take your family and your love ones (including pets) for granted.Cherish them coz u will never know how much u'll miss them when they are gone.
+love me when i'm gone+
Today, i feel much better.For the first time in my life, i took an interest to know all my cousins better. before this we would only shake hands just because it's our culture and perhaps some smiles and casual talks. But for past few days, i spoke, eat and hang out with them.I used to ignore my cousins who are younger than me coz i think ahh..i got better things to do and they might think like wise but i was wrong..I guess my uncle death, brought us together(sound corny).And how wrong all my perceptions are!!I even took the chance to hold Kimi who is only 1 1/2 year older.I NEVER HAVE ANY INTEREST TOWARDS BABIES BEFORE. I just dun like baby because ..maybe i just dunno how to treat them and well..i was known for being a tempremental person. To my amazement, it was such an incredible feeling to hold a baby..and he likes me..alot.. :)..
"uhh...Kak Nina pegang baby..seme org tengokk!!" That was what my other cousins said to everyone
"Hoh,bagusla tu..when r u gonna have ur own..perhaps this year?" That was my aunty..duh!!
The lesson i learn was..
Never ever take your family and your love ones (including pets) for granted.Cherish them coz u will never know how much u'll miss them when they are gone.
+love me when i'm gone+
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Another year older
"A year older
A year wiser"
That what was written in a card that yamyam gave me erlier before he left.He enclosed my birthday present along with the sweet card. I was supposed to open it today,instead i enjoyed my present 5 days earlier.How can u have the patience to wait when u have your present under your bed? Not that i dun love the watch bracelet he gave me but i rather prefer if he's here with me.Baby, i miss u so very fucking much!!
I'm having the worst b'day ever..I miss my bf.My uncle just died and now my cat is dying..
I'm supposed to be having a party tonight at asmosphere but i guess it just not gonna happen. To tina and my other friends,thanks for singing me a birthday song and for buying me a cake.I love guys alot.even we didn't won the 3R futsal challange, u guys still rawks!!
Humm...for once in my life i wish that i was not born in February..
A year wiser"
That what was written in a card that yamyam gave me erlier before he left.He enclosed my birthday present along with the sweet card. I was supposed to open it today,instead i enjoyed my present 5 days earlier.How can u have the patience to wait when u have your present under your bed? Not that i dun love the watch bracelet he gave me but i rather prefer if he's here with me.Baby, i miss u so very fucking much!!
I'm having the worst b'day ever..I miss my bf.My uncle just died and now my cat is dying..
I'm supposed to be having a party tonight at asmosphere but i guess it just not gonna happen. To tina and my other friends,thanks for singing me a birthday song and for buying me a cake.I love guys alot.even we didn't won the 3R futsal challange, u guys still rawks!!
Humm...for once in my life i wish that i was not born in February..
Friday, February 20, 2004
Until here..
My uncle passed away peacefully on Wednesday night, i was on my way to watch school of rock. He left behind a wife and 5 sons. To my cousins,ijam, a'ai, aikal,didit and kimi.Be strong kay, we'll always be here for you. *hugs*
Our bond was quite close.When I was a kid.he used to teased me about a mole which I have between my upper lip and my nose.
"Nina,U know, i think your mole will get bigger and bigger along with your age.Nanti lama-lama dia jadi besar satu muka awak."
"Huh, pakcik tipuuu" i would answer with my watery eyes.
"Betuuul, buat apa nak tipu awak.Nanti kalau orang tanya,Sharina mana?Ala...Sharina yang taik lalat besar satu muka tuuu..." He just loved teasing me.Teasing all his nephews and nieces..And now..it's gone..just like that..
Until here..I'm gonna miss you, pakcik!
+God bless+
Our bond was quite close.When I was a kid.he used to teased me about a mole which I have between my upper lip and my nose.
"Nina,U know, i think your mole will get bigger and bigger along with your age.Nanti lama-lama dia jadi besar satu muka awak."
"Huh, pakcik tipuuu" i would answer with my watery eyes.
"Betuuul, buat apa nak tipu awak.Nanti kalau orang tanya,Sharina mana?Ala...Sharina yang taik lalat besar satu muka tuuu..." He just loved teasing me.Teasing all his nephews and nieces..And now..it's gone..just like that..
Until here..I'm gonna miss you, pakcik!
+God bless+
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Too lost in you
Last night friends came over and we had a bong night together. I was intended to do my tutorials but ehe..i just lost interest. I vaguely remember the details all I can figure out was we had eaten half of the food in the kitchen.Oh My..We must be damn hungry!!
Can't seem te get rid of thing song.It's being playing in my head all the time.
Too Lost In You
You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try
I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in
And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)
Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)
Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
Might be watching a movie later..
Can't seem te get rid of thing song.It's being playing in my head all the time.
Too Lost In You
You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try
I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in
And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)
Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)
Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby
Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)
Might be watching a movie later..
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
The memoirs of IRC
I used to be an IRC addict back in the 90's and it extended till early 2000 but now I'd prefer sleeping rather than going nutty talking to outsiders.
Back then people who swore on IRC are way too diverse from those (or should I say posers) who still dig it. I developed few virtual friends who notwithstanding remain as friends and at this point turn to be real-life friends. Sometimes we would hang out together and talk about I dunno..almost everything! To Spentot and Fahmi, yes.. u guys are just superb!
Now..If u log on to IRC all u get are craps and more craps. Indisputably you will stumble upon these questions
"Dah ade bf/gf?"---> if u reply yes, they'll bid u farewell.
"Boleh kasik no. telefon"----->dumbass
"Boleh kita jumpa?"
Ahh..I really despise the third questions since I had a appalling experience going through with it. That time I was 18 (only 18, so u guys have to forgive me) and was having crisis with my boyfriend. In view of the fact that I was an IRC addict, I met a guy online who I thought was really cool. He wanted to meet me since we both live in Shah Alam.What the heck..Let just give it a try, I thought. So on a set date, I gain all my guts and went to see him. No, he is not ugly. He looks fine with a great body. We chitchat and eat..I thought..phew..This is not bad at all..But, as usual, I was mistaken. Before he left he said something to me that make me changed my mind.
He:I'm so happy that u see me as the way I am.Not like other people who treat me well
just because I am an actor.
Me:Err..u are an actor? What movie? (He seemed so unfamiliar.I swear).
He: Oh, I berlakon drama pendekar!!
Pendekar??Huh?? Obviously I didn't watch that sort of drama. The terrible thing was he keeps talking about his actor thingy as if he's a big shot or something and even mentioned to drag me along to the set.Oh noo.. Thanks but no thanks..It didn't end there.
He would call me as early as dawn every morning and talked craps. Talked about sexual thingy and I was like... What's wrong with u?? Do I look like a horny biatch?? Sometimes I just passed the phones to my friends and they would play along..Hehehe..
Finally, when I couldn't take it any longer, I just changed my number and shoved him aside.
And now, the new phenomenon is friendster.I love friendster but when friendster folks want to meet me personally I would say
"U wouldn't want to meet me. I'm so ugly and i bite"
and they went quiet after that.
p.s:found this on the internet while surfing..
oh,sod off!
+missing you already+
Back then people who swore on IRC are way too diverse from those (or should I say posers) who still dig it. I developed few virtual friends who notwithstanding remain as friends and at this point turn to be real-life friends. Sometimes we would hang out together and talk about I dunno..almost everything! To Spentot and Fahmi, yes.. u guys are just superb!
