Yearning

Beautiful morning. Am having a magnificent day and my spirit is far above the ground.. and I'm doing my work efficiently until.. last few minutes.

A guy stepped in. The first thing I caught about him was..the smell of his perfume.He is wearing Issey Miyake perfume.. the exact perfume as yamyam's. I just love it when yamyam wear this perfume.. make me weak on my knees.And now this guy is wearing the same perfume when thinking about my 'lost-bf' is the last thing I want to do.Even though he sit quite far from where I'm sitting..The smell lingers..and it's killing me..

Fuck.I miss him.

Yearning for you

P.S:Urghh..might change my layout since this one is having some kind of problem..

Stupid Bitch

I've been bitched by one of my candidate.Actually he's not my candidate, he's more like my collegue's candidate.He was supposed to come at 10.30 but he came at 11.30 and insisted that the interview was supposed to be at 11.30 instead of 10.30.Anyway, whatever. Since my collegue got another appointment at 12 so she ask me to helped her on the interview.

Oh boy, what a bitch he turned to be.A male bitch.A stupid telco male bitch.I just don't get it why some asshole who always turn to be my own race turns to be such arrogant bastard when they think they had already climbed the corporate ladder.He keep giving me some kind of mocking look as i run the interview session with him as if aku ni mcm budak mentah[ok, i know that's true tapi..yelah..kan kau nak mintak keje ni?]

Me:So, what is your best achievement so far?
Male-Bitch:*Sneering*.Of course to be at this managerial level when i'm only 40.U know, i earn RM 8 K now and I have lots of property.For the mean time I have 3 houses.I think i'm quite successfull and i'm so proud of myself.
Me:Oh..Ok..Let say if the salary that we are offering is lesser from what you get but the job really satisfy you, would you be able to consider it coz u mention earlier that exposure is what you want..
Male-Bitch:What?Of course not!!I really want to talk to your collegue now.She is so irresponsible.Money is the most important..exposure is one different subject.This is absurd.

He then asked for his CV's back and said that he is so frusfurated since he went through all trouble to find parking..and had to park so far away and had to walk quite a mile [which is a lie] and what so fuck more everlah.

Male-Bitch:I dun want to be a bitch but I regret coming here. This is just terrible and frusfurating.*stand up and gather his things*
Me:*Smile*.Have a nice day, sir.

Fuck you, sir is more like it actually.Come on..I know hundreds of successful malay and they earn twice or trice much from what you earn but they still give their respect to other people. They know they have it but they did not go mocking people as if we didn't matter.And he talked as if, getting involved in telco is everything.Hello encik, ayah saye pon keje telco jugak..tapi takdela prangai cam awak..malula skett..

Eeii..I was so sakit hati coz he bitched at me and it is not even my fault at the first place..Manala aku nak tau salary kau bape skang..And bukan aku yg set appointment dgn kau and sape suruh kau pekak..orang kata kol 10.30 kau ingat kol 11.30.But since i am supposed to show my friendliness and can't bitch back coz my job needs me to be hypocrite, all i can do is smile to him.But at the end, when he walked out the door...I cried[ which is so me].

I cried because I can't bitch back and and it's against my nature.

Dem yuhh Male-Bitch!!!

Gymming[sukati aku je nak letak camni]

Hey Ho.Unlike yesterday, I was happy. Actually the morning part is a bit shitty but..dunno what happen suddenly i'm more cheerful in the evening.

I went to gym yesterday and as the result today..bontotku telah cramp.Yeah..yeah..laugh as you want but to me it's a good pregress sbb bile bontot telah cramp maknanya muscle2 disitu telah berjaya dikerjakan..heheh.So people, there will be no more dark age when people can spot my presence from miles away justbecause of my huge butt :(. Anyway that's not my point. My point is..I was in the lift to go back after a refreshing day at the gym when there were 2 guys inside with me..And yes..they are yummylicious.And that's not my point either. What amazed me was..they are chinese and they speak malay to each other.

Cute-guy-1:Awak sudah lama masuk ini gym?
Cute-guy-2:Sudaaahh..Bagus aa ini gym..Banyak amoi lawa.
Cute-guy-1:Betol..betol..some more..dapat air free lagi..
Cute-guy-2:waa..awak kilija mana?
Cute-guy-1:Bla..bla..

I can't exactly remember the detail, but i can't help staring at them.Pasal..susahnye nak jumpa cina cakap bahasa melayu sesame cina.Seriously..Even in my office, it's either they speak English or speak chinese dielect which will always make me wonder

"Ey, derang ni mengumpat aku ke?"

