somehow i can't seemed to forget few words that was uttered by a friend of mine..i try to perish them but they just wont go away.maybe the guilt ate me

friend:bebudak perempuan ni memang,kalau bf ade lupa dekat kawan,bile bf takde barula terhegeh-hegeh
carik kawan

me:opps..kau cakap pasal aku ke?

i have to admit it it's true but i have corrections to make..not only 'budak perempuan'(girls) but guys also seemed to get this syndrome.

it's true that during first two years i get attached with azam,i seemed to push my friends away..and from my observation i'm not the only one so blame it on circumtances.and after sometime when we settled down a bit..when the shing-shing is not that flaming hot i began to get bored and angry and start saying

"i want my life back!"

before my brain starts to work correctly i guess i was under some kind of spell..love potion no.9 maybe?i can't seem to think about something else but only him.my friends must be smirking their face at my bad attitude...i don't call them..i don't go out with them..i just..azam..duhhhhhhhhhh...thank god i'm now living a normal life again..my friends start calling me and we starts to chill out..the sisterhood is rebonding!!

the moral value:guys come and go but friends last forever!!

anyway..by writing this it doesn't mean that it's over between me and azam..no he's still my sweetie but somehow i feel relieve.maybe the spell is broken..may i have a peaceful night tonite..

i'm supposed to attend a meeting for reunion today but my athma and some fever put me on hold.I hate it when i'm sick..i shouldn't miss all the fun.but that's a lesson for a naughty girl!!

on wednesday i went to planet to chill out though i knew that i somekinda make a pact to exchange my clubbing life with sport but.hey it's ladies night and all my housemate were going!!i dun want to be left alone..as a result for inhaling too much hazardous smoke and singing all my lungs out not to mention all the sweat wasted for getting wasted on the dance floor..the next day i had a severe sore throat and then led me to today circumtances...tsk..tsk..also i missed pool session with my friends last night..:(

it's dull to feel somekinda strange taste in your mouth and not going for some 'action' when u need one..hum..i guess that's the price i gotto pay..

i watched finding nemo..on vcd and while i was watching rzal call and ask me to watch it with him today..i wish i could but feeling so unpretty..i dun thik i want to go out..not today..maybe not this week..

countdown:9 days more to go

i wonder why i didn't egt any cramps today..i tot i would wake up with mucsle pain result of playing futsal last nite..but it didn't happen..what a wonder!!and last night i had a blast..i gues i can forget clubbing and start palying sports even i'm not that good in it

still..i haven't decide about sheda's wedding..humphh...tick tock..i wish i could..
lately i become so paranoid coz i have fat ass and very fat thigh..i'm trying my best to tone it up :(..and i think i have to buy some toning up stuff..coz yesterday..everyone is talking about my strect marked thigh :(..bad..very baddddd

dah lama tak tulis..i've been busy..tonight i might be playing futsal..after my breakfasting...
gotto go..robotic class coming..

yesterday was a tiring day for me..i had to wait for mom atUM at 8.00 in the morning then went to class.Around 1 i meet a friend at KLCC and hang out at his office till 6.00.When i reached home.. i was soo tired..that i felt aslepp at 9.30.even when azam called me i was so tired to talk to him..i only mumbled few words and the restwas zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

i'm hungry now but i'm in a doubt..should i eat somewhere near campus or.. should i go to midveli and get that yummy yummy agloi olio?think wisely...

countdown:1 more day till azam come here!

last night i started learning hiragana..it was ok but i know i will have some problem in katagana..tulaa..masa sekolah sensei soh bajar malas!!!hmm..today is not as bad as yesterday..except i have to wake up at 8.00 in the morning.can't wait for friday..azam is coming!!

i'm furious now..i had gone through hard time to register for that japanese subject but the idiot SKET have suddenly increased the place for another students without the lecturer approvement.Now in my class there's 90 students but he only want 35 students..to cut down the students he will do a test next friday..whoever score 35 most highest score will remain in the class which is sooooooooooooo unfair..why not ask the juniors to drop the subject so,seniors who are suppose to graduate this sem like me can settle with the subject?if we are kick out from the subject how can we finish by this sem when add and drop week end at the same day?UM i thought u guys got the ISO...

ok...i know it's ugly but i like the colours..more space for improvement next time

try creating new layout but it's a mess..i'll try to reconfigure it

dark night...silent night..evil night.this time everyday i will feel ruin.. i feel empty..and i know the reason.when u get so close to someone..real close..and that person is gone ..it's kinda kill u inside..deeply cut ur heart..on lonely night like this u will feel lost and angry knowing that the person is not there beside u,to sooth u,to hug u when u need him the most.i miss azam tonight..i really miss him that i cried my heart out.

a friend ask me a question today

friend:why are yu like so fond, going out with other guys?

