Fuck

Oh God. Something happened last night. I thought it was nothing.


This morning I woke up I feel weird.


Just got back from seeing the doctor.


He is sending me to the hospital.


Fuck!


Later.

Quick updates

1. Due to lacking self consciousness, my face is full of zits. Ugly zits. They hurts too, they are hurting my face and hurting my heart. Ha!




2. My eye bags are getting bigger and I look cuter than panda, thanks to my dark circle around my eyes. Anybody want to adopt a panda? :P




3. I now weight 34 kg, more heavier than a kambing. What's more pathetic, all my sarung nangka skirts had made me seen as if I am competing for acara berlari dalam guni whenever I wear them.




4. I walked passed a barcode which is located in the same building as my office. Barcode's door is made of glass so you can see your reflection and I can see my butt.Oh my.Bontotku sudah lenyap. Damn. No, I don't have any pic's of my bontot yang telah lenyap.




5. I had forgiven my ex, the one who forgot where he put his balls.





6. I'm still considering about the Jakarta trip this January. Jakarta, Bandung, Bali..sound tempting but my workloads are piling up.




7. Found my lost stila lipstick, along with a pot of rouge, an eyeshadow brush and my dongle. They are all for all this while crying under my bed. Poor babies, they must be damn scared under that murky place.




8. Oh, I also found my long lost feng shui ring. Used to wear it on my other finger but now had to wear it on my index finger. I am waiting for my luck to come. Hoho




9. Am spying on a fabulous shoes, will get it next month. Me likeyy.




10. Fire..fire..someone is playing with fire.Tempting but bahayaaaaaaa. [rhyme tak?:P]
    
    

Racist

Somewhere last week, my office had a Christmas party. We had turkey and pizza. Being the only one muslim, I was a bit reluctant to eat the turkey. Not because of the turkey shape or whatever but I was having doubts about the status of the turkey. Semebelih ke tak, siapa masakla..pakai minyak apa hu?Oven tu ada ke orang tu buat masak binatang-binatang lain?Euww. But I had my share anyway with the stuffing and cranberry sauce. The stuffing tasted funny though, it tasted like kapur barus. Don't asked me how kapur barus taste but I just know.


Anyway, we had 3 new colleagues and one of them is Indian, who sat beside me. I used to tilt my head up from my cubicle and talked to my neighbour Nicole who is kind of cool and love to gossip and talked craps like but now that didn't happen anymore.Nicole moved to other place already. I don't have anything against her or her race really but there's one thing she said made me not talking to her.


During the Christmas party I was telling my colleagues that I never had a real turkey except for turkey ham. And why the hell should I need a whole turkey for?Buat turkey masak lemak? Then the new colleague was telling me a story.


"You know, few years back my family invited some of our neighbours for Christmas party including the Malays. So we had turkey and all. We serve the turkey to the makciklah but they are so weird, you see. They asked for sambal belacan to eat with the turkey! I was thinking what kind of people eat turkey with sambal belacan and where to get sambal belacan at that time?" Oh, she was snorting when she said this and mind you, we had no alcoholic drinks coz eheh..everybody sort of respect me.


I was thinking to say something nasty because I was offended instead I just stared at her face and continued typing. No. No, shall not start a bitch fight at the office.


I mean hello, at the first place if they are that type of Malay, they wouldn't even come to the Christmast party.Ape ke jadah nak sambut Christmast? And what's wrong wanting sambal with turkey? Aku suke je sambal belacan. At least we are proud of who we are. The Malays who eat sambal. What's wrong with that? You bloody tell melah!


I was angry not because I was ashamed that my race asked for sambal belacan to eat with turkey. Not at all. But I was angry because I simply hate racist.


Tengok..pagi-pagi dah emo..
Sheesh

Mamak marketing

It's raining..and I'm working. The office is 3/4 empty but I'm sitting on my desk thinking wouldn't it be nice to snuggle under my blanket at this moment.


Not going to happen, I know. Instead I have to pretend to be busy today. Hah!


Nway, last weekend, I was checking the mailbox [manala tau ada orang nak kasik surat dekat aku.Haha]only to find a flyer from a mamak stall. The thing is they stated EPL schedule which is not a big thing. Ni tapinye siap buat macam intisari rancangan. Hari sekian-sekian nak tayang sape lawan sape. I was sengih-sengih while reading the advert."Big Screen TV".It was not the cheap kind of flyers. Was made from some expensive hard paper, full coloured. Stok kalau kene hujan, masuk dalam longkang, gerenti tak basah.