Hmm..maybe i should learn to speak chinese dielect too..so far i only know the word 'cibai'..hehehe

Blues of Monday

Monday come again..with the blues of course.

Have to see a fucked up client today and usually yamyam will be fetching me but since he's gone now..so all i can do is..hail a cab and try not to think of him.

I wish I could see him coz there 're lots of things that needs to be sort out. Now i know the timb bomb begin to tick..I need to find a way to save it.

Finally, that person did say something..so what is my reaction?Well, actually i'm kinda expecting it..All I can say is..

Give me some time..

Perception

Being a light-hearted person is not uncomplicated. People always read between the lines wrongly. When I was working to earn extra money during my semester break in Pets Wonderland, a colleague came to me.

She:So, kenapa you berenti skolah masa form 3 ye?
Me: Huh?
She:Yela, kenapa tak sambung blaja?
Me:Aaa..Sebab malas kot..

Well, it's not that I don't want to protect my self but there's no point pointing out the truth if they would never believe you in the first place. I always get this kind of perception. People always indicated me as having a sugar daddy, a stewardess [??], a bimbo [common one], as someone who does not have respect to people and somebody with low education background. Well, fine. Maybe it's my fault. Blame it on my 'whatever' attitude. But last night. I was quite shock..Was having a long-conversation with Noone when he pointed out something.

Noone: Kau sentiasa high, tak taula kalau kau high camne.
Me:High??
Noone:Yela..Kau slalu nampak cam as if you were on drugs 24 hours.U know..Every guy would have thought that u are easy.
Me:What do you mean by that?
Noone:Means that..Senang je nak ajak kau balik and sebab kau slalu nampak high..lagi senang, coz u probably won't remember what happened to you.
Me:Shite!!Serious..Ooo..Selama ni mesti kau dgn Aling membincangkan hal ni.
Nonne:Hahahahha..Kalau tak takkan dia slalu nak ajak kau gi Genting.

Darn..And I thought that was a joke. Anyway, if you really know me..You will be surprise with the result. All I can say is..

"Dream on"

And yes Noone, aku bangun lambat pagi ni..hehehe

Rindu

Hey you ..

Apa you tgh buat skarang?Apsal tak call I?Mesti tempat tu tak dapat line kan..Kesian.Tula, orang dah kata jangan pergi, you nak pergi jugak..Best tak makan biawak dengan tupai?Kalau you tak pergi kan..mesti kita makan sushi petang-petang.Tak pon jalan-jalan kat IKEA sambil berangan and pastu gi makan meatballs die yg sedap tu.Best kan?Kan??

Balikla cepat ye..Pasal I dah rindu..

Farewell

Managed to send dad to the airport. And..Guess what?I did not cry.

Dad:Well, ayah takde ni, jgn jahat-jahat.Jangan slalu balik lambat. Jangan slalu tak balik..Jangan bagi mak and ayah risau lagi.
Me:Ee..ayah ni, suka bebel..*moving away*
Dad:*laughed and pulled me close to him*[this point is where i nearly cried]
Me:Ayah jangan lupa makan ubat*hugging dad and give him 2 pecks of kisses on his cheek*

Ok, now I think that's sad.

After bidding dad goodbye me and mom gobbled our breakfast somewhere nearby.We had RM 25 breakfast for a plate of lousy nasi goreng and a plate of lousy nasi lemak for me.I wanted to add telur goreng and chicken rendang but then i have to pay additional RM2 for the telur and RM 2.50 for the chicken.Bapak mahal, but it was weird..the difference between telur and ayam is only 50 cent?.I understood that it's the airport and u want to overcharged us tapi can you please prepare a tasty meal instead of some lousy food.Kalau ye pon nak berniaga, biarla ikhlas..People dun mind paying if it fit the price.

And now, i'm back in the office with a heavy heart.Reason?Am lazy to work and was sad seeing that mom was so sad.

Mom:Now, I'm back at square one.I'm all alone again..

and she keep repeating that phrase over and over again..

Ermm...Any Topic Will Do

ANNOUNCEMENT:HAAAA..I'M NOW UNDER GROOVYLICIOUS.ORG.THANX TO MISS ANNE!!