my answer would be..coz i can't bear to be alone coz my mind will keep recapturing bout those ol'days and if i hang out with my girlfrens all they talk are sweet sweet things they did with their boyfriend last night or yesterday..to make my self happy..or pretend to be happy..i went out with other guys..call me a bitch or whatever u want but that's the way i deal to keep smiling.anyway can anybody accept that girls and guys can be just friends even though they hang out together or chill out together or whatever together?

no matter how many cute or uncute guys i went out with i have already gave my heart to someone..i will only give it to someone else if he gave my heart back to me..but that's not gonna happen..

it's saturday and i'm supposed to collect CISCO's application form but i'm too lazy and all the people are not here..they go somewhere else..they got life,remember?two friends call me this morning to ask me out..to chill out but i guess yesterday mood ruined my mood today..i know it didn't make any sense but somehow i lost interest ..but i'll be going out to feed my greedy or should i say fatty?stomach and i have to change those damn keys..for all sudden there's nobody i know log in now..nevermind...

it's saturday and i'm supposed to collect CISCO's application form but i'm too lazy and all the people are not here..they go someone else..they got life,remember?two friends call me this morning to ask me out..to chill out but i guess yesterday mood ruined my mood today..i know it didn't make any sense but somehow i lost interest ..but i'll be going out to feed my greedy or should i say fatty?stomach and i have to change those damn keys..for all sudden there's nobody i know logged in now..nevermind...

after pputting on my pjamas..i looked at the mirror and oh nooooooooooooo.i have fat ass..fat legs..i am fat!!on tuesday farez met me at the 'mamak shop' and the first thing he said was 'u gain some weight' or maybe that's the polite way to say 'u're fat'.i just ignore that statement and just talk to him(maybe flirt a bit) untill last 2 days when i ate at mcD..my two friends convinced me i'm fat and they ate all the fries..maybe they were just joking or maybe not..and another incident was when i walked out from aleng's car to my apartment..he yelled to me 'exercisela woi..kau gemukk'hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..i knew i was fat :(...

so i make a new resolution..1 thing tomorrow

1.no junk food
2.exercise
3.go clubbing(i like this one)
4.do nothing and ignore those lunatics

let see what happen tomorrow..actually now is tomorrow.oh well.whatever

have u ever feel blue for no reason?i always face those moments..like right now.it's friday night and the phone didn't ring at all..i'm stuck in this boring place..will somebody please ask me out??i can't stand the muteness in this house...somebody...911...

aunty j came today..she must just met A lawyers..she said A probobly will be freed from that murder thingy..i hope so..what a waste for a cute guy to be hang to death or even face sentence in prison.and he is smart too..

hmm..skinner suggested that we enroll the futsul match..hehehe..not that i hate the idea but i dun even know how to kick ball!it's the air i'm kicking..but hey..for ol' time sake..just for fun..why not?anyway it's just a suggestion..one more thing.. i havent comfim to join sheda's wedding in JB.it'll be wrong if i didn't go coz then if i get married one day..nobody will come to my wedding..the problem is..azam wants to tag along.i want him to but i thought this should be girls trip..ahhh..i'll comfirm with fadzi and nikkit afer this.

i hate my pc..the cd rom is stupid..now i can't edit this blog..will somebody please pick up the phone and call me????arghh

have u ever feel blue for no reason?i always face those moments..like right now.it's friday night and the phode didn't ring at all..i'm stuck in this boring place..will somebody please ask me out??i can't stand the muteness in this house...somebody...911...

aunty j came today..she must just met A lawyers..she said A probobly will be freed from that murder thingy..i hope so..what a waste for a cute guy to be hang to death or even face sentence in prison.and he is smart too..

hmm..skinner suggested that we enroll the futsul match..hehehe..not that i hate the idea but i dun even know how to kick ball!it's the air i'm kicking..but hey..for ol' time sake..just for fun..why not?but it's just a suggestion..one more thing.. i havent comfim to join sheda's wedding in JB.it'll be wrong i fi didn't go coz then if i get married one day..nobody will come to my wedding..the problem is..azam wants to tag along.i want him to but i thought this should be girls trip..ahhh..i'll comfirm with fadzi and nikkit afer this.

i hate my pc..the cd rom is stupid..now i can't edit this blog..will somebody please pick up the phone and call me????arghh

have u ever feel blue for no reason?i always face those moments..like right now.it's friday night and the phode didn't ring at all..i'm stuck in this boring place..will somebody please ask me out??i can't stand the muteness in this house...somebody...911...

aunty j came today..she must just met A lawyers..she said A probobly will be freed from that murder thingy..i hope so..what a waste for a cute guy to be hang to death or even face sentence in prison.and he is smart too..

hmm..skinner suggested that we enroll the futsul match..hehehe..not that i hate the idea but i dun even know how to kick ball!it's the air i'm kicking..but hey..for ol' time sake..just for fun..why not?but it's just a suggestion..one more thing.. i havent comfim to join sheda's wedding in JB.it'll be wrong i fi didn't go coz then if i get married one day..nobody will come to my wedding..the problem is..azam wants to tag along.i want him to but i thought this should be girls trip..ahhh..i'll comfirm with fadzi and nikkit afer this.

