Tensen

I'm still stuck at the office.
Letih aa camni.Besok pagi-pagi dah nak kene ngadap muka client and nak kene terminate people.iskhhh...
No time to go jolly and berpoya-poya.

I'm so miserable.
I need my plastic card.I need new shoes and perhaps new skirts.
And maybe I need a new handbag as well..

Change?

I used not to care about what people say about me. Whether they like me or not. I mean, if they don't like me..too bad and I'm not going to change myself just to make those people like me.Not that i care anyway. And if someone mess with me I don't give a shit about that person, if they talk to me or whatever I would totally ignored them, pretending that they are invisible.


I used to wonder why some people really feel miserable if they found out that someone doesn't like them. I mean, nobody's perfect so if let say someone doesn't like you..it's their choice and it's totally normal.


But I guess, things change. Perception change.Now I do care about 'certain' people perception. They hate me and because of that my life had turn upside down for the past few months.For the first time in my life I started to think what should i do to make them like me. Should I change my sense of dressing?Should I lower down my voice while talking or issit that I should tone my big but?This is sick. Why should I change for them..Oh I forgot..becuase I'm so madly in love with their son :(.


Enough craps. Anyway, today I went to see a client at Damansara Height. I was so famous with my bad sense of direction. Avoiding being lost I took a cab, a PJ cab. I told the driver where I wanted to head to and he asked me.


"Miss, Awak tau ke jalan nak pegi sana?Boleh tunjuk tak?"


Duh, bang..Kalau saya tau jalan..Takdela saya naik cab...
Bukan sepatutnya cab-cab kat sini hustler dalam bab-bab jalan ke?
Ke dia saje buat-buat sesat sebab nak charge aku lebih?

Broken

As i had guess..U never learn your lesson.


Now that everythings has shattered..


I have only one thing to say


I wish that you won't be happy in everything you do.
I wish that even you get married to someone else you still can't erase my image in your head.
I wish even you sleep with her at night, you will always smell my scent around you.
I wish that you will regret that you almost get me but you don't


I will haunt you forever

Overlook

Last week somebody email me for the position of service engineer. I received lots of email from other applicants as well. Being lazy, I replied the email asking for the person to come for interview at my office without even looking at his resume.


Today,the guy replied my email.


"Please confirm my flight ticket to and fro and also please book a place for me to stay"


Apparently he's now reciding in India and is 52 years old,desperately looking for job. Man , he must be happy that I replied his email. Too bad that my company only hired local staff, which i should take note earlier.Hehe.


Just imagine if he did not write me the email and went straightfoward to attend the interview..Erkk..


I don't want to think about it..Next time I'll be carefull [yeah, right.]

Who say that woman is complicated?

I'm playing receptionist again.Actually is a good thing coz I'm alone here and can do whatever i want.Hee


Was visiting and having a sleepover with a friend last Monday night. She broke off with the boyfriend coz it seemed that the guy is 'confused'. Confused???I can't accept that excuse. Why should he be confuse now why not when they kiss, they cuddle or even when she helped him with lots of things.Now, who says that woman is complicated?


I just can't understand guy sometime. For example, yamyam said he likes me for how I dress and the way I carry myself but when he finally got me things changed. He wanted me to dress differently plak even from the very first moment I already told him that that is the way things will be if he wants to be with me. What is that?Somekind of saving me? Or more like..teaching me la kan..Ahh..Whatever.


And why must some guy act like Mr.Macho and Mr. Cool or even Mr. Understanding when actually they are Mr.MCP inside?


I'm not pointing my finger to all guys coz not all of them is like that. Some of them really sweet and charming.
Ntahla wey, peninglah.


Anyway, so kesian to my friend. All she wants is to be love back. And I think she should deserve it.

Layout

New layout is still under construction. Ni pon curik2 masa buat tau.
Got to go.Have to meet a client. A dreadful client.
Tata first.

Open house

The season is on again.. To hold open houses. Well, I simply love open houses coz I love to eat!!Makan stok tak ingat, ok..This year, I have to tell my self to control it sbb seme org cakap aku dah gemuk!!Sampai hati..Sob..sob..

Was thinking earlier that I won't be holding any coz it will be damn tiring. The procedure after always kill me and my mom. But then, to think again..Why not?Setahun sekali and I sort of miss my friends too. Dah lama tak get together..This invitation is especially for Mr.Fahimi who is now reciding in Sudan.Oii..Datangla rumah aku!!Haha

Will be notifying u guys about the date, but tell me personalyla sbb aku tanak post alamat aku dekat sini. Email me or sms me or whatever..

Ok..Got to get back to work..Melambak-lambak gile.
Take care y'all
Mwahh!!
Tata

Proven

Well, now it's proven that all guys who wants me to be with them is not so sincere after all.

You know i'm difficult at the very first place and you still want to try.
I really enjoy your company. I really do.
U make me feel happy and leave me smiling.