Gigih sungguh mamak itu.


Then my bro told me about another mamak stall which is a supporter for Liverpool. Siapa masa game datang pakai jersey Liverpool, nanti dapat teh ais free. Haha, gile best.


Keji betul marketing diorang ni.


Nasib baikla rumah aku ada astro, tayah gi mamak.


Eceh, macamlah tengok bola pon.


Poyo.

Meow meow MJ

You know one thing make me wondering is my cat M.J[Bukan Micheal Jackson ok]. Usually she is the social butterfly. She will go out and go lepaking and she will only return when it's dark or she will have some sleepover somewhere else. Very stubborn cat she is, everytime when I want to manja with her and call her to my lap, she will throw me the 'eksyen' look and walk away or pretend that she's busy licking her fur.But the lemak-ness smell of her perut make me want her more.


But recently something miracle happened. She didn't even get out at all since Hari Raya. All she did was sit at home and she even jump to my lap, purring. Then guling-guling her body, allowing me to kiss her yummy perut.No more eksyen- eksyen. God, I sooo love her.


What happenlah? After thinking so hard I made my own conclusion. Perhaps in the cat's society they have this thing like human. You know like badan polis, badan bomba and all sorts of pekerjaanlah.I mean they have their own bureaucracy. So I suspected that my M.J had committed a crime that she is now wanted by the police of cats. It's like in human lifelah, if you commit a crime you wouldn't want to go out in case the police find you and also you will feel insecure . That's explain why she wants to manja-manja with me so much.


Revelent ke tak relevent?


Whatever it is M.J. Kakak loves you sooooooooooo much. Please don't leave kakak alone.


Nanti kita main guling-guling lagi ok?


To all my human friends, Merry Christmast and Happy Holiday!

The garang makcik

When the clock strike 2.30, everyday I would go to the basement to perform my zuhur prayer. There's nothing interesting to be seen around that area. The condition of the surau is nothing to be proud of and the people there talked too loud even when there is somebody else performing their prayer. Yet, there is something that I look forward to.


There is this makcik. She has a very garang face but cute to me coz her face resembles to an exotic breed of cat which I like so much. Also, her face reminds me of someone I adore. The thing is with this makcik she loves to give me a stare. I dunno whether there is something wrong with me or it's her nature that she loves to stare [perhaps there's something wrong with melah kot sbb die takde pon stare orang lain].


Apa salah saya makcik?


She would stare at me from my first step into the surau until I folded my sejadah. The thing is we always pray side by side. I always choose to pray next to her or it's the other way around. She even stares while I was performing my prayer. Ye, Nampak macam aku tak kusyu' but it was so damn obviouslah ok. Sampai senget-senget kepala dia.


But you know what? I like her. For no reason. I really like her. I mean she never open her mouth, she never smile but she never waste any time lepaking in the surau. She just stare, pray, folded her telekung and sejadah , stare again, comb her hair, put some facial product, stare and left.


Never at once I saw her smile. I always find the opportunity to smile to her. Talking to her would be something. But how to do so when each time I tried to make eye contact, she would look at some other direction.


And yesterday, on my way to take my wudhu' I passed her by. I looked straight into her eyes and smiled.


To my surprise, she smiled back. Even it doesn't really looked like a proper smile but still her lips tilted up, creating a beautiful smile.


She made my day.
Just as simple as that.

Perempuan- perempuan bodoh

From far I could see someone with tudung in my house yard. Even though it is almost 1 year we didn't see each other but her posture still stay vividly in my mind. Since I was fasting I asked her to stay for dinner.


"Why didn't you call, like always?"
"Saje nak jumpa kau.Lama tak jumpa"


After eating my pair of eyes met her eyes. "So what's up, you must have something important to tell me or else you won't be on my doorstep"


"I came to you because I know you won't judge me and you won't say anything hurtful". With that she shows me an ugly bruise on her porcelain arm. Revolting. I staggered.


"He did that to you? He shouldn't have, he has no right to hit you".
"I know but he apologized. Please don't say anything bad about him. Whatever happens he is the one I chose to spend my life with"


I frowned. Other people would probably let out spiteful cursing to see one of their close friends in that condition but just say that I understand her feeling. Or perhaps I know how does it feel to be in her shoes. Not as in exact way but alike. Saying nasty thing about her loved ones wouldn't help, it will only hurt her more.