Now..If u log on to IRC all u get are craps and more craps. Indisputably you will stumble upon these questions
"Dah ade bf/gf?"---> if u reply yes, they'll bid u farewell.
"Boleh kasik no. telefon"----->dumbass
"Boleh kita jumpa?"
Ahh..I really despise the third questions since I had a appalling experience going through with it. That time I was 18 (only 18, so u guys have to forgive me) and was having crisis with my boyfriend. In view of the fact that I was an IRC addict, I met a guy online who I thought was really cool. He wanted to meet me since we both live in Shah Alam.What the heck..Let just give it a try, I thought. So on a set date, I gain all my guts and went to see him. No, he is not ugly. He looks fine with a great body. We chitchat and eat..I thought..phew..This is not bad at all..But, as usual, I was mistaken. Before he left he said something to me that make me changed my mind.
He:I'm so happy that u see me as the way I am.Not like other people who treat me well
just because I am an actor.
Me:Err..u are an actor? What movie? (He seemed so unfamiliar.I swear).
He: Oh, I berlakon drama pendekar!!
Pendekar??Huh?? Obviously I didn't watch that sort of drama. The terrible thing was he keeps talking about his actor thingy as if he's a big shot or something and even mentioned to drag me along to the set.Oh noo.. Thanks but no thanks..It didn't end there.
He would call me as early as dawn every morning and talked craps. Talked about sexual thingy and I was like... What's wrong with u?? Do I look like a horny biatch?? Sometimes I just passed the phones to my friends and they would play along..Hehehe..
Finally, when I couldn't take it any longer, I just changed my number and shoved him aside.
And now, the new phenomenon is friendster.I love friendster but when friendster folks want to meet me personally I would say
"U wouldn't want to meet me. I'm so ugly and i bite"
and they went quiet after that.
p.s:found this on the internet while surfing..
|
||
oh,sod off!
+missing you already+
Monday, February 16, 2004
Fasten your seat belt.
Yamyam left this morning.Yeahh Harris, you are right, I shouldn't be that wretched. It's not like I dun have a life aside from him. I do! Imagine every single fun-fun stuff I can do whenever he's not around.Uh..I'm excited already!!
"U jangan nakal-nakal tau.Jgn buat benda-benda yang I tak suka", That was his last word before he left this morning be tied in with a big hug. How did he manage to read my mind??
Ahahahaha ..u wish!!* evil laugh * (remind me to delete this in 10 days time)
Let's party people!!!
"U jangan nakal-nakal tau.Jgn buat benda-benda yang I tak suka", That was his last word before he left this morning be tied in with a big hug. How did he manage to read my mind??
Ahahahaha ..u wish!!* evil laugh * (remind me to delete this in 10 days time)
Let's party people!!!
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Misery loving Company
I woke up at the wrong side of the bed.Get pissed off with yamyam and head straight back to Shah Alam. I need my mummy and my catz.
When I reached home ,mom was weeping so I asked her what's bothering her and she said
"Ur uncle is critical. We read Yassin for him last night."
I just didn't knew what say. I offered my self to accompany her to meet someone, which I was told who might can help but my mom said it's ok. She'll be going with dad instead. Actually i didn't want to go at the first place, i was just trying to be nice.Shock??Let me explain the reasons..I am a crybaby. If I go, I will surely cry and it would make things worst. It's impossible not to cry seeing my cousins looking at their father not knowing will they still be seeing him tomorrow. It is sad looking at my mum crying over her beloved brother, thinking what went wrong that he need to suffer like this. I dun think can face that picture..I dun have the guts.. All I can do is pray for him.
I guess one misery is scanty. My cat, Punto is not doing well either. Earlier this week, we brought him to the vet due to his uncanny acting. He became unusually quiet which leaving my mum and me in curiosity. Dr. Shida then told us that he suffered from un wanted stones in his bledder.His urine was full with blood. Laugh if u want to but I dun feel anything funny to laugh about. We then leaved him at the vet and today he's back, not much improved even RM 900 was burnt along the way as the result for his medication bills. He refused to eat and keep urinating almost all the time. Her fluffy coat now looks really dull and dirty. The worst part?. My fat punto is now turning into a scrawny cat. I tried to feed him canned food using a syringe, he tried his best to swallow them, maybe because he didn't want to see me ended weeping. I really want to see him get better. I would trade my social life (clubbing and such) just to see him in his hilarious pose again. I want to cuddle him on my bed and make him go mad by squeezing too hard, until he couldn't take it anymore and scratch me..I love u, darling!Get well soon, will ya?
and..yamyam is going away tomorrow..i wish he wouldn't..urghhhhh
God, please have mercy on me. Please dun take two precious soul in my life..I really need them both..badly.
When I reached home ,mom was weeping so I asked her what's bothering her and she said
"Ur uncle is critical. We read Yassin for him last night."
I just didn't knew what say. I offered my self to accompany her to meet someone, which I was told who might can help but my mom said it's ok. She'll be going with dad instead. Actually i didn't want to go at the first place, i was just trying to be nice.Shock??Let me explain the reasons..I am a crybaby. If I go, I will surely cry and it would make things worst. It's impossible not to cry seeing my cousins looking at their father not knowing will they still be seeing him tomorrow. It is sad looking at my mum crying over her beloved brother, thinking what went wrong that he need to suffer like this. I dun think can face that picture..I dun have the guts.. All I can do is pray for him.
I guess one misery is scanty. My cat, Punto is not doing well either. Earlier this week, we brought him to the vet due to his uncanny acting. He became unusually quiet which leaving my mum and me in curiosity. Dr. Shida then told us that he suffered from un wanted stones in his bledder.His urine was full with blood. Laugh if u want to but I dun feel anything funny to laugh about. We then leaved him at the vet and today he's back, not much improved even RM 900 was burnt along the way as the result for his medication bills. He refused to eat and keep urinating almost all the time. Her fluffy coat now looks really dull and dirty. The worst part?. My fat punto is now turning into a scrawny cat. I tried to feed him canned food using a syringe, he tried his best to swallow them, maybe because he didn't want to see me ended weeping. I really want to see him get better. I would trade my social life (clubbing and such) just to see him in his hilarious pose again. I want to cuddle him on my bed and make him go mad by squeezing too hard, until he couldn't take it anymore and scratch me..I love u, darling!Get well soon, will ya?
and..yamyam is going away tomorrow..i wish he wouldn't..urghhhhh
God, please have mercy on me. Please dun take two precious soul in my life..I really need them both..badly.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Selamat Hari Itik!!
Valentine's Day stumbles again. Happy Valentine's day to each and every one of u out there. To my baby, Selamat Hari Itik(he refused to use the word Valentine). Did u get something from that special someone? Ehehehe..
This is the 7th year I celebrate the V day but this year is the first year celebrating with my new guy. I wish I could spend the whole day with him. It doesn't matter how and where, as long as I'm with him. But since hes going away this becoming Monday and thanks to his last minute preparation, he has to be somewhere else doing something else. Luckily I let him get away with it since he already made me happy by making me smell good, just like Esther Canadas.*wink*wink*
Later this evening we would be cooking for some friends. More like to "main masak-masak". Yamyam and I will be cooking fettuccini carbonara since he fancies that cuisine so much and others will prepare whatever they desire. Weird way to celebrate Valentine's isn't it? Then, the next agenda is..futsal!!! I got two sessions to attend tonight. The first one is at unlimited with my bf's buddies which I still have not make my mind up whether I shall participate or not, it depends on the counting of how many people will turn up. The next session is with my schoolmate sisters..at sport's barn.Phew..It's going to be a tiring day!!