For the first time of the month I was happy. Last night, the whole family including Nash went for a farewell dinner for dad at Kelana Seafood. I dun like that place but they bond between us family soared my spirit. We talked and lauged all the way.I just love my family despite arguments that we had.:P

Dad will be leaving for Jakarta tomorrow.I know it's not that far but that won't stop me from weeping tomorrow.I'll be sending him off, together with mom.This is so sad, thinking of that has already make me want to cry.Ok, fine..I am daddy's little girl, so what?Usually, if dad go away to work, the chance to see him during Hari Raya is nil but not this year. Ayah is so baik hati that he decide to buy us all plane ticket to celebrate Hari Raya in Jakarta.Yyeyeyeyeyeye..Selamat duit aku, tak yah bagi duit raya dekat kezen2 seme..Muahahaha..But still, have to renew my passport coz it expired this March.Ayi[my bro] is so thrilled when mom blurt out the news coz his best buddy, Hara is there.Her dad is the ambassador there..Mesti he will leave me out from whatever plan he has.Darn..tapi takpe..mana tau i'll meet cute-cute guy like Nicholas Saputra there..Hehehe..Dream on Chics.

Yamyam didn't call.I guess he's not allowed to call while undergoing the training or maybe there's no reception there..Or whatever.But..I don't even miss him and I rarely think about him.Tapi it's only been 1 day.

Love and Hate

Happy Monday..Hah, Usually i'll be in a very bad mood when it come to monday but not today..Coz my boss went to Singapore!!Hohoh..Not to say that she really care about what i did in the office but still...

After 3 days dissapearing, my-on-and-off- bf finally rang me and let me party happily with the rest of my collegue. We were at the ampang branch, celebrating the ampang new office that time when he decided to call me. I was happy,ok but..ehe..mcm ade bengang jugakla.And as usual..he threw me with his lame excuses..Yang paling babi skali is..I kept forgiving him..Sheshhh..Tell me how to hate himla,people??

U know this is what I call love and hate relationship. It's like..At one time,I really hate him and wish that someone would kill him but then a few minutes later i can feel like my heart is melting. U know..I am a very difficult person to deal with.As a friend i might be very easy going but when i'm your girlfriend,i can be your worst nightmare. But with this guy, he knows how to handle me without making me feel like an idiot..He knows how to turn my hatred to love. Sheeshh..Am not suppose to say this things..Trust me..In few minutes time i'll be having feelings like..How i wish someone would burn down his house and all..Which is soo sick.

I know there will be lots of people who read this will feel like they want to kick me on my ass and says

"Kau ni buta ke bodoh chics??"

Tapi tu la..Aku memang sengal sket..
I just dunno what to do..

+I hate you
But I love You
I can't stop thinking of You+

My dad is going to Jakarta tomorrow to work.It's either tomorrow or next week.And he's not well recover yet.

And to him..

Now that I've lost everything to you,
you say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart, you're leavin', baby I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

To both guys who are so significant in my life,
Whatever you do
Take a good care of yourself.

Isn't life great?

Got Milk?

Yesterday my friend, spentot brought me out. The exact plan was actually to watch a movie but after seeing my gloomy face he instead, brought me to eat at masak-masak. Nice place.[ Tengok aku dah promote tempat kawan kau]

On the way there, we talked about lots of things including his allergies to milk. He couldn't consume milk, if he did he'll have diarrhoea and will spend the whole day sitting in the toilet. Hahahahha..Klaka tak? Me on the other way, is a fan of milk but fresh milk please. When I was a little gurl, during my primary years there used to be Indian man in his motorbike rounding my neighbourhood with a huge stock of fresh milk every tuesday. I and my brother will wait for him everyday to buy the milk. I can't recall how much it was but it tasted yummy. Before drinking the milk, my mom will boiled it until there's one 'fat' layer emerged on top of , which later will menjadi rebutan between my brother and me. The taste? So milky..and yummy.. I still waited for that uncle but he never turned these days.

That dear friend of mine also told me that back in France,milk ingestion were being promoted everywhere on the telly and newspapers. You will even see old people drinking milk everywhere. I don't know whether u are fan of abroad chic magazine or not but if you are, you will notice milk ads where they used celebrity to promote the drinking of milk. I think I saw Jessica Alba, Britney Spears and Carson Daly on the ad saying "Got milk?" with some milk blot on their mouth. Quite cute. Not like Malaysia, carbonated drinks or coffee are being widely promoted compare to milk..and what surprise me when I go balik kampung is..mothers feed small toddlers with coffee..Oh my, I know this is not a sin tapi give them a break..derang budak2 lagi..nanti derang dah besa, they can glued to the coffee kan..