"Perempuan bodoh" I said to her.
"Hah, engkau pon sama"


With that we laughed as if nothing happened.


Some women were educated up to the highest level but somehow because of 4 magic letters they become injudicious.


It's not that they can't think clearly. They understand that they are not supposed to be treated that way but to them, ah..come what may, I can still handle it. I rather be hurt physically rather than emotionally.


Come what may.


Foolish. The heart is still breathing even though there would be thousands bruises. The feeling is still blooming even though there would be thousands of words that stabbed like sharp knives. Despite the ache, that single name would not be missed in every single prayer, hoping God will bless him with best things He could offer.


As a friend who loved her with full of my heart, I should have advice her to do the right thing but who am I to say when at the end of the day she is the one who is going to make the decision, she is the one who wants to live her life.


"He shouldn't do that to you"


She sighed. Perhaps saying I know.


"I love him"


I smiled.
I know my friend,
I so know.

Casting

Hi.Nama saya chics. Beberapa hari yang lepas saya mendapat panggilan telefon dari seorang kawan. Dia menyuruh saya pergi casting sebagai host bagi satu rancangan yang diterbitkan oleh syarikat abangnya. Mungkin kawan saya itu sudah hilang akal walaupun ini bukan kalii pertama dia menyuruh saya berbuat demikian. Tentulah saya tidak mahu kerana saya tidak mahu memperkotak-katikkan diri sendiri di khalayak ramai. Lagi pun saya tidak ada muka commercial, muka saya adalah lebih kearah kejawaan [oh, mungkin itu rancangan untuk org jawa]. Saya tidak mahu dikeji oleh masyarakat tambahan pula saya tidak pandai bercakap benda-benda yang berinformasi tetapi kalau ada kuiz yang berunsur keji mungkin saya agak bijak.


Mungkin anda semua pernah pergi jalan-jalan di shopping mall dan disapa oleh amoi cina dari advertising agency. Kadang-kadang amoi itu memakai skirt pendek tetpai kalau anda kurang bernasib baik, mereka akan pakai jeans. Mereka akan tulis nama dan amik no telefon. Beberapa hari kemudian, mereka akan call dan cakap anda terpilih untuk menjadi talent company mereka.Taaapiii..kene bayar macam-macam, kene beli kasut putihla..set mekap entah hape brandla..bla..bla..


Kejilah.Dahla nak suruh aku datang, lepas tu nak suruh aku bayar pulak.ceh


Tapi sebenarnya saya pernah pegi casting. Sewaktu itu umur saya 23 tahun, saya masih lagi gebu pada waktu itu[haha]. Tujuan asal kami ialah untuk memonteng kelas Software Engineering dan pergi berpoye-poye di Midveli. Tetapi salah seorang housemate saya tiba-tiba teringat yang dia sepatutnya menghadiri casting hari itu. Maka kami serumah pon pergi bersama menemaninya ke production house yang terbabit. Saya tak ingat sangat tempat itu sebab saya asyik memikirkan tenpayakki yang sedap di midveli. Dalam kesibukan saya mengoncentrate, housemate saya itu keluar dari bilik rakaman dan berjalan kearah saya.


"Brader tu suruh kau masukla"
"Tanakla, tak retila aku.Gile ape"
"Pegi jela bodo"


Abang India itu telah mula memanggil, dengan lemah saya pergi sebab housemate saya itu sudah bising. Lagipun kami menumpang teduh kereta dia, saya tidak mahu disuruh berjalan ke Midveli dengan skirt ala-ala ikan duyung itu.


Mula-mula dia berkata mereka sedang casting untuk iklan MTV. Wah, jadi Donita Roselah aku[haha]. Tetapi setelah dia meneliti saya dia berkata saya lebih sesuai berlakon iklan kereta untuk pasaran India. Apakahhhhhh maksud kata-kata abang itu? Kalau saya memikirkan sedalam-dalamnya mungkin saya akan berasa marah jadi saya buat- buat tak faham sahaja.


Saya telah disuruh supaya berlakon seperti baru keluar dari kereta dan tiba-tiba diserang oleh seorang lelaki yang tidak dikenali. Jadi saya harus berpura-pura takut. Saya pun dengan bersungguh-sungguh berpura-pura takut bercampur malas. Abang itu berkata saya kurang penghayatan lalu dia menyuruh saya buat semula tetapi kali ini dengan bantuannya.