It's funny. Back then I used to loathe sport to the max. Every weekend 'riadah' will be held where we have to run (I forgot how many miles) despite it was dark and cold. My friends and I will try to find good excuses not to go or the last resort; find the best place to hide. I even skipped my sports house's practice even though the block secretary is my bedmate..(sorry, fadzi). I even made my doctor to give me a letter of excuse from participating in sports activity. How bad is that?? Not that I can't do well in sports, it's just that.. I'm too slothful to do anything. Or maybe I'm too mulish to follow anything that I'm told to abide to.Aha..that's more like it.. Rules sucksss!!heheh
And now if I don't get a session of futsal in a week, my body will start to feel..twinging?? If my PE teacher, Cik Ramlah read this, she,ll be very proud of me. All her yelling and barking, after all ..worthwhile .. :)
This is the 7th year I celebrate the V day but this year is the first year celebrating with my new guy. I wish I could spend the whole day with him. It doesn't matter how and where, as long as I'm with him. But since hes going away this becoming Monday and thanks to his last minute preparation, he has to be somewhere else doing something else. Luckily I let him get away with it since he already made me happy by making me smell good, just like Esther Canadas.*wink*wink*
Later this evening we would be cooking for some friends. More like to "main masak-masak". Yamyam and I will be cooking fettuccini carbonara since he fancies that cuisine so much and others will prepare whatever they desire. Weird way to celebrate Valentine's isn't it? Then, the next agenda is..futsal!!! I got two sessions to attend tonight. The first one is at unlimited with my bf's buddies which I still have not make my mind up whether I shall participate or not, it depends on the counting of how many people will turn up. The next session is with my schoolmate sisters..at sport's barn.Phew..It's going to be a tiring day!!
It's funny. Back then I used to loathe sport to the max. Every weekend 'riadah' will be held where we have to run (I forgot how many miles) despite it was dark and cold. My friends and I will try to find good excuses not to go or the last resort; find the best place to hide. I even skipped my sports house's practice even though the block secretary is my bedmate..(sorry, fadzi). I even made my doctor to give me a letter of excuse from participating in sports activity. How bad is that?? Not that I can't do well in sports, it's just that.. I'm too slothful to do anything. Or maybe I'm too mulish to follow anything that I'm told to abide to.Aha..that's more like it.. Rules sucksss!!heheh
And now if I don't get a session of futsal in a week, my body will start to feel..twinging?? If my PE teacher, Cik Ramlah read this, she,ll be very proud of me. All her yelling and barking, after all ..worthwhile .. :)
Friday, February 13, 2004
On being a woman
Had a futsal session yesterday. Ended up with a blister on the claves and a cut on my lips.Oh yeah, my face are bloated too, tina unintentionally kicked the ball right to my face, but no biggie, sports injuries are common. If u dun want to get injured, dun play sport at the first place. Somehow I must say, it's kind of painful still I didn't spill any tears which are so opposite my nature..hehe..Thinking about it, none of my friend did even sometimes we really suffered from bad injuries. There were even times when my friend ended in a hospital with a fractured skull after she tripped while trying to get a ball. Women nowadays are not as soft as they used to be.
"I pity u women, u guys have to put on two underwears instead of one. Women also acquire two travel bags while I happily carry one travel bag. It must feel very bad to be a woman."
That's what my bf once said to me and I think he's wrong this time. I love being a woman. No darling, it's not a burden for us to wear two underwear. If I could change my gender for a day, I won't do it. It's not that I'm saying being a woman is better than being a man. No, dun get me wrong. Every gender has their own pros and cons and naturally they need each other. It's just that being a woman is so wonderful. If we feel ugly there's always Revlon, clinique and God knows what lying for us. And if we are having a bad day, there a like hundred shoes store we can splurge our money to and walla.. We will feel better in no time. Think about the entire gorgeous outfit we get to wear. Halter neck, tube, tank top, u just name it, we can wear it. Plus we really look super duper cute in pastel colors whether it's pink or purple.
There will be "the ladies night" in every clubs around the world. Even if it's not ladies night, we still dun have to spend a cent just to boogie. And. there's always someone to buy u a drink or maybe drinks. :). One more thing on beinga a woman is, we have the strong persuading power. I bet many of u men out there find it's kinda hard to resist to grant ur partner wish even u really dun feel like doing it.Let me quote one of my bf fav saying
"If it's not beacuse of your great great great grandma, hawa..adam wouldn't eat the forbidden fruit and i would be running happily in heaven right now..naked"..ahahaha
If u are by now, married (yes teq, I'm talking to u..haha) u can experience the magical moment of pregnancy. Despite the morning sickness and feeling crappy for no reason, that process will still be some kind of magical. And of course, your baby first word will always be "mama".
Of course being a woman also provides us with downsides, we always get sexual harassed. Raping and groping but hey, there are always self defense and pepper spray.
Yesterday, on my way to sport's planet I felt really moody. I was so damn hungry, the traffic was bad and my bf keep talking about something which unsuccessfully registered into my head. Obviously it's not a good time for chatting, so it was silence what he got from me.
He:What's wrong,darling.Are u mad at me or something?
Me:No,I'm just having PMS.
He:*sigh*.It must be good being a woman.U can blame everything on PMS..
Me: *Look another direction and smile*
Yeah baby, it's really good to be a woman!!
"I pity u women, u guys have to put on two underwears instead of one. Women also acquire two travel bags while I happily carry one travel bag. It must feel very bad to be a woman."
That's what my bf once said to me and I think he's wrong this time. I love being a woman. No darling, it's not a burden for us to wear two underwear. If I could change my gender for a day, I won't do it. It's not that I'm saying being a woman is better than being a man. No, dun get me wrong. Every gender has their own pros and cons and naturally they need each other. It's just that being a woman is so wonderful. If we feel ugly there's always Revlon, clinique and God knows what lying for us. And if we are having a bad day, there a like hundred shoes store we can splurge our money to and walla.. We will feel better in no time. Think about the entire gorgeous outfit we get to wear. Halter neck, tube, tank top, u just name it, we can wear it. Plus we really look super duper cute in pastel colors whether it's pink or purple.
There will be "the ladies night" in every clubs around the world. Even if it's not ladies night, we still dun have to spend a cent just to boogie. And. there's always someone to buy u a drink or maybe drinks. :). One more thing on beinga a woman is, we have the strong persuading power. I bet many of u men out there find it's kinda hard to resist to grant ur partner wish even u really dun feel like doing it.Let me quote one of my bf fav saying
"If it's not beacuse of your great great great grandma, hawa..adam wouldn't eat the forbidden fruit and i would be running happily in heaven right now..naked"..ahahaha
If u are by now, married (yes teq, I'm talking to u..haha) u can experience the magical moment of pregnancy. Despite the morning sickness and feeling crappy for no reason, that process will still be some kind of magical. And of course, your baby first word will always be "mama".