Anyway, what am I babbling about? Oh, my point is specially dedicated to that friend..Hhahaahha..macho je lebih tapi minum susu, cirit. :P

P.S:I found this while browsing, to me it's hillarious. Bongokla die ni.

Fixing A Broken Heart

*Note:Another psycho entry

How to fix a broken heart? Well, after doing some thinking I manage to list down few things.

1. Get out with friends.
2. Get out with guy friends
3. Chuck all things that can remind me of him (except the phone..hoho)
4. Stop listening to soapy songs.
5. Flirt!
6. Think about all the bad time together..and his flaw
7. Picture me marrying somebody else and getting married in a big event..maybe married to some wealthy
people rather than anak of guru besar
8. Picture much more bigger diamond for my engagement and wedding ring
9. Just be strong,I worth more than that.
10. Go to Australia!!!
11. ..................................[Fill in the blanks for chics]

Hmm..I am turning to be a good liar.Good.If only my heart could speak, I'm sure they'll remain mute coz..they are already shattering..

Like Pauline say "Go to hell and make sure they burn you good"


P.S: To whom it may concern, saba sket je lagi..then u can ask me that question ;)
***************************************************************************************************************8
Added:

It's 7.30 p.m and guess what?i'm still in the office.

Oh well, could i be more pathetic??

New Phone

Yeyeyeyeye..I got my self a new handphone. It's Nokia 7610.Well..i've been using my 3210 for more than 3 years..so i guess it's time for change.

I love the phone. The design is chic,and the colour..it's red (Uh, i likee) . Can do lots of thing with it including..video recording for 10 mins.Well..lots of function..There's only one thing that i don't satisfied..it does not come with any game. Gotta download it.*frown*

Actually, someone bought it for me. I dunno..tapi mcm ade unsur- unsur untuk memujukla jugakkan..Takpele,pandai dia pujuk..hehehe..

All I can say is..Thank You.
I really love it.



My new Love..Awww



+Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times+

Me being a kampung gurl.

Watched PGL for the second time yesterday. Oh yeah, sue me I don't care but I love that movie. In fact I love malay movie.Just name it I probably had watched most of them excluding Yusuf haslam's lah.

U know..I might look like a modern type of gurl.I wear whatsoever ever urban gurl wear, I go clubbing and had more than 10 piercing on my body but ehe..deep down inside I think I am a kampung girl. Not to say in mentality wise but more to soul wise.(What crap am I talking?)

My past time hobby at home is cooking. What do I usually cook? Masak lemak cili padi..soto..nasik ayam..masak kurma.. and the list go on..and if I happen to be free on the evening, I like to bake kuih,like karipap or kuih cara. Then I like to invite frens for makan2..Even when I stayed with friends during my uni years, I'll happily be the chef. I like it..going to pasar and got to choose what to buy..Thinking of it makes me excited already.Also, I eat all sorts of ulam..u name it, I'll take it.I like budu and tempoyak also..the one thing I can't tolerate is durian..as in the fruit sbb..tahh..kalau makan rase nak muntah. But yg lain2..seme sebat.Oh..and my fav restaurant..no, it's not chilis, not piccolo mondo but..sundanese..yummy..the sambal blacan and snapper is sooo irresistible.Nasik jugak yg best..

I dunno why but some girls back in Uni have issues with me wearing baju kurung. Whenever I wear baju kurung they will come to me and shake my hand saying
"selamat hari raya, chics".
Ehe..Wha's the problem? I may dress modern everyday but that doesn't mean that girls like me dun know how to wear baju kurung. In fact I have more collection of baju kurung compare to some people..And I'm proud to say that..i feel comfortable wearing baju kurung.It just, baju kurung..u dun have to be conscious how u would look like.When I told my friends, they sort of mock me..hehehe..Whateverla guys..Sukati akulakan aku nak pakai apa.

As my mom said..i am a kampung girl trapped in a modern body.Maybe what she said is true..tapi apsal makcik tu tak suke aku?Mungkinkah die a modern aunty trapped in a kampung lady body??

Thank You

Ayah is recovering.He's back at home now.I promised despite rainy days that come toward me i will never let him see me frown again.

Well..well..If not because of my family and friends i won't be this strong. Until this time, my handphone can't stop ringing..my friends even called me at my office. I was flooded with SMS and massages on my messenger. I just don't know what to say.. There's no word to describe how grateful i am.It's good to know that you have a lot of people who care about you when you are in need.