But as you know I needed more time.
Time to settle things
Time to make things right
Time to heal

I know I'm not a nice person.
Maybe I didn't treat you the way you want.
I'm so sorry if I hurt you
or whatever.

But calling people with bad names doesn't help..

How was Raya

Hello people.I'm back.Back at work *frown*.

How was your raya celebration?Mine..Sux..That was the most boring Raya I ever have in my entire life. For the first time I didn't have to wear any baju kurung. Just sit in front of TV and watched craps. On the second Raya, went to Ancol theme park. Gile ape, raya pegi theme park..Samala mcm tgk sarkis mase Raya.Haaaaa..Fun isn't it?

Jakarta was..hot, dirty,full of poverty and I don't want to go there anymore. Mum is planning to go again next March but I have to pass. The reason? I was homesick. I miss my hometown. I thought the shopping will be a blast but it was not. Even though I must agree that was damn cheap. Not all but most of them. They dun have much shops .Nafnaf, Zara, Kookai, MAC and Stila is out of the picture. Takde lansung..I only manage to locate 1 MNG shop..Only one..And the poeple..Once they know ur from Malaysia, they'll be extra nice to you. Even cute cute guy will give their attention to you the moment you open your mouth.

The most thing I cannot stand was.The cleanliness..Oh my, it's so filthy..Beggars were everywhere. There were even homeless people who will simply sleep infront of people yard.Buat macam rumah sendiri.. I cannot stand the view.. Sangat sedihla ok..

Anyway, it was great to see dad again, to celebrate together.. although was a bit taken back when he said kitorang mengabiskan duit die lagi although I dun remember asking any money from him.

Can't imagine how do u guys who stay abroad cope up with things. I can't and I dun think I want to be stay away far from home. I'll miss the food, the people and will miss everything.

It's true when people say

"Hujan Emas di negara orang, Hujan Batu Di negara sendiri,

Lebih baik di negara sendiri"

Cheeewah..haha :P

P.S:. To read again. Apsal aku ni asyik whining je?This is bad..Anyway,photos are here

Raya mood on

Was supposed to do my packing last night but after eating a plate of nasi tomato and 10 pieces of roti jala I accidently dozed off to sleep. Actually, I only wanted to baring-baring , ended up i fall asleep and woke up around 4 a.m coz i felt so thirsty.Tula dia, tak sempat nak packing.

On my way to the office, the DJ played a song. A hari raya song by Ahmad Jais which for the first time, enlighten my Raya mood..And I'm so in the mood now.You know what i am gonna do when i get home?I will switched to local tv to catch all the Raya advertisement. Only this morning I realized I haven't do that this year. Just hope for the 'ombak' advert won't be aired.I hate that iklan..It will always make me cry.The one and only thing that spoiled the mood is..I haven't got any Hari Raya card yet which is so tak best. I mean, I used to received lots and lots of them but this year. None.Sad isn;t it?Tsk..tsk..

This maybe my last post for this week coz I'm off to mom and dad tomorrow. Unless if I manage to kidnap dad's laptoplah kan.So people..

"SELAMAT HARI RAYA

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN"

Have fun guys!!

Confession of a bad girlfriend

Here i am sitting at the reception, becoming the receptionist. You know being a receptionist means you can do anything you want coz there's not much to do which make my mind begin to think about lot's of things including this confession.

I am a bad girlfriend. I am so bad that sometime I wish I could kill my partner. I mean I know that he got lots of thing to do but I want him to give his full attention to me when we are together. And I will sulk if he didn't say things that I want to hear. Sulk and give him silence treatment. I know that having a partner means that we have to listen to their nags and stories but somehow i can't. Sometime when we fight I unleash the spite side of me and my mouth will went out of control.I speak my mind but when he did sometime i cried.

I tried to be a good one instead of a bad one. I tried to help him when he needs any help, try to laugh at his silly jokes, try to calm him down when he's mad, try to listen to every thing he told me to do but i can't seem to do it right.

I am a mengada-ngada gurl who is so self centered, who wants everything to be my way, who have an acid tongue, high maintanance and a psychopath.

No wonder he treats me like shit..How can him and my exes cope up with me.

Man.. i'm such a pain in the ass.

Missing my mummy

Cold day..cold and hungry day. Obviously it's a bad day for everyone since it's Monday but I found the reason to be happy today.My mum called me..And as simple as that.It makes my day.