Of course being a woman also provides us with downsides, we always get sexual harassed. Raping and groping but hey, there are always self defense and pepper spray.
Yesterday, on my way to sport's planet I felt really moody. I was so damn hungry, the traffic was bad and my bf keep talking about something which unsuccessfully registered into my head. Obviously it's not a good time for chatting, so it was silence what he got from me.
He:What's wrong,darling.Are u mad at me or something?
Me:No,I'm just having PMS.
He:*sigh*.It must be good being a woman.U can blame everything on PMS..
Me: *Look another direction and smile*
Yeah baby, it's really good to be a woman!!
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Case of the Ex
I saw my yamyam's ex yesterday evening after finishing a session of prolog's lab. I felt certain urge for all the sudden to bash her head off with the file I'm carrying, only to found out that I carelessly left my file in the lab. As I came out again from the lab, she was no where to be seen.Demmit..
No, she didn't bother my bf, not even trying to get him back. It's just that her existence in my bf life really bug me a lot even though they didn't see each other any longer. Sometimes while dining out with friends, unintentionally someone will uttered her name and that's enough to drive me on my madness, crazy-crazy madness. It's miffed to know that a guy who u love in all probability would say the same things which make you melt to another girl who luckily gets her hand on him before you finally did. And it's hurt to think the guy that u hug every day was also being hug by some other girl and I can't help my from thinking whether he did enjoyed her hugs as much as he enjoys mine. I know it's pathetic, but I just can't help it. If it's not because of my big ego (and his long hair :P), I would had retorted to his woos and we will probobly get hooked up happily three years back. Now I have to face the fact that my bf, once did love another girl other than me. The bad bit is, I think he still does even he firmly denies it.
At times when we chat, he would foolishly mirrors some answers that portray he was thinking of that girl in his head and I can't help my self from nipping him or maybe punching him one or two or maybe more :P. Occasionally while he's taking a nap after a swim, he would start talking in his sleep, talking about things that make me want to slaughter him. Jealousy is definitely not my nature. Ask everyone who know me, they probably will said I'm the most un-jealous girlfriend in hillpark (he he). I won't mind if my guy wants to take a new view by going out with other chic, no problem but just let me know. With this girl, it's poles apart. All I can do now is just trust my guy and hoping I won't go crazy loosing my mind if I happen to see her again.. I put in the picture to my bf that I loathed his ex and needless to say he shared a mutual feeling about mine ;).
Watched Gothika yesterday, the movie was kind of cool but I must say, it kinda make me scared to go for a dip at night again..Uhh
Tonight..another futsal session awaits..but it won't be the same without nikkit :(
+I could tell it wuz your ex by your tone+
No, she didn't bother my bf, not even trying to get him back. It's just that her existence in my bf life really bug me a lot even though they didn't see each other any longer. Sometimes while dining out with friends, unintentionally someone will uttered her name and that's enough to drive me on my madness, crazy-crazy madness. It's miffed to know that a guy who u love in all probability would say the same things which make you melt to another girl who luckily gets her hand on him before you finally did. And it's hurt to think the guy that u hug every day was also being hug by some other girl and I can't help my from thinking whether he did enjoyed her hugs as much as he enjoys mine. I know it's pathetic, but I just can't help it. If it's not because of my big ego (and his long hair :P), I would had retorted to his woos and we will probobly get hooked up happily three years back. Now I have to face the fact that my bf, once did love another girl other than me. The bad bit is, I think he still does even he firmly denies it.
At times when we chat, he would foolishly mirrors some answers that portray he was thinking of that girl in his head and I can't help my self from nipping him or maybe punching him one or two or maybe more :P. Occasionally while he's taking a nap after a swim, he would start talking in his sleep, talking about things that make me want to slaughter him. Jealousy is definitely not my nature. Ask everyone who know me, they probably will said I'm the most un-jealous girlfriend in hillpark (he he). I won't mind if my guy wants to take a new view by going out with other chic, no problem but just let me know. With this girl, it's poles apart. All I can do now is just trust my guy and hoping I won't go crazy loosing my mind if I happen to see her again.. I put in the picture to my bf that I loathed his ex and needless to say he shared a mutual feeling about mine ;).
Watched Gothika yesterday, the movie was kind of cool but I must say, it kinda make me scared to go for a dip at night again..Uhh
Tonight..another futsal session awaits..but it won't be the same without nikkit :(
+I could tell it wuz your ex by your tone+
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Rhyme my humming bird.
Can't sleep last night. Somehow this rhyme in my head.
He doesn't has to make her happy
She knows how to lighten her unhappy days
He doesn't has to comfort her tears
She doesn't has any to waste anyway
He doesn't has to call her from today
She won't bother to pick up her phone, by the way
So just go tonite, leave her alone
Just shut her door close
Dun even look back
Coz she knows
He won't even be around
Not even if she beg him to stay.
Woke up in the early hours this morning with more peaceful mind. I did have a wonderful sleep. Feel completely rejuvenated! People always state sleep can give rise to betterness if u were having a bad time, which I totally agree.
Went to class but somehow I found out later the class is finally completed. No more class for this semester. Ehe..how did I not realize that? Maybe I can start digging my head under those scary-scary books. I said..maybe..
I like polite people. Who don't? To me, asian are bursting with community who believe 'courtesy is the best policy' compared to other region. In Malaysia, majority of the citizen are polite except few idiots who thinks their shit don't stink. This minority parts really should learn something. Some might say, Malaysian are rude but compared to other ethnic, I dun think this statement is true. Like last night, while watching American Idol on TV, they expression of the failures really surprised me. How could they swore saying bad -bad words when they actually sucks? Some even sucks big time. Aha..one contestant even splashed a glass of water to the judge. By,the way I think the judges went out of line too. That Simon was so annoying. Do u think these will happen here??Ehe..I dun think so. Paling best pon, orang Malaysian hanya akan nangis..and berasa " kenapa aku gatal nak pegi audition ni?"hehe..
I once line up for my turn to use a public restroom in KLCC. Typically that place was crammed with human beings, so it took a lot of my patience until I get my turn to use the toilet. When it was nearly my turn, an Arabian lady abruptly emerged from no where and pushed me aside so she could used the toilet even though she could see there's a lot of people queuing and of course me, who was waiting tolerantly. I was so heated coz I can't hold 'it' any longer but did I or anybody in the restroom made offensive remarks to the lady after she successly did her business? No, we didn't. She's a tourist anyway and back at her place, courtesy is most likely not included as one of their culture (that's what my mum told me).
What would u do if u are in my shoes?
+I will survive+
He doesn't has to make her happy
She knows how to lighten her unhappy days
He doesn't has to comfort her tears
She doesn't has any to waste anyway
He doesn't has to call her from today
She won't bother to pick up her phone, by the way
So just go tonite, leave her alone
Just shut her door close
Dun even look back
Coz she knows
He won't even be around
Not even if she beg him to stay.
Woke up in the early hours this morning with more peaceful mind. I did have a wonderful sleep. Feel completely rejuvenated! People always state sleep can give rise to betterness if u were having a bad time, which I totally agree.
Went to class but somehow I found out later the class is finally completed. No more class for this semester. Ehe..how did I not realize that? Maybe I can start digging my head under those scary-scary books. I said..maybe..
