Ternoda

I spent my weekend with Nik. She arrived around 11 and she had to listen to my mom's talking. Around 1 a.m we headed to uptown. She eat chicken chop and I only have 1 packet of cigarettes.

Then we went for shopping. Imagine shopping at uptown. What did I get? Seluar cerut2 for RM 38 and a shawl for..10 ringgit!! Bapak the murah ok..And Nik was like..crazy.She bought like..2 seluar..2 t-shirt and a shawl.Met Kak Ezza there..and she 'complimented' that I am getting fatter. Oh she also asked me why do I look like..shit..Not only herla but nana wafa and gerek also asked me the same question.Heshh..kenapa bile aku slekeh2 mestila jumpa orang2 yg aku kenal..ramai plak tu..

Around 4 a.m..I had to drag Nik home coz I'm so sleepy. On our way to her car a motorcycle came along. The driver drove his vehicle near me. Seeing that the machine will probably knock me down I dodged a bit. U know what the bloody hell backseat passenger did ? As soon as they approached me he stretches out his hand and groped me. Well, since I dodged earlier he just managed to grab my arms instead of 'other' thing. It left red marks on my arm..Sakitt tau tak??Busuk punye orang!!

The moral of the story is..If you have any child..make sure you educate them well..So takdelah die besa nanti,pantang jumpa pompuan je nak meraba!!Terasa sungguh ternoda aku..iskh..iskh

Spill..ed

Okay.So i finally did spilled what i've been holding inside to mom. About what i felt and also about what he felt. About our situation and about the pressure that we are bearing. I thought it would be good to let her know how we feel.Instead it feel even worst.

She sound frusfurated and i feel bad. Really bad.
"Fine, i won't be mentioning about that thing after this.I will just keep my mouth shut"

I really yearn to hear her say those words actually, but when she finally did..I wish i never mentioned anything to her. I wish i would just keep it to myself and let it hurt me instead of hurting her.

I feel like crying at this moment. And it become worst when he didn't understand how am i feeling..When i know he won't do anything about this.

Mak, i'm so sorry.I promise that thing will happen..soon.

Please dun cry anymore.

+Its never between her and you.It's always her+

Stress is...

Stress is when mom keeps nagging me about when are yamyam's parents coming.
Stress is when me and my mom don' talk to each other anymore because of that.
Stress is when yamyam did nothing about it.
Stress is when my parents won't accept the excuse of me being young and not ready for commitment.
Stress is when I actually don't want to get married...yet.
Stress is when I had to abide my parents saying coz my dad is going away for two years.
Stress is when my future are being arranged by somebody else.
Stress is when I started to hate my job.
Stress is when you work in job agency but you can't try out for any job offered.
Stress is when I feel like killing myself but I know I can't
Stress is when you're stuck and there's nothing that you can do about it.

Cheapskate

I love bargains especially during sales but there are something that we can't bargain. Let say on special occasion such as birthday, if that person really means a lot to me I wouldn't mind splurging some money just to get that person something that he or she really like, even it cost me a fortune. To me seeing the expression on that person face is priceless and..since I really adore that person..why not??

Fine, I am a material girl. I drool over designer's gear but that does not mean that I don't own anything with cap tiga ayam label on it. If I'm in love with something I will work my ass and my brains out to get it, no matter long how it takes. And no that does not take account of loaning money from people or stealing (or even selling myself..hehe). In my opinion (bear in mind..it's only my opinion) spending money for something silly is not a sin because we human live only once. Ok..Maybe what they say bout me is true. I am one spoiled little brat who snob around but do I give a damn?? Noooooooooo

Therefore, I can't accept cheapskate. It's true about people saying something like "buy things that you can afford." If you think u can't afford it..DUN EVEN THINK OF HAVING IT AT THE FIRST PLACE.Geddit??

He..pening tak baca?Mesti korang tak paham ape motif aku tulis ni..tapi takpe..asalkan aku paham kire ok..and I do feel good sbb dapat meluahkan rasa hati..hehe..