To all my friends especially to Nik Yatiey, Jumaat aka Spentot (dun ask me why his name is like that, ok?), Nikkit, Umi and lots more that i tak larat nak type semua and ofcourse not forgetting my bloggers frens :), Thank You so much.I love u all.Muahhhhsssss!!!

+I'll be there for you
when the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'cause you're there for me too...+

Spite

I'm back to work and feel happier today even the stupid parking machine just won't accept my coins.I'm just happy..so farlah..

U know I think I had turn to be a bitch. I mean not as sleeping around but my attitude is bitchy.

Venue:Sunway Pyramid.

He:Oh my, this place is packed with Sunway college students.
Me:Hey , U know I nearly went there..and if I did..we probably won't know each other.
He:Nahh, u never know.I might go there too.
Me:*giving him alook*Oh no, u can't go to sunway college.It's a kafir college.Banyak pompuan sana kuku panjang and takde kening..I bet your mum won't be happy.Tsk..tsk..U don't want to hurt your mom don't u?
He:*shut up*

I know..that's mean..but somehow ehe..i feel better. I know being spiteful is not the exact way to solve problems but I just can't help it..i mean..apa salah aku??Aku sayang kau, jaga kau baik2..salah ke tu?Anyway, next time i will try my best to hold my tongue.
And I did ask him if he's mad . He said..

"I understand why u are being so rude to me"

Hohoho..as if..

What will happen?

I am at home again.Yeah...call me weak or whatever but i need time to be alone. My dad is getting better.Syukur to that.He is now being transferred to normal ward.No more ICU.That's good.Nothing could express my gratitude.

I manage to track yamyam.Only God knows how much I missed him..but u know what..the feeling changed.I thought that when I saw him I would cry and let him comfort me but I only smiled at him.And when he hold me,i felt..empty.What is this feeling??We talked..and again we ended at the same spot where we left.He walked away and left me with 'the-tak-puas-ati' feeling.

During my black days for this past few weeks, there is someone who had stood beside me when i needed somebody.I knew him for quite long time. He did all the best he could.I was flattered with what he did to me.I did not want to interprate signs that has been delivered to me.It's hard to trust anyone when everything went wrong..and when the special someone who u give your heart to,turns your back around u.All I can say is..I am flattered and really appreciate what he had done for me.

Yamyam will be going for his 6 months course next month, means we will spent less time and i probobly won't be seeing him for quite a long time.He would leave me on a bad time when our relationship is shaky.I have been through this time before, with my ex..and i definetely know what will happen.The things is..I'm not ready to face te consiquences.

Dear reader, please teach me what to do..and perhaps to love again??

Dad..

It's 2.45 p.m.I haven't had any seep since last night.The reason is..I can't.My dearest father had been admitted to ICU coz he got a heart attack last night.Around 3 mom woke me up and i drove like a mad girl to the nearest hospital, Selangor Medical Centre.The dr said my dad condition was bad.His heart beat was very weak and was nearly to nothing.But u know what, that private hospital was so fucking inconsiderate. They insisted us to pay the deposit of RM 3.5 K before they can allow my father to be admitted to that ICU even though his condition was serious. Not that we don't have the money but it's 3 a.m in the morning!!At that moment, my mom only had 2 K with her so she insisted them to accept it but still they refuse. Then i said something like

"If u don't do it, i'll write about this in the newspaper"..and Thank God, they immedietely bring my father to ICU.

Before that happen, I had a tensed conversation with yamyam.I told him that i shall move on and find another guy.We argued and yelled to each other.It was bad.After that cnversation i failed to track him eventhough he is the person who i really need the most at this moment.I was suppose to go for a party after that but i felt bad and decided not to.I tried calling him, to tell him i want to meet him and that i missed him so much but did not succeed.Luckily, i didn't go to that party or else, i don't know what will happen to my father.

My father live a healthy life. He ate lots of veggie and went jogging almost everyday. i know what happened to him last night was my fault. If only i pretend that i'm happy he would not feel miserable. He was buying me a pizza to cheer me up but being and ungrateful daughter, i let him ate alone.He is suppose to leave for Dubai this becoming Friday, but i guess..he would only be sitting in the hospital instead.

If anything happen to my father, i won't be able to forgive my self..

and yayang,i'm so sorry..i know i am wrong but please..call me..coz i really need you at this moment.Please..

Berhenti Berharap

Berhenti Berharap
Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar disini
Tersudut menunggu mati

Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Yang dulu mampu terangi
Sudut gelap hati ini

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampe nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan

Aku pulang....
Tanpa dendam....
Ku terima...
kekalahanku...
Aku pulang...
Tanpa dendam...
Kusalut kan ..
kemenanganmu...