I like polite people. Who don't? To me, asian are bursting with community who believe 'courtesy is the best policy' compared to other region. In Malaysia, majority of the citizen are polite except few idiots who thinks their shit don't stink. This minority parts really should learn something. Some might say, Malaysian are rude but compared to other ethnic, I dun think this statement is true. Like last night, while watching American Idol on TV, they expression of the failures really surprised me. How could they swore saying bad -bad words when they actually sucks? Some even sucks big time. Aha..one contestant even splashed a glass of water to the judge. By,the way I think the judges went out of line too. That Simon was so annoying. Do u think these will happen here??Ehe..I dun think so. Paling best pon, orang Malaysian hanya akan nangis..and berasa " kenapa aku gatal nak pegi audition ni?"hehe..
I once line up for my turn to use a public restroom in KLCC. Typically that place was crammed with human beings, so it took a lot of my patience until I get my turn to use the toilet. When it was nearly my turn, an Arabian lady abruptly emerged from no where and pushed me aside so she could used the toilet even though she could see there's a lot of people queuing and of course me, who was waiting tolerantly. I was so heated coz I can't hold 'it' any longer but did I or anybody in the restroom made offensive remarks to the lady after she successly did her business? No, we didn't. She's a tourist anyway and back at her place, courtesy is most likely not included as one of their culture (that's what my mum told me).
What would u do if u are in my shoes?
+I will survive+
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
P.D.A
Did my shopping yesterday after browsing for about few hours. i dun no whether he'll like or not but, what the heck..dah beli dah pon. :P
My bf hardly ever reads my blog since he was so bz with his works and projects plus he couldn't care less about this interest of mine but yesterday for some indefinite reason he visited this site. The impact? He kept soliciting me about all the items I bought earlier that day at midvelli...hahah..Chess..it's kinda spoilt the fun.
Have u ever stroll in the mall and set eyes on couples in P.D.A?Public Display Affection. Holding hands, cuddling and smooching are deliberate as public affection. I dun mind minor P.D.A such as holding hands and maybe some soft cuddle but smooching and groping is a major no-no. It's not that i'm that virtuous but i found it kinda revolting. C'mon..u want more. get a room please...
At certain time, I did my part in P.D.A too but I dun think it ever did make anyone abruptly feel like puking. I used to be very 'cold' with my partner, my ex-partner I mean. I will talk with my 'I-dun-care' tone of voice, would cringe (and show it) if he said something corny and lot's more atrocious things. I deliberately did that for the reason that I felt too proud to show to people that I care.Ok..i know..I used to be conceited (and some still think I am). Back then, my friends thought that I'm such a vile people who mistreat my significant other but behind their back, it's the other way around. One guy even told him to ditched me off and I used to hate him (the fact that I still do. he's an MCP..not my fault) but now I dun blame him for saying such undiscerning things about me.
Now that I'm a new relationship, I make an effort to elude my ego as much as I could. From my judgment men and women are comparable in the sense of feeling. Even we always perceive that men are tougher than women on the contrary they are moderately a softie inside. They like presents and compliments just the way women do. I would hold his hand, talk to him nicely and make he feel that he's being love by someone. Surprisingly, I feel better too. If u used not to show little bit of affection to that special someone, why don't u give it a little try, not only u will please your partner but u will feel better too. Anyway, there's nothing wrong to lose an ego for that someone u love..aight??
My bf hardly ever reads my blog since he was so bz with his works and projects plus he couldn't care less about this interest of mine but yesterday for some indefinite reason he visited this site. The impact? He kept soliciting me about all the items I bought earlier that day at midvelli...hahah..Chess..it's kinda spoilt the fun.
Have u ever stroll in the mall and set eyes on couples in P.D.A?Public Display Affection. Holding hands, cuddling and smooching are deliberate as public affection. I dun mind minor P.D.A such as holding hands and maybe some soft cuddle but smooching and groping is a major no-no. It's not that i'm that virtuous but i found it kinda revolting. C'mon..u want more. get a room please...
At certain time, I did my part in P.D.A too but I dun think it ever did make anyone abruptly feel like puking. I used to be very 'cold' with my partner, my ex-partner I mean. I will talk with my 'I-dun-care' tone of voice, would cringe (and show it) if he said something corny and lot's more atrocious things. I deliberately did that for the reason that I felt too proud to show to people that I care.Ok..i know..I used to be conceited (and some still think I am). Back then, my friends thought that I'm such a vile people who mistreat my significant other but behind their back, it's the other way around. One guy even told him to ditched me off and I used to hate him (the fact that I still do. he's an MCP..not my fault) but now I dun blame him for saying such undiscerning things about me.
Now that I'm a new relationship, I make an effort to elude my ego as much as I could. From my judgment men and women are comparable in the sense of feeling. Even we always perceive that men are tougher than women on the contrary they are moderately a softie inside. They like presents and compliments just the way women do. I would hold his hand, talk to him nicely and make he feel that he's being love by someone. Surprisingly, I feel better too. If u used not to show little bit of affection to that special someone, why don't u give it a little try, not only u will please your partner but u will feel better too. Anyway, there's nothing wrong to lose an ego for that someone u love..aight??
Monday, February 09, 2004
Get bz
I'm at the lab now..I missed my 9.00 a.m class coz i kinda woke up late.Mlm tadi melepak2 kat rumah c-pet untill 11 and head to uptown since i was soo teringin nak makan tomyam at one stall..Then lepaking with chiko at ol' town till 2 a.m..When head back home, was being forced to consume my medication and felt totally sleepy after that.
Ahh..the cute boy from phase 1 is sitting behind me.He's soo cute but sadly taken.Practically listening to his 'rave' music.He's a raver and i used to be one.I have a crush on him once but then it just went away when i found out his my ex's housemate.I used to go clubbing with him since he's a housemate with my ex.His other housemates are full of totally cute guys which i usually hang out with.Lunching together, dinner,watching tv and tahaper-haper lagi.Girls at my faculty always say this to me
"Waa..bestnye jadik kau..nak tuka tempat"
ehe..if it's not because of my ex, i too won't have a chance to be that close to them..
Might be doing my valentine's shopping today since the day is drawing near.I still dun have any idea what to buy so perhaps i can go rounding untill i made up my mind what to buy for my hunnybear.He's going away next week, so i shall hog him for myself ..mineeeee aloneeee..*evil grin*..
Uh, back on valentine's.Some people might say
"Buat apa nak sambut hari valentine..Kafir"
ahha..i dun care..i'm not celebrating because of religion thingy even i know u can celebrate ur love everyday..tapi c'mon..let make it special for one day..like what an article say even if we change 'valentine' name to something else such as ayam, itik or kambing..people will still be celebrating it..It's the day of love..Not necessarily meant for couples but also for families and friends.Some people make money that day..just imagine a rose will cost u like rm 10 per flower..uhhh...( hint:syg..i tanak bunga :D)
My bf never celebrate valentine's,not that he never got attached before but he dun like the idea..but now when he's hooked up with me..i wonder what makes he change his mind..
p.s:alamak..19 days to final..*nervous*
Ahh..the cute boy from phase 1 is sitting behind me.He's soo cute but sadly taken.Practically listening to his 'rave' music.He's a raver and i used to be one.I have a crush on him once but then it just went away when i found out his my ex's housemate.I used to go clubbing with him since he's a housemate with my ex.His other housemates are full of totally cute guys which i usually hang out with.Lunching together, dinner,watching tv and tahaper-haper lagi.Girls at my faculty always say this to me
"Waa..bestnye jadik kau..nak tuka tempat"
ehe..if it's not because of my ex, i too won't have a chance to be that close to them..