JAIS

Went to KLCC for a window shopping. Dined at chilli's and went to Kinokuniya. Yamyam as usual glued to his travel section and me wondered around looking for I dunno what. Perhaps books with colourful pictures or anything that was entertaining to read while waiting for my bf to do his own searching. I just love that book store.Not just that book store but I love spending my time at bookstores. Maybe some people find it weird but I can't help it.

Since we were there till that place closed their door for business so no more window shopping for me..No choice but headed back home. It seems that we have not had enough talking to do so yamyam have to round2 satu shah alam so we can take all the time we want. 1 hour later he drove me at in front of my house since satu shah alam dah habis dirouding. Still..I can't let him go so we borak-borak some more. Parking in front of my house or in my house garage while we talk is something that we do like..almost everyday and my parents do realised that we are there.

But yesterday while we are talking..suddenly a JAIS van arrived. They stopped their van and torch at us using a very high beam torch light..Silau mata aku..Me looked at yamyam and he looked back at me.

"Alamak..JAIS la plak"

Obviously nampakla kan macam gelabah eventhough there's no body contact at all that time. I was wearing a short skirt, a sleeveless top and sneakers which people claimed that I look like budak skolah menengah in this outfit.Hee..Kalau aku kene naik van JAIS ni..tak ke aku kene bebel sbb pakai camtu? Before someone step out from the van and say something like

"Apa awak buat berdua-duan dlm kete ni?Bagi IC"

I grab my things and walk camly (konon2 nampak cam tak glabahla) towards my door without bidding proper goodbye to yamyam. Duit belanja pon terlupa nak amik..huk..huk..But I guess it's better than kene tangkap basah depan umah sendiri..heheh..

P.s://Check this out. Kalau camtu, aku pon nak demam panas.

Dah habis Demam?

I did not make it to the gym yesterday. U know why? It is because of my own-stupid-mistake.. I left my membership card at home. I was already at the parking lot when I realised that the bloody card is not with me. Aaaaaa..This is not the first time.. The last time was last week. Not that I forgot to bring my card but I forgot to bring my gym outfit. Smart eh? But at least, I can enjoy my time going for sauna and steam bath.. But yesterday.. No card means no workout, no sauna , no steam bath and no free 100 plus. Yeah, I'm careless and forgetful so sue me.

So I went home and ended watching channel 15 (Fine, I'm that pathetic). What amaze me , even the second season of the phenomenal AF has already ended they are still SMSes flooding through that channel. A user caught my attention.. His or her username is Ojah..Hahaha..A Mas fanatic. She kept talking craps and dunno what. I was busy watching the replayed show while reading SMSes, laughing at some of the responses at the same time when my mom joined me.

Mom:Huh..I dun like this Ojah( My mom also dun like Mas)

Me:Yeah..She's so fanatic but klaka jugak..mcm bongok je buang duit camni..

Mom:Hey, I have an idea..Apa kite SMS die and kutuk2 die dekat channel nak??

Me:Aaa??*Giving my mom a weird look*

Mom:Oh..And u know they are going to reshow the last concert at 1 a.m today.Jom tengok?

Me: I can't.I'm working tomorrow.

Mom:Ala..Takpela..Awak tidola bawah..sambil tengok sambil tidolaa

I laughed and walked upstairs to my bedroom

Mom:Naaa..oi..jomlaaa

Hehehe..She has wasted lots of money to vote and she is still on fever..Mak..mak..Orang sume dah habis demamla..

Sunshine and Rainbows

I See..Sunshine..Flowers..Birds..
Today is a lovely day.I'm in my high spirit..
The reason?No reason..
I decided to shove all stupid-things-that-bother me away.
Even a bitching-office-collegue also will have to pass..hehehe
*whisper*if u know who u are, i will feel even better.

But yesterday i was a bit angry.
I wish mum would never said those things to yamyam
i mean..we know where we are going..
He know what is his role..
Dun have to put him under pressure..
Demmit..sooner or later i have to get thru that phase
since mum had open her mouth..
and make me feel like dissapearing.

