Year end

Finally it's year and. Another year has passed us by.Lots of things happen.How r u going to clebrate today?I will be celebrating..most probobly at home je kot or maybe..I dunno..since parties has been cancelled.


Anyway, I'm on half day today people and 1 more hour to go.Yeehaaa..But..apa aku nak buat lepas ni?hishhh!!


What ever it is..


happy new year!!



apsal aku rasa sedih lak ni?iskhhh...

Dreams last for so long..

I have reoccurring dreams which is normal right?But this one, scare the shit outta me.It happens in 3 sequels, like on the first night I will dream about the first part, second night, second part and so on...


Part 1
I befriended with a gurl. She's famous and pretty.She's also nice and everybody likes her and sort of worship her. We became best friend and start hanging out together. Everyone knows that we are like sooo best friend, unseparable.


Part 2
I don't know what happen but I remember tearing her flesh from her body into pieces. My hands are covered with her blood. She's dead and I killed her. Still remember how I rip off her body and slowly began to tear he flesh pices by pieces.I don't know what happen and why I killed her but I know it was me. Blood was everywhere, my clothes we soaked with her blood and my room began to stinks..and my cats just watch me and sometime they lick the blood.To clear the evidence, I tear all her flesh and her organs and throw them to the sea where fishes will ate her remaining flesh or they will rot later.


Part 3
The remaining evidence is still with me, her skeleton.What did I do with them?I buried them under my bed.Underneath the cement under my bed. When gone missing everybody started to look for her. My mom keep asking me questions and everywhere I walked all people do is keep talking about her. Saying that they sware that the will find the murder. Bloody hell.I was scared. The scary feeling is the as as when ur high on marijuana and your friends joke about calling the cops. That kind of scared. I keep telling myself that I'm dreaming.


Even when I woke up I still feel so scared and believe I had killed someone and stuff then under my bed.


The worst part is.. I keep dreaming about it for almost everyday.But that was 2 years ago.


I don't dream about it anymore but I keep thinking about it..means i keep thinking about that dream..What the hell is that supposed to mean?What is it that it wants me to know?


Or just put it this way, mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur..ait??

Party

Ok. So I decided that I'm going to be a party gurl again.I know some of you will mock me but. Who the hell are you?Do you think I give a shit? Noooo..


Amir you are right..I shall do whatever I want. Shall go partying and wasting and what so ever coz life is too precious to waste.Shall be pretty and shall be slim.Shall keep the chubby ass and shall have killer legs.


You see..All bastards in this world shall pay.


Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

Dissapear

I just want to dissapear.Like vanish into this thin air.
So that nobody can see me and nobody will try to hurt me.


It hurts when all the things that you believe turn out to be a lie
It hurts when the person who u trust the most, who you seek for comfort turn their back on you.


I don't think I can take this life anymore.
Why is that everytime I give my all..the best that I have in me..
They will coma back to me in a bad way?


Am I not deserve to be love..at all?


Please help me..please help me..please help me..please help me..

Rindu

Lat night I was so boring and lonely, practically got nothing to do.Was exhausted playing games or even to read books. So I flipped through my album and reminisce and for all the sudden i felt..rindu..

5 Bersih class of 97


Okay, this is my classmates.Kitorang adalah budak kelas tercorot skali but I must say that we are the most happening class. Still remember, bila part ponteng kelas, everybody would take turns to ponteng but there was this time when everybody went missing from class except for 3 students who happened to be prefects. Tu pon diorang dying inside to ponteng jugak..hehehe




After basketball session


This was taken after a basketball session. Even I was short but I can play basketball[haha..I wish].We tried to gather everyone no matter how bz there were just to play this freaking game on the evening. The reason??Otak yang cerdas datang dari badan yang cergas..muahahahaha..which is true ok..

My hangout friends:Fadzi, Zaireen,Nikkit, Nik, Shaza,me,Tini and Lina

These were[still are] girls that I used to hang out with. Despite our crazy and scary behavior we are bunch of civilized people now. Fadzi is an auditor, Zaireen an engineer, Nikkit is pursuing her MBA, Nik a lawyer, Shaza the KFC Asst Manager, errr..and that's me, Tini a mother to be and a Sales Exec and finally Lina the Add Math teacher[ajar set 1 lagi ok..]. Me and Nik see each other quite often. We used to hang out with Nikkit and Fadzi but since Nikkit went to Aust and Fadzi is super duper bz pursuing her MICPA ..so it's just me and Nik.


Anyway, my point is..Aku rindu masa-masa berlari ke dining hall and round compound. I don't know for you guys but for me, my school sistas are uncomparable.Definetely the best'est' friends I ever known.


Luv you guys.Mwah!

Those old days

I missed my uni days..My lazy days.
When all I did was sleep, shop and party and er..try to attend classes


Still remember what a bliss it was..
When I woke up it's already 10 and forgotten that I got class at 8 but still feel pretty ok..
Now if that happens heh..No doubt I feel damn guilty and damned.



Still remember what a bliss it was..
Going shopping spending my parents money and not even looking at the price tag
Now..still do shopping but now have to scan the price tag first.