Might be doing my valentine's shopping today since the day is drawing near.I still dun have any idea what to buy so perhaps i can go rounding untill i made up my mind what to buy for my hunnybear.He's going away next week, so i shall hog him for myself ..mineeeee aloneeee..*evil grin*..
Uh, back on valentine's.Some people might say
"Buat apa nak sambut hari valentine..Kafir"
ahha..i dun care..i'm not celebrating because of religion thingy even i know u can celebrate ur love everyday..tapi c'mon..let make it special for one day..like what an article say even if we change 'valentine' name to something else such as ayam, itik or kambing..people will still be celebrating it..It's the day of love..Not necessarily meant for couples but also for families and friends.Some people make money that day..just imagine a rose will cost u like rm 10 per flower..uhhh...( hint:syg..i tanak bunga :D)
My bf never celebrate valentine's,not that he never got attached before but he dun like the idea..but now when he's hooked up with me..i wonder what makes he change his mind..
p.s:alamak..19 days to final..*nervous*
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Crushed by a crush
Watched a documentary about David Beckham(yeah antusemut..u can laugh now :D) with mum.Ehe i have to say i'm among all the people who sort of adored him, even though i didn't care much about football.I like him b'coz he seemed to be a loving husband and a loving father.And the fact that he's kind to every body.The most thing i like about him is his features who really remind me of my first crush..My biggest crush.
I met him when i was in standart 3, he live in my neighbourhood and our house are just nearby.He is cute and gifted with a good look.Gorgeous.That time we used to play at the playground every evening.From combat2 to masak2..hehehe..he is sooo entertaining.He was also the main reason why i begged my mum to send me to sekolah agama and i told my mum to put me in the same class as he was.On my first day there, he taught to catch a grasshopper and eat it alive..hehehe..and after that we'll be doing our athelete practise togeteher..we became very close and i started to like him.. a lot!!I never told him because..i dunno..maybe it was because i'm not pretty and not interesting.He used to and STILL like pretty-pretty girls with 'ayu' attitude which are so not me.
When i started my secondary days, we dun speak to each other that much since i had to moved away far from home but still ..my liking for him never fade.I usually will have crush for people not more than 7 days.Even worst if my crush start to notice me and asked for my number or things like that i would turn them down and my interest towards them will dissapear just like that..Weird huh?But it's different with this guy..We didn't see each other that much, just few times at parties where my friends place who are also happen to be his friends but we dun talk.Not a word.maybe just few smiles exchanged.Sometimes he would appeared at my doorstep since he's a close friend to my bro.And amazingla i felt akward in my own house whever he's around.There are times when i just sit on the stairs afraid to come down even i was so thirsty just beacuse i dun want him to see me in my tutty-frutti shorts.ahaha..I realized then, i became numb whenever i saw him..i can't speak,i feel like melting..sound so corny rite??My close friends at school knew that i really adored this guy since i named my walkman after his name.
The last time i saw him was few months ago in hartamas square..I was with yamyam and his friends talking shits as usual..then only i realised he was sitting next to our table when he stood up to leave that place.He did give me an eye before he left.I felt like dissepearing that time..There goes my chance since he saw me with my bf..hahahaha..mcmla ada can pon..oh well,he's taken now like old time..he's always taken..but according to my bro he's now attached to some datuk's daughter..hum..
do u still remember your first crush??
+it's just alittle crush+
I met him when i was in standart 3, he live in my neighbourhood and our house are just nearby.He is cute and gifted with a good look.Gorgeous.That time we used to play at the playground every evening.From combat2 to masak2..hehehe..he is sooo entertaining.He was also the main reason why i begged my mum to send me to sekolah agama and i told my mum to put me in the same class as he was.On my first day there, he taught to catch a grasshopper and eat it alive..hehehe..and after that we'll be doing our athelete practise togeteher..we became very close and i started to like him.. a lot!!I never told him because..i dunno..maybe it was because i'm not pretty and not interesting.He used to and STILL like pretty-pretty girls with 'ayu' attitude which are so not me.
When i started my secondary days, we dun speak to each other that much since i had to moved away far from home but still ..my liking for him never fade.I usually will have crush for people not more than 7 days.Even worst if my crush start to notice me and asked for my number or things like that i would turn them down and my interest towards them will dissapear just like that..Weird huh?But it's different with this guy..We didn't see each other that much, just few times at parties where my friends place who are also happen to be his friends but we dun talk.Not a word.maybe just few smiles exchanged.Sometimes he would appeared at my doorstep since he's a close friend to my bro.And amazingla i felt akward in my own house whever he's around.There are times when i just sit on the stairs afraid to come down even i was so thirsty just beacuse i dun want him to see me in my tutty-frutti shorts.ahaha..I realized then, i became numb whenever i saw him..i can't speak,i feel like melting..sound so corny rite??My close friends at school knew that i really adored this guy since i named my walkman after his name.
The last time i saw him was few months ago in hartamas square..I was with yamyam and his friends talking shits as usual..then only i realised he was sitting next to our table when he stood up to leave that place.He did give me an eye before he left.I felt like dissepearing that time..There goes my chance since he saw me with my bf..hahahaha..mcmla ada can pon..oh well,he's taken now like old time..he's always taken..but according to my bro he's now attached to some datuk's daughter..hum..
do u still remember your first crush??
+it's just alittle crush+
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Mystique or myth??
Lat night had dinner with yamyamand my parents.Glad things are doing well between them.I dun want my parents to hate my bf or the other way around since i love them all. :)
Mom told me that my uncle zahir who suffered from cancer was send home by the hospital because..he has no more chance to survive..The dr only give him about 6 months..and it might be sooner than that.I was made believe that he has cancer.that was what mom told me but on our journey back from picking up dad,i know she twisted the story..just because it was something that a logical mind can't accept.
my uncle was cursed with some spell who send it to him by someone who particularly dislike him.Kene buat org.The dr said despite the swollen and tumor looking thingy on his shoulder,he didn't see any cancer cell nor tumor during the x-ray.My uncle was healthy and there's nuthing wrong with him.So,our family decide it's time to take old way medication,berubat cara kampung.I had been brought up in a modern family where these such things never exist.My family used to teached us that everything happens are related to science and it can be cured and proven..and beleive in God,dun go beleiving in some kind of other spirit.But actually..i sort-of beleive that kind of things coz of my encounter of few spirits during my days in boarding school.Yes..call me psycho or anything u want but it did happen..
why must people do such things to people.Just because of some people get lucky and have a wealthy life and u don't,u can go around doing-i-dunno-what and make his life a living hell??Where's ur civilisation??Weird..i'm sad of what happen to my uncle..pity him..what will happen to his wife and 6 children if he didn't make it soon?Will that 'person' be happy??Oh,yes..i bet he will be happy and be lot happier to get burn in hell..
nikkit is going to Australia today to pursue her master at 7.00 pm.I wish i could join the rest to bid her farewell but my health condition won't allow me..ahh..another friend that i shall miss..all the best to you nikkit!!God bless u!