Let's go back to today's plan
Going to gym again..setelah 4 hari tak pergi
it's a motivation, u see
especially when i know my huge butt is getting smaller..
hehehe..
tak lama lagi..
no more fat ass chics..
no more people 'ejek'ing me..
heh..Gooood

Desperado

Ok, that's it..I desperately need a new job.
Can't stand this anymore.
But then to think again..
Sape yg nak amik aku keje as HR when i have sc.comp degree.
hahahaha..(ketawa terpaksa)

Luckily i went back yesterday
Best giller tido2 kat rumah
but hey, i missed AF
when i switched to channel 15..
there's no more zahid..
*frown*

And lucky me too
Me is going to se my yayang today..
Hip hip hoorayyy

Oi..aku nak kerja baru oii

Emo siall

Huarghhhh..
Pening..It's monday and boss takde
and aku pening..Nak muntah (No, it's not what you are thinking)
Pastu keje melambak2..Best betul..

Oh lupe..Zahid menang AF2..
Hehe dah agak dah..Tak sia-sia aku vote
pakai hp aku, henfon mak dan henfon yayang..
Yayang mmg menyirap habis..hahaha
Tula sape sroh ko nak kat aku
Tapi kenapa Farah tak dpt placing..
Walaupun die nampak mcm takde leher mlm tu
tapi she deserve to win..suara power

Urghh..
The new layout sux..
and i feel sick
Me wanna go home..
Need my nap..
but most of all, i need my yayang..

But that's not gonna happen
coz he's soo super duper bz today..
sob..sob

ok..time to stop being an emo biatch
aku nak balik skang..
tata

Always

"HAPPY BITRHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BITHDAY TO YAYANG

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU"

dear forever..

I wish you all the sweetest thing on this world on your 26th birthday,

Come what may, i will always be here with you..

Chics luv u baby!!muah!!muahZZ!!

Your Always

p.s: Convo photo is here.

Another birthday

Tomorrow is samsul kahar's birthday
He turns 26
Yes he is a leo..
Auummmm..roaaarrrrrr
but he don't scares me even though
i'm just a fish

I dunno what to buy him
Maybe i should buy him a tie and tie it around me
u know like julia robert in pretty woman..

That's all depends on what will happen today
Me is gonna meet his momma..today
Scary,,scary..
Luckily i'm wearing baju kurung
Thank God it's Friday..ahah


What am i talking about?
Dunno.

Lost, Found & Enid Blyton.

I'm so absent minded and disorganized.
Today I lost my stapler and my mechanical pencil.
Yesterday I lost my tape..but i bet it's is still somewhere in my room..
To think of it i must have lost like..hundreds of things a year..

When I was a little girl, I love to read Enid Blyton's book
No, not 7 sekawan..it's the other book..
No..It's also not the amelia jane's series..or malory tower series.
It's the one where few stories being compiled in one book.
One of the story is about a girl who keep loosing lots of things
So one day she met a fairy and asked for a spell so that all her belonging would come back.
The missing items did came back..But she was not happy
Coz those bloody things keep dancing and followed her everywhere she goes.
And as predicted, that girl learnt her lesson.
This story used to scared me to death..
I don't want anything to dance around me..

But now, since I'm convinced that I am brave enough to face with anything that can dance
Maybe i should peep somewhere on the garden to look for that fairy (that's how the girl in the book find 'her')
I really want all my things back..

Anyway, I still have my Enid Blyton's books and I still love to read them.

Convocated

Things that happens on chics' convo

• Yamyam turn up late to pick chics up .chics was thinking..kalau tau takleh amik awal,say so coz she can go by herself.
• Because of that chics reached the hall late, everybody is ready to line up and she havent got time to alter her bloody robe. She was also sweating like a pig result of walking too fast to catch up the time and her make up melted :( and her hair looked like shit. And ended screaming to her bf.
• Nazrin Shah presented the scroll..Groovy
• Chics can't locate her parents coz either she was too short or her parents duduk tah mana2.
• While on stage, chics keep clutching to her robe coz the blooody sach keep sliding down.
• Snap..snap..the photographer snapped her picture
• Later on chics saw that she actually looked fat and there was a scowl on her face. She don't looked good in the picture. Damn..How she wished that she should smile..
• When the ceremony finished, chics walked from the hall try to locate her luv and her parents but the first person that saw her and greeted her was her ex. He was there along with a big bouque of roses and lilies( her fav) for her.Chics was..agitated. How on the earth could he locate her when there's a flock of people walking around and there's barely a room to breath? It still remain a mystery until today.
• Yamyam presented roses with I love U ballon and a tedyy bear and her parents also got her a bouque of flowers.Chics was happy but she kinda..expecting it..hehe
• Her bf 'sfriends were there earlier to congratulate her but they went back since it was too hot.
• Chics and her bf reconcile and chics had forgotten that he halfly ruined her day.
• To make it up to her, her bf stay with her untill the next day..and yes, she was happy.