And when night came, still remember
How we would boogie all night, dancing on the table
and laughed about it the next morning..trying to remember what happened.
Now..after seeing my boyfriend, will straightly head for my bed.


Back then lecturers used to target me and probobly they hate me but that didn't bother me
Now..My boss hates me and it's killing me!


Huhuhuhh..I want that kind of life back..can I have it back?Pleaaaseeee??


*3 more days to meet him

Faraway

During the weekend, we, stf sista went for Ika and Lenny's wedding. I have been avoiding weddings since..err..August for some personal reason..


Anyaway, I was studying friends face and came out with conclusion. While we were eating or looking at the bride some of them tersengih2 sendiri and looked so dreamy. Hehehe..I assume that they have been dreaming..


"Kalau aku kawen nanti...[sila sambung dengan menggunakan imiginasi anda]"


Betul kan Nik kan?kan?


Anyway, didn't get the chance to speak to Lenny since she was the center of attention and everybody was grabbing her. I manage to talk to the bridegroom though.


Me:Selamat pengantin baru Yang [His name is Yang ok? Takkanla aku nak panggil laki org camtu kot]
Yang:Waaa, kau pakai baju kurung Chics?Ni la pertama kali aku nampak kau pakai pakaian yg mempunyai kain banyak.


Hemm..Luckily it was your day, kalau tak..


Anyway, I have a confession to make. Sebenanye aku pon termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang yang berangan tadi..haha

Joking?

Sometimes when he talks to me or joke around he forgot the fact that i'm a lady and as if he's seeing one of his guy friend in me. The reason? His joke sometimes make drove me mad and even worst make me cry.


Joke 1:
Me:Yang, mana satu yang lawa, kasut merah ke kasut pink ni?
He:Hmm..Same je.Kaki you banyak strech markla so sama je..*laugh histerically*



Joke 2:
Me:I rindula dekat Nikkit*referring to one of my-female-best-buddy*
He:I pun..Dah lama tak dating-dating dengan die*gelak gatal*



Joke 3:
Me:Kalau I gemuk you sayang i tak?
He:Kalau u gemuk, I pegi out station lapan taun tak balik-balik.



Joke 4:
I was wearing eyeshadow with the 'smoky' effect. It took me around 15 minutes to get it done perfectly.
He:Oh my, siapa yang tumbuk mata u?Sakit tak?


Hmm...Cuba kalau aku buat lawak cam tu..


p.s:Annual dinner's pic is here

I received an email from someone unknown, his email address in being based here..with a local address. Here how it sounded like.


Email 1
Hello chicsinred,
My name is xxxxx & i stumbled at your website......
not a bad creation.....
i am interested to recruit many chics as i am in the employment industry.
Keen to know more? pls email me.
thanks


My respond--->Sound interesting, tell me more[or something like that, can't really remember]




Email 2[His reply]
basically, we are are recruiting many chics to one special lounge.....just to sit, you get paid RM 1/- a minute and the work starts 8pm to 1 am....so the guaranteed income is RM 300.00 per night.....after 1 am, it's all your....what ya wan to do!]

qualification: young, pretty &.......whow!
keen??


My reply--->Ermm, sound fishy, I have to pass




Email 3[His reply]
well.....sounds too good to be true.......yet it is true...why....locals are always in demand now as foreigners always got raid...see the true scenario now?>?




What kind of job is that. i have one thing in mind but not too sure about it.
Kalaulah betul ape aku pikir..Tsk..tsk..sanggupnya orang ni offer aku kerja tu..


Tell me the truth..Do I look like one?[If your answer is yes, you can just keep it to yourself]




Anyway, what do you guys have in mind about this job description?Teka cepat! I want to know whether what i'm thinking is right.

Beau

My beau..

Hold my hand

Never let me go..

Because you know..

I fucking love you so..

*********************************************************************************

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Has anyone seen this guy?

He's been missing since Tuesday.

Benjy, If you're reading this,come home..

We are so worried about u..

We just want you to know that we love you!!

Geram

Venue:Office.
Time:After lunch


Me:You jumpa I tak hari ni?I miss u la.Dah brape hari jumpa skejap je.We hardly spent time with each other anymore.
He:Jumpa..jumpa.Tapi lambat sikit..Lepas kelas malam karang.
Me:Ok, see you then.*smile*




Venue:Fitness First.
Time:Around 8.15 p.m


Me:Hello?
He:Hello,I tak boleh dtgla.Tak sempat.Besok jelah kite jumpa.Ok??
Me:*Frusfurated* Whateverlah.Okla..Bye. *switch off phone*




Venue:Bedroom
Time:12.00 midnight


He:*sms mode*You dah tido ke?
5 minutes later my handphone rang.
Me:*Mute the phone*




Venue:Office
Time:9.00 a.m


He:Hello, may speak to Sharina.
Me:Sharina speaking.
He:I ni.Telefon you rosak ke?Something wrong with your phone la.
Me:What?I takde mase nak cakap.I bz.Bye



Telefon rosak??Penatnye aku merajuk..kau cakap telefon rosak??Aduh..sakit otak aku camni.. Geramnye!!