Mom told me that my uncle zahir who suffered from cancer was send home by the hospital because..he has no more chance to survive..The dr only give him about 6 months..and it might be sooner than that.I was made believe that he has cancer.that was what mom told me but on our journey back from picking up dad,i know she twisted the story..just because it was something that a logical mind can't accept.
my uncle was cursed with some spell who send it to him by someone who particularly dislike him.Kene buat org.The dr said despite the swollen and tumor looking thingy on his shoulder,he didn't see any cancer cell nor tumor during the x-ray.My uncle was healthy and there's nuthing wrong with him.So,our family decide it's time to take old way medication,berubat cara kampung.I had been brought up in a modern family where these such things never exist.My family used to teached us that everything happens are related to science and it can be cured and proven..and beleive in God,dun go beleiving in some kind of other spirit.But actually..i sort-of beleive that kind of things coz of my encounter of few spirits during my days in boarding school.Yes..call me psycho or anything u want but it did happen..
why must people do such things to people.Just because of some people get lucky and have a wealthy life and u don't,u can go around doing-i-dunno-what and make his life a living hell??Where's ur civilisation??Weird..i'm sad of what happen to my uncle..pity him..what will happen to his wife and 6 children if he didn't make it soon?Will that 'person' be happy??Oh,yes..i bet he will be happy and be lot happier to get burn in hell..
nikkit is going to Australia today to pursue her master at 7.00 pm.I wish i could join the rest to bid her farewell but my health condition won't allow me..ahh..another friend that i shall miss..all the best to you nikkit!!God bless u!
Friday, February 06, 2004
Makannn
Feeling better,slightly better and i'm thankful for that..except my body are still shaking..
last night i didn't kick anyball,tak larat ah..but still manage to gobble nikkit's farewell cake..Chocolate and cheese..uhh..i like!!!Humm,i guess we (STFian) really like to eat alot.Makan,makan makan..like there's no other agenda..after futsal, makan..after clubbing,makan..huh..
back then in school we did used to eat alot.I was FAT that time due to eating nasi kawah.Mind u,my school cooking were superb nothing like ugly food u've been imagining about.Even though when were in form 5,we still run to the dining hall..hahaha..during 'escape' time,the main point is to get back to dorm and eat all our juniors food..hahaha..juniors are usually packed with foods,yelah..mak bekalkan :P.
One of our favourite activity at night is raiding the dining hall.I dunno why but we will always feel hungry in the middle of the night.Thinking to 'fly' or lompat pagar but since my school is isolated so the idea seemed inappropriate.So the best solution is to raid the dining hall.Since i'm petite i'm the one who will creep through the broken window and then open the locked door from inside the kitchen.But the the obstacles getting to that stage is huge..there will be wild dogs and wild wardens..hehe.But once u get through..it means..heaven..we usually take watermelons,ice-creams,eggs,bread and whatever left. The style of cooking the eggs is so unique but now i think it's gross.Cracked the egg and place it on a bread and iron it with an IRON.yummy,tasty...Feel like puking?Think about how many polluted eggs i had consume..
Raiding the dining hall is like a ritual if my stomach is begging to be fed with something.One hungry night which i think was 1996, a few weeks after my juniors,the form 3 students finished their pmr my bedmate fadzi told me she's damn hungry and suggested that we should go and find some good food which i promptly agreed.So of we go.When we are already in the kitchen there's absolutely nuthing to be confiscate.nothing!!Then only fadzi saw two polysterine cases placed on the shelf.We opened it and..it's daging dendeng masak black pepper,one of the drooled food back then.After sniffing to make sure it's still good we just couldn't beleive our luck and get back to dorm,practically gloating to everyone how lucky we were.The next morning during the breakfast,my HEM(she's scary), who seemed so angry yelled on the microphone
"Siapa yang telah mengambil 50 bungkus nasi lauk daging dalam dining hall??Itu makanan untuk budak-budak form 3 nak pegi trip kamu tau tak?"
50??We took only two because there's only two left.Fadzi looked at me as i looked at her back..Man..and we thought we were the lucky one..Rupenye2 ade 48 ekor penyangak yg dah sampai dulu..humm..
+those were the days+
last night i didn't kick anyball,tak larat ah..but still manage to gobble nikkit's farewell cake..Chocolate and cheese..uhh..i like!!!Humm,i guess we (STFian) really like to eat alot.Makan,makan makan..like there's no other agenda..after futsal, makan..after clubbing,makan..huh..
back then in school we did used to eat alot.I was FAT that time due to eating nasi kawah.Mind u,my school cooking were superb nothing like ugly food u've been imagining about.Even though when were in form 5,we still run to the dining hall..hahaha..during 'escape' time,the main point is to get back to dorm and eat all our juniors food..hahaha..juniors are usually packed with foods,yelah..mak bekalkan :P.
One of our favourite activity at night is raiding the dining hall.I dunno why but we will always feel hungry in the middle of the night.Thinking to 'fly' or lompat pagar but since my school is isolated so the idea seemed inappropriate.So the best solution is to raid the dining hall.Since i'm petite i'm the one who will creep through the broken window and then open the locked door from inside the kitchen.But the the obstacles getting to that stage is huge..there will be wild dogs and wild wardens..hehe.But once u get through..it means..heaven..we usually take watermelons,ice-creams,eggs,bread and whatever left. The style of cooking the eggs is so unique but now i think it's gross.Cracked the egg and place it on a bread and iron it with an IRON.yummy,tasty...Feel like puking?Think about how many polluted eggs i had consume..
Raiding the dining hall is like a ritual if my stomach is begging to be fed with something.One hungry night which i think was 1996, a few weeks after my juniors,the form 3 students finished their pmr my bedmate fadzi told me she's damn hungry and suggested that we should go and find some good food which i promptly agreed.So of we go.When we are already in the kitchen there's absolutely nuthing to be confiscate.nothing!!Then only fadzi saw two polysterine cases placed on the shelf.We opened it and..it's daging dendeng masak black pepper,one of the drooled food back then.After sniffing to make sure it's still good we just couldn't beleive our luck and get back to dorm,practically gloating to everyone how lucky we were.The next morning during the breakfast,my HEM(she's scary), who seemed so angry yelled on the microphone
"Siapa yang telah mengambil 50 bungkus nasi lauk daging dalam dining hall??Itu makanan untuk budak-budak form 3 nak pegi trip kamu tau tak?"
50??We took only two because there's only two left.Fadzi looked at me as i looked at her back..Man..and we thought we were the lucky one..Rupenye2 ade 48 ekor penyangak yg dah sampai dulu..humm..