Oh, part ini sangatlah seram. Saya memang betul-betul takut bila abang itu datang kearah saya dengan lagak ala-ala padayappa dan muka yang sangatlah keji. Saya menjerit ketakutan apabila dia mendepakan tangannya kearah saya. Bulu-bulu yang tebal jelas kelihatan di kedua-dua belah tangannya..Dan apabila abang itu semakin hampir.. selebihnya saya tak ingat. Samada saya menangis atau abang itu berundur kerana ditendang oleh saya..


Tidak. Saya tidak dapat part itu.
Saya tak rela ternoda oleh abang berbulu


Dah pegi buat keje.Makaseh.

Say my name!

Someone told me that his friend is getting married to one of my senior. The thing is I can't recall her face even though her name is very familiar but adela dekat 4 orang yang nama sama macam tu. Curiosity kills the cat, nak-nak orang macam aku.So last night I flipped through my school magazine. I think I found her and I also found another thing. There was this senior who called herself, Md.Jovi, for her love for Bon Jovi is undeniable. Lawak gile k siap posing seme. She's just like her name. Rock gile.She's my dormate cum my leader for buat duty hari Ahad. Usually the leader will be the dictator, but it's a diff story with her.


"Ala, kita buat sikit-sikit jelah. Lepas ni kau ikutla aku melepak mana-mana. Aku malas nak naik atas.Loker aku tak kemas lagi" Hahaha.Cool gile.


Md. Jovi is only an example. There are few other weird names. But back then it was not weird, it was kinda cool [haha]. Usually you are given the name by your seniors or by your friends. Like me, I hated my name back then but as a helpless junior, kalau kau nak mati cakapla kau tak suka.Hehe. Until today, on meeting my juniors, I still cringe whenever they call me that name.


So, what kind of names?They are few categories. The initial categories. For example, if your name is..
- Khairul Bariah --->K.B
- Nurul Faizaa---> N.F
Well, actually this is common.


The 'que' category. For example, is your name is..
- Yati --->Yatorque [yatork]
- Liza--->Lizerque [lizerk]
- Zara--->Zareque [zareque]


Then come the 'otte' category. For example, if your name is..
- Shikin ---> Shikotte [shikot] tapi ada sorang ni jela, nama dia shikin tapi jadi Nikkit.
- Ida--->Idotte [Idot]
- Syida--->Syidotte [syidotte]


I dunno where the creativity came from. But oklah, atleast adala kaitan jugakkan. There is also cases where nama diberi tanpa mempunyai hubungan lansung with the real name. For examples there's this junior of mine. We called her "betik".


Kesian kau kan betik. Sedap-sedap mak kau bagi nama, jadi buah-buahan kau akhirnya. Iskh..Iskh..


That's not so bad. Amir once told me that They had a friend named "takuk dalam"


Kejam gile..



p/s:Betik, kalau kau baca, kau jangan marah la ye.Hehehe

Beep

Chics in not available.


Preserving herself.
Just leave a note.


Tq.

Mow Leng Loi

Yeay, it's Friday. I am happy because at least for the first time in few weeks I will have something to do for the weekends. Tonight, me and nicky will be driving to Melaka. Bena is getting married.Like..MARRIED!!!


Ok, I'm sad coz after this I can't grope Bena anymore, probably Amin won't let us. [Amin sangatla garang, dia selalu marah aku].Oh shit, now when I think think of it, I also won't have any chance to grope and manja-manja with nik yang sangat nyam-nyam itu. Which is so saaaaad.


Damn. Malam ini aku harus mengambil kesempatan habis-habisan.Haha!


Back to bena's wedding, since the wedding will be attended by some people who I seldom met, I think it's a sin to let people see me in my most shattered situation. Especially my hair,which now look like a broom which belong to some witch. So yesterday I went to get it cut.


Hairdresser:What kind of style u want?
Me: Anythinglah, as long as I look cute.Hihihi.
Hairdresser: Oklorrr, we wash first.


With that I took off my glasses and never put it on until he finished his job.


In the midst of the cutting session he told me what he was doing with my hair and whether I could see the difference. Aku macam..hello..power aku 800, muka kau upon aku tak nampak, k. But I just give my femes sengih-sengih and say "Yah, ok..ok..".Bla..bla..bla..Finally he finished cutting my hair.


I put on my spec


Gile keji. Sekarang muka aku series macam amoi karaoke.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!