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku derita
Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita..


Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat..

Lyn made me listen to this song.It's so..made it through my heart. She said she's been hearing this song since the day she got dumped.It's sad..yes i know but i told Lyn that she should chuck away this type of song. I told her to listen to gurl power type of song instead. I even made her to see the guy who has been wooing on her.

I choose to move on and try not to think of what had happen. When i told Lisa about my story, she said if she was in my shoes she would commit suicide. Well, if life is so easy..I think everybody would do that. Why would i commit suicide? I have my parents and my friends who really care about me so much. Yesterday i was so touch when Dila told me, that Yip who now is in UK told her to take a good care of me. And my mom..Even we fought like..almost of the time, but she did really give her best support..she even cried along with me when i told her that how much i missed him and how i wish he would be man.

I will stop hoping and move on. My life is not only about him. There is alot of beautiful things out there waiting to be unfold. I shall not wait for him and stop wishing that he would be a man but if he did..i will always be here for him.

Moveeeee

Hhohhohoho.Aku kat ofis skarang.Obviously dgn mata bengkak. Hari ni bile aku masuk office takde sape nak tegur aku..pasal muka aku mcm orang baru mati laki..Oh..which is so true.

So tell me.Apa aku nak buat dgn hidup aku skrang?I have to replan everything in my life.Ok, i've started dating someone already.Oppss..siapa yg kata too fast tu?Kau ingat aku tak denga ye??Then , if i don't do that..what am i suppose to do?Wait for that fuckering faggot? I dun think so.I also..dyed my hair black..bought a new retro looking spec and hahaha..cut my fingernails. Makcik..SAYA DAH POTONG KUKU..er..enuff of that.I tell you, aku gile nampak lain skrang.Nampak mcm orang lost..or identity crisis is more like it.Hhahahahaha

Tell me..tell me la..what the hell am i suppose to do today?Pauline si kecoh tu tak dtg..takde sape nak menceriakan hari2 aku..sob..sob.Nak buat keje macam malas gile.Aku rasa nak amik mclah pasal mata aku mcm merah semacam je..hahaha..best tak alasan?? Tapi takpe..hari ni nak tgk PGL lagi..I love that movie.Hari tu tgk dgn faggot tapi hari ni tgk dgn org lain.Yeyeye..I dunno why but somehow hang tuah in that movie remind me of my ex sbb hang tuah dlm tu bongok.Nama je hang tuah tapi hehe..mcm takde telur-->ni mak aku yg cakap..lelaki mcm tu takde telur.

U know what i am going to do?I am going to move on..and yeah.. i'm definetely going for cute-looking-super duper rich guy after this.

Tak mainla orang kampung.

p.s: i obviously trying too hard here,but i dun give a fuck.

Faggot

Have you ever face a situation when you nearly get something that you really want but then it just slipped away in a blink?Well..Tell me more about it.

I just lost the person that is so significant in my life.I love him with all my heart..i love him so much. All i did to him was shower him with my love, give all the confident and give all the best i have to him but i guess my appearance blinded everyone else. Just because i'm modernly dress, just because i am not pretentious his parents refused to come up to my parents eventhough there was a promised made. The reason that the parents can't accept me was..coz i have long finger nails and my eyebrow are neatly plucked.What the fuck??

To me it was only excuses. I thought my guy would stand for me but he was not strong enough. Eventhough he cried over the phone saying how much he loved me and all but..he has no guts to do anything.

My parents in other hand is so supportive. Eventhough my dad was smartly dressed waiting for his parents to come and at the end they did not but after that he pretended like nothing happen. And my mum made it look like she cooked everything as if she was cooking for all of us instead of for some guest who were supposed to come.It killed me so much to see them like that..

All i did for this past few days was crying. I just can't beleive what had happen. And today, even though it's a working day i'm sitting at home, typing and try to think what had i done wrong. Maybe i love him sooo much and that's a sin. Maybe i should not have forgive him for all the bad things that he had done to me before.

Samsul Kahar,
I understand your situation. I just hope you would stand out for what you want instead of being a coward. A faggot. Don't worry, you don't need to do anything.Instead i will. I hope your parents will be happy coz i'm going away soon.Away from home and away from you.I wish you all the best and please, dun try to fall in love with any gurl anymore, knowing that your mum will never approved them. Just listen to your mother as you always did.

Don't ask me what am i going to do with my life because from now on..there's no more us. It's just me..and my self.