End of the road

It's already December.Another December..Next month will be another January, another new year. Another year has passed.Means another year wasted.Let see, did I manage to accomplished all my resolutions?


Here are my last year's resolutions:-
# stop consuming whatever is bad for my body-->Halfly fulfill
#less partying..less wasted
#care about my love ones..not my ex love one
#be a good muslim
#take life more seriously
#love my life
#have respect for people


Those captured in bold were things that I manage to keep.


Ok, now it's time to make new one and hope I can manage to keep them[haha]


#Revamp my look so I would look drop dead gorgeous[big joke]
#Be a good muslim
#Control my temper
#Find a new job
#Walk away from people who never stop hurting me!![sigh]
#Have a body to die for, go to gym!


Hmm..That's all for now.Will add the list later..if there's any!

AnnuaL Dinner

My company is holding it's annual dinner in two weeks time.The theme is hawaiian night.Hawaiian..


Does this mean that I can wear bikini?Looking at all my non malay collegue I think the answer is yes but I dun think I want to show my cellulite thigh plus i'll be shivering to death.


Was thinking just to wrap a pareo and turn it to halter dress but I think everyone will do that. I have a dress, not actually a hawaiian one but it's flowery does it count?Urm..This is tough. Where can I buy those hawaiian thingy?


I am a freak, vain and fashion concious,that's why I care [if you are wondering].


What shall I wear?Any advice?

Tired

I burn my face while frying bergedil yesterday.That thing meletup-letup while I was frying them and the oil hit my face.Not whole part but it's enough to make my face look cacat.I guess zitsy face is not enough for me.



The open house was ok.But I'm not.



Was so tired that I slept right after maghrib.



Am still so tired today.


Boss, can I take half day?

Depression

*Please take note that this is another whining entry.Those who are in happy mood or feel completely comfortable with themself can buzz off.


Have you ever woke up in the morning , looked into the mirror and saw a monster?I did. Not only a monster but a panda monster.


I know that I don't have the flawless skin but today I realize that my complexion is totally out. I have zits all over my padang bola forehead and it's everywhere.I admit that for the past few months I've been abondoning my face due to work stress and personal problem[ha!]. But now, from the look of the nasty zits, no concealer can do the miracle.


And my hair..Urgh..So the kerasla..And it's short and I don't have the 'jelita-kind-of-cinta-look'. Ok,fine..I know it's my fault yg slalu mengatal-gatal nak potong rambut.Next time, whenever i pass any salon , I must remind myself not to cut my hair or try for any promotion.


You know how much I love bag?Well, guess what?I have two bags now..Prada and Gucci.Courtesy of sleeping late and I dunno what, I now own two eyebags and they are dark..More darker than my skin.Just like a panda.

My two bags and zitsy face :(

And yesterday, when I visited Shaza,the first thing she said to me was



"Chics, kau dah gemuk!Muka kau bulat!"



Shite!This is depressing man..How am I gonna pick up a hunk with this condition??

Tick Tock

I'm so pissed off.I've downloaded few songs from imesh for like hundred time on the same song because when I played it, there's nothing to be heard. And now it's giving me headache already. Like all my chinese collegue say

"Aiyaa, I "koyak" already like this"

Ke aku yg bodoh..Tatau la kan..


I really want that gwen stephanie's song!!Arghh


Tick..tock..tick..tock..

My baby!!

Finally!I got My jack jack..


Was supposed to buy it early in the morning. That is the only thing that I could think of on my way from the client's office but due to 'heavy' sakit perut I had to prostpone it to lunch.


But I had to take 12.30 lunch today and by that time, my manager and the estee lauder manager already laughing their way to McDonalds. Cheh..Manager aku pon macam budak-budak.


Had to line up for the queue was quite long and sambil-sambil tu berharap

"Janganla Jack jack aku habis"

while my other collegue who happen to go out for lunch early berlagak-lagak with their jack-jack to me. I was thinking to buy only apple pie coz I want to eat somewhere else tapi have to buy value meal pulak...sheesh.Lecehla lu McD!


Too bad that Paige is on MC today. We have been reminding each other everyday about jack-jack since last week and now she's not here..She did smsed me saying that she's so sad..But I bet her bf will get it for her.


I know you guys would mock me[like my collegues, who..atlast ended buying jack-jack too.hah!]but the bottomline is I'm happy today coz I got that cute baby!!

Anger Management

Yesterday something happen. I lost my temper..again. This time it's quite bad. Usually it was just my acid tongue who did the damage but this time it's more than that. I hit someone last night. I totally smack and punch that person, not just that, my handphone was one of the victim. I threw my handphone to that person. Poor fella [I really mean it]. It just that..that person really ask for it. You know, I may look small and petite but I can be very violent when it come to certain extand.


Usually, I will manage to control my anger but I don't know what happen to me last night. Maybe I had reached my limit and just can't take it anymore.I don't like what happen. I really don't. Usually I'm quite calm even though I was known to have a temper. Lately things had been bad. I just don't know how could that happened. Maybe there's too many hatred was kept inside of me. Maybe I should just let it go and be like some people, pretending nothing happen in their life and never take any precautions. Maybe.. I dunno..


But I do know that I need help.