She found me a perfect kebaya. A lacey kebaya with matching silk sarong and selendang.You know how much it cost?Only RM 200. I mean..Here, paling bodoh pon..with that material it will cost around..RM500. Like, yesterday I went to Alamanda, went to see Rizalman's and Radzuan Radzwill's collection,baju aje dah RM500. I really wanted to get my hands on those baju sbb cantek sgt tapi hamboi..Why should I buy the one with the higher price when I have the other with the lower price kan?Uh, by the way, Rizalman's was at his shop. Not only me yg excited tgk die tapi my partner pon coz according to him, Rizalman is 'jambu'..haha

Back to mom, she told me to fetch two fruitcakes form her friend. One to bring to Jakarta and one for..guess who?Puan Kamariah..I asked her why should she give it to her? I mean the lady had tore her daugther's heart apart.Mom really wants to see me and him together which make me sad...Now that's what i call mom's love.Would do anything for me as long as i get what i want. And she said that

"Ayah tak sabar-sabar nak tunggu korang datang"

Well dad, kitorang pon tak sabar2 nak pegi [and nak habiskan duit ayah]. And we love u to dad[ even though you never said those words but we know]!!mwah..mwah!!

Ala..Cepatla Khamis..

Lost

It's only a week to Raya but I dun feel like celebrating it. I dun even gone shopping yet!!Just imagine.Not even a single dress!!How bad is that?I mean compared to last year or last last year or year before that I would sure get my wardrobe full with new clothes or I shall busy dragging my partner or ex-partner[whatever] shopping..But look at me..I'm so boring that I am just stuck in front of this computer.Huk..Huk..

And you know what..I commit a sin yesterday[to me la]. I went out to see live band in the middle of bulan puasa. I can't simply deny the offer form a friend and went along. Tapi aku tak menari ok..Duduk je..goyang2 badan..Demm..Oh no..U can't blame me 100%.I was so damn lonely on the saturday evening.There's absolutely no soul in the house and I was feeling crappy.Before that I went out for amovie with another friend but he's busy with his own plan.Ok fine..I'm guilty 100%.

And today..Sunday..It's already 3.22 and I have wasted all the time that i have by lying in bed and staring at the ceiling thinking of i dunno what.My ex-ex called and ajak me to hang out with him at his apartment. I was tempted but I dun think I should go. Not that I dun want to see him but I dun want to let one thing to lead to another.

Tomorrow is already Monday..and I have to go to work..Arghh..I feel so lost..

To whoever you are...please found meeee..hurry!!

It's raining season again. Although, I must said it's quite a good news to muslims since it's the fasting month and it's not hot at all but the bad thing is..every time when ti's raining season I always got my athma attack. And it happen yesterday. Not just that but also I had a high fever. So I was off for 1 day.You know..It's horrible when you fall sick and your mum is not around.I felt so unloved :(

Anyway, on my way to the office this morning I was listening to a radio and topic of the day is

"Does SPM result really matter?"

Hmm..Actually..To me the answer is yes and no.

Yes is because, if you excel in your SPM U have the opportunity to win scholarships to study abroad [unless u r filthy rich] and also..you will have a sweet memory..Like..ahh..I scored 10A's in SPM.

No is because..Does not mean that U didn't get a good result..it is the end of the world.I mean how many millionare really excel in their studies? But you must put a big effort in it lah kan..

What happen to me was..I did not get an excellent result.My result was so-so[was quite bad actually] but you know what.It teached me something. I used to fool around in school.I only learn 'konsep mol' when it was only a month away before SPM and did not have any clue about the rest of the subject. So when I was in uni, I did much much better coz my SPM result taught me lots of thing.On the negative side..My record is a bit cacat. I managed to get perfect score for UPSR and PMR but my SPM was totally screwed.I mean for my rememberance..It's like..euughh..

Ok..enuff of the boring topic..tiba-tiba aku menjadi sivik plak hari ni..

U know I think the statement that only guy went through 'pecah suara' is not true.Coz I perasan after having sore throat my voice will definetely change. Logically pon, takkanla seme suara pompuan stay sama dari kecik sampai besar kan?Does this make sense?

Soory, the medication that i am taking make me like this..hmmpp..

Narrow

I end up going to work late. Not that I woke up late.I woke up quite early actually but maybe I took too long time to dry my hair and to do the make up. So since I was running late I speed up my car eventhough I know it's raining and it's quite slippery. I had tonnes works to be settle before 10 so what the heck,I just drive on. When I was about to reach subang toll area, I didn't see the jam there. I was speeding around 60 km/h and there's a car 20 meter in front of me. Shite. For sure I'm gonna hit the car.

So I brake..An emergency brake..But the car won't stop.It's keep moving and making strached sounds.Had no choice but to turn the stering to my right or else I might hit the BMW. Luckily my right route was not that jammed and there was no car at the moment. I thought I was safe but the car just wont stop. My car went straight to the devider..even I pressed the brake's pedal so hard.

I closed my eyes, I don't want to see what's going to happen as I know..For sure..I'm going to hit the iron thingy. Habisla aku..Habisla..Janganla aku mati..Tak sempat nak raya dengan mak dgn ayah..So it thought..I'm gonna die.And will be burn in hell..For reckless driving.

But God still want me here. My car stopped just few inches before it touches the iron thingy. Just few inches.Thank God.I was stunt..I mean..I'm save, no harm at all.After that my leg felt like jelly. Wobbly.

So dude, dun speed when it's raining or u might end up at batu 2 instead of batu 3.