So, that was how chics' convo went..It can be concluded that..the day was ..ok..Photos will be updated later since her bf is not free to locate the adapter of the cable or something..

Loathe

I can endure lot's of things but not to people who simply talk but never do what they promised. I loathe janji-janji melayu.

Why did you promise when you know you can't fulfil it? And when the time arrive or I can't stand to hear your lies anymore, you will just give me some lame excuses or u did try to prove it but it only lasted for few weeks and things would go back to erstwhile. Nice huh? Do you think I can tolerate?

Not this time.

There are lots more of wonderful things in this world that await me besides you and that's a promise. And I know for sure..it's not a lie.

Playing Cupid

I knew him since I was still in my sweet 17 years. We just clicked hardly any hours meeting. Few months later we were officially an item. I spent almost 6 years with him. He taught me lots of things. Things that had sculptured me to be who I am today. We totally be au fait with each other. He was my shopping partner, gossip partner and even my sparing partner. He was my soulmate..My everything. I loved him so much, unconditionally that I gave up almost everything for him-my night life and even my friends. I though he was my first and definitely my last but I was wide of the mark. Something came up and we broke off. For me, things are not that gruelling for I managed to found a new hero straight away who truly loves me with all his heart but on his side it was vice versa. It was kind of heartbreaking to see someone you care, living a miserable life.No more warm smiles, no more infectious laughter..Just grief and sorrowness. Not that he couldn't grab any girl's attention but he always shunned them off. He said they're not his taste.He was looking for someone who is bubbly, with attitude and..he was looking for someone like..me.

At the same time, I know this girl, a friend of mine, also a suffering the same problem. She is lonely, practically spending all her days thinking and crying for his ex who went for another gurl. To me she is nice and come with a good look.Hence she is lonely..and single..So..why not?

Maybe it's hard to match someone that you used to love..with another gurl who is also your friend..but I'm willing to put my feeling aside.All I wanted is for him to be happy again..For him to laugh again..And for him to love again..I would do anything for his happiness..just like I used to be..

To my ex..Even though we live a separate life now but I wish you all the happiness in the world. Trust me..you too will be happy.Cheers to u.

Convo is Coming Up

2 days more to convo. No, I don't feel any excitement.In fact I don't feel like going. Maybe I should follow Noone style, just skip the convo thingy and just enjoy my leave day.

Why?Coz my robe sux. I am supposed to be wearing S size but when I arrived there last monday, the smallest size available was M. And it was not small, besar and labuh.I look like an American football player, The shoulder pad are way too bulky..In fact I look like an idiot in it.Big idiot. I know I'm supposed to go early to rebut for the robe but I had to meet up with some client that day and only manage to make myself available on the afternoon.

I am well known for my clumsy attitude..Tah2 nanti aku terpijak robe tu and terjatuh depan Nazrin Shah and everybody will laugh at my face. Oh..My robe is so big..Penat2 je aku tempah kebaya baru..what's the point when the stupid robe will cover up everything.Aku nampak mcm lemas je..And I bet I won't be getting any flowers coz my parents are bz sampai dlm minggu ni adela dlm 4/5 kali tanya when is the actual day and I bet dad forget to apply for leave since he's to workaholic to notice anything.My bf..Yeah..he's my only hope..If he happen to turn up la kann..

Demm..Should have not tell my parents about this damn convo thingy...
Agak2 kalau aku alter robe tu..ade org prasan tak?