+those were the days+
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Shitty
i'm feeling shitty..like real shit..my chest won't stop wheezing and i feel like it's going to shrink soon..plus i'm all covered with tamarind juice.From head to toe.Not only me but my bedsheet,my pillow and my poor,poor snowy.Yamyam said it will reduce the tempreture..even it makes my hair look like shit..had an uncomfy night,was hot and try to get some space but fail to do so since my bf overslept beside me and forget that his dad is waiting for him at home because he was too worn out looking after me.Poor baby,sorry to trouble u.
this morning he dragged me to clinic eventhough i look like shit,especially my hair which stand all the way along..arghhhhh...how could i let ppl see me like that?what a crime..
the dr gave me 9 medications,6 pills including that bloody ventolin,1 inhaler,1 stack of logenzes and i cough syrup.I always hate that bloody ventolin pills.Never fail to make me high since it have steroid in it.Now i'm high as if i had weed for my breakfast..lazy to move,my heartbeat is fast except i'm not feeling happy..not happy at all..
it make me get cranky and start yelling to almost everyone including dad and yamyam..so sorry,didn't mean it...realy,really sorry..
why must at this very situation lots of my friends call me and aksed me to chill out and i really want to go?Hump..tonight there'll be another futsal session cum farewell party for nikkit which i cannot miss.How can i miss one of my best bud party?but i can only sengih2 all the way la..can't get too groovy :(.Oh man,i wish i can kick ass in the court but since walking already leave me panting i think i won't be such a good idea..
besok ade discussion plak..tertekan
this morning he dragged me to clinic eventhough i look like shit,especially my hair which stand all the way along..arghhhhh...how could i let ppl see me like that?what a crime..
the dr gave me 9 medications,6 pills including that bloody ventolin,1 inhaler,1 stack of logenzes and i cough syrup.I always hate that bloody ventolin pills.Never fail to make me high since it have steroid in it.Now i'm high as if i had weed for my breakfast..lazy to move,my heartbeat is fast except i'm not feeling happy..not happy at all..
it make me get cranky and start yelling to almost everyone including dad and yamyam..so sorry,didn't mean it...realy,really sorry..
why must at this very situation lots of my friends call me and aksed me to chill out and i really want to go?Hump..tonight there'll be another futsal session cum farewell party for nikkit which i cannot miss.How can i miss one of my best bud party?but i can only sengih2 all the way la..can't get too groovy :(.Oh man,i wish i can kick ass in the court but since walking already leave me panting i think i won't be such a good idea..
besok ade discussion plak..tertekan
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Mommy,i'm sick
Uhuk..uhuk..i had a sore throat yesterday.I think it's because i kissed carlos and accidently inhale his fur or should i say hair?whatever..but then it vanished as i took mum advised to gobbled McD porridge and eat ice creams to sooth the swollen..it works..hey,clever chics then inhaled few ciggies due to stressed condition and today i am feeling worst..i have runny nose, sore throat and i don't stop coughing..i feel bad..really really bad..sleepy and high..(i am supposed to love the high feeling rite?)plus my body are aching..tired for no reason..i didn't do any hardwork yesterday..hum..i wonder why..At this moment all i want is my mum :(..Yeah..yeah..i'm such a baby..I know..
skali yamyam pon demam..siannyer..he must have got it from me..bad news is he might not be coming over today..huk..huk..he got his mommy to take care of him at home and i have to be left alone..takpela..chics dah besar kan??
Have to submit my prolog lab today but hey ho,i didn't know a shit how to do it..I might want to ask Joe but he's no where to be seen.Yesterday yamyam offered me to do that lab but ehe i dun think so.Firstly it's my assigment and i have to do it or maybe copy it myself :P..secondly he is not my slave and finally i dun think he knew prolog..He's always kind..Nak buatkan homeworkla..buatkan air Anlenela..masakla..blabla..the bottom line is..he is kind to me..super duper kind..to pay kindness is giving kindness back..right?
Ahh..that's it..i feel crap..better head back home..my prolog lab and my snowy(it's a name for my bolster ;)) await me..
skali yamyam pon demam..siannyer..he must have got it from me..bad news is he might not be coming over today..huk..huk..he got his mommy to take care of him at home and i have to be left alone..takpela..chics dah besar kan??
Have to submit my prolog lab today but hey ho,i didn't know a shit how to do it..I might want to ask Joe but he's no where to be seen.Yesterday yamyam offered me to do that lab but ehe i dun think so.Firstly it's my assigment and i have to do it or maybe copy it myself :P..secondly he is not my slave and finally i dun think he knew prolog..He's always kind..Nak buatkan homeworkla..buatkan air Anlenela..masakla..blabla..the bottom line is..he is kind to me..super duper kind..to pay kindness is giving kindness back..right?
Ahh..that's it..i feel crap..better head back home..my prolog lab and my snowy(it's a name for my bolster ;)) await me..
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Eidul Adha
Selamat hari raya haji..to those who celebrate it..for me..ehe..usual routine maybe something special which i prepare kuah kacang and lodeh..but still i end the day in my "uniform",baby t and short..we didn't even went back to grandma's.mom and dad find it to lazy to drive..so my raya haji is like..the usual cuti..
Despite all the cuti,i syill have tonnes of assigments to be done..tertekan betulla..i wish i would graduate as soon as possible..but thinking of working environment make me scared..buat thesis pon terhegeh2..nak keje kunun..uh...
My neighbour,my child hood friend is getting married next month..ah..can't imagine that..the kenduri will be held here,in Shah Alam..and i guess i'll be around to watch that big day..Watch je la,nak tolong malas..hehe and i bet mom will ask me to do whatever yg patut..uh..uh..and mom said she offered my neighbour to share our house in case her relatives want extra place to stay over..uh oh..not good..coz i'll be the victim.They r going to stay in my room..and i'll be the refugees again..it's not that i dun like human being it just that..i dun like ppl to meddle with my things..but yelah,like my mom said.."once in a lifetime"..
yeah right..nanti kalau jiran seblah lagi kawen,i'll bet she say that too..but..actually nevermind..she's a friend of mine pon..maybe i can sleep at hp after attending her wedding..
But,isn't it too soon to get married.I mean u have to leave ur bachelor hood behind..all the party and boy shopping..Will u regret it?i asked mom "kenapa die nak kawen cepat huh" and she said "sbb bf die dah ade duit..buat apa kawan lama2 lagipun..kalau dah suke,kawin je la.."as if she was saying it to me.. but i try not to understand it..maybe aku je yg perasan kot..haha
okla..enuff of saying shit..maybe i should get my brain wash..
Despite all the cuti,i syill have tonnes of assigments to be done..tertekan betulla..i wish i would graduate as soon as possible..but thinking of working environment make me scared..buat thesis pon terhegeh2..nak keje kunun..uh...
My neighbour,my child hood friend is getting married next month..ah..can't imagine that..the kenduri will be held here,in Shah Alam..and i guess i'll be around to watch that big day..Watch je la,nak tolong malas..hehe and i bet mom will ask me to do whatever yg patut..uh..uh..and mom said she offered my neighbour to share our house in case her relatives want extra place to stay over..uh oh..not good..coz i'll be the victim.They r going to stay in my room..and i'll be the refugees again..it's not that i dun like human being it just that..i dun like ppl to meddle with my things..but yelah,like my mom said.."once in a lifetime"..
yeah right..nanti kalau jiran seblah lagi kawen,i'll bet she say that too..but..actually nevermind..she's a friend of mine pon..maybe i can sleep at hp after attending her wedding..
But,isn't it too soon to get married.I mean u have to leave ur bachelor hood behind..all the party and boy shopping..Will u regret it?i asked mom "kenapa die nak kawen cepat huh" and she said "sbb bf die dah ade duit..buat apa kawan lama2 lagipun..kalau dah suke,kawin je la.."as if she was saying it to me.. but i try not to understand it..maybe aku je yg perasan kot..haha
okla..enuff of saying shit..maybe i should get my brain wash..
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