i hate my pc..the cd rom is stupid..now i can't edit this blog..will somebody please pcik up the phone and call me????arghh

had things cleared up with azam..what can i say?i can't resist him..even if i could i won't be happy.so guess i just have to bear his 'menggelabah' and er..what's that word...i can't seem to recall it.nah..nevermind..

i missed fluffy and brownie proboly because MJ and pete don't just hop to me and pur.yesterday i talked to fluffy even though she was probobly forced by her master by pulling her bushy tail..aww..poor thing!

it's 12.47 and i just came back from php..why?coz i felt crappy..i missed azam ..and everything seemed soooo wrong and he was mad at me..maybe because i registered subjects for him snd probobly i went out with emericana.duh..i have a life to u know!!

anyway i didn't watch movies with emericana today..that's fine but before that aleng and rizal asked me to join them to watch 'finding nemo' but since i promised emericana i declined..instead we only had Mcd at bangsar after settling few things in UM..i really want to watch that movieeeee..nah..i can do it next time..can't i?

when dila told me about C++ results which are out today..i was terrified coz i dun it quite badly..that's another reason why i rushed back home..to checked it and..lalalala.. oh boy...i was happy..even though i didn't get A's but..i'm kinda satisfied with what i got..but i still have to woke up early tomorrow...to cancelled azam's registration..

for all sudden i feel sleepy...ah..home sweet homeee

i didn't have to cook today..hehehehe..and u can't imagine how happy i was.I didn't do anyhting exciting today..just met with izal and aleng and talked about CCNA and shits..hehhe those guys always talk shit but i like it ;P.

i chatted with that ol' skollmate of mine last nite..he was nice but..guys will always be guys..u know what i mean??uh..nevermind..

will be going back to php but..it's raining cats and dogs .plus my friends told me that the highway is jammed!!dila is already somewhere there but the key is with me..i guess i have to get tru that hassle..and i might as well chill out with friends tonite..aight!!!!

sad.very sad..my bf went back to tronoh even i told him if he do so..i will burn his car..but..hum..ok..i guess he need to work..i have to deal with that..

my legs still hurt..the outcome of playing futsul..but i really enjoyed it!it was really emberassing at first coz the place is packed with guys..but..what the hell..


haven't moved to php yet..nantilah..i egistered today..senibina tak ditawarkan..great..UM REALLY LOVE ME THAT THEY WANT TO KEEP ME.:P

actually..i have lots of things to say but since this blog always bring me problem..so i dunno la.lost words kot...for now..but i'll be back--->ayat arnold..sch..er.terminator

phew..finally i manage to spent my time to write.it has been a busy week for me..I just came back from PHP after installing all the lights for that place ad then me,azam and my parents went somewhere to get lunch..

last night an old freind call.I knew him since we are in primary.When he mentioned his name, for all sudden i remember her sly smile..hehehe..we had some conversation and about 12 midnight he fetched me to have some hot choclate..we talked and talked..i must say..i kinda have a good time and it amazed me that people still remember me even i kinda treat people badly.Before sending me home he asked me wheter to hang out at his house coz his family is not there..going for some vacation.But i have other things to do so..i tell him to drive me home.if my bf found out..i'll be dead..

yesterday i went to clean my new house..i'm totslly looking foward to stay there!after i went back..i was so exhausted that i slept...untill the next morning..

nothing special today..i just finished typing azam's report and tomorrow i'll be printing it ou..anddddd i'll see him tomorrow night!Groovy!!

i bought 'finding nemo vcd' but somehow it can't be open..tula lain kali jgn beli cetak rompak..tsk tsk..maybe i'll watch it with azam this weekend..

i was ordered to cooked again today..instead of 1 dish i had to prepare 3 dishes..hehehe..so being a bad daughter as i am i did it but i can feel fire and all sorts of bombs explode in my head..I guess my mum found out i'm not happy about it..instead of making me feel better she gave me 'the silent treatment'..life is great ain't it??

i think fluffy and brownie are missing their master coz they kept whining(it's meowing actually)so i have to sooth them by hugging them and whispering sweets words..and they purrred..purrrr..purrr..actually they are not alone..i'm also missed their master ;)

eventually i called tini and forget all about the bad things she said about me once..oh well..just bury the hacthed..let by gone be bygone..This make me nearly finish my 'contact person for reunion' list ..except i couldn't find any contact no for Mis..Mis..if u are reading this..email me!!

tomorrow will be a busy day...i can't wait!

p/s:last nite i dream about a very cute guy..err..that's not the point..the point is i can't think of any reasons why i should not flirt

i was ordered to cooked again today..instead of 1 dish i had to prepare 3 dishes..hehehe..so being a bad daughter as i am i did it but i can feel fire and all sorts of bombs explode in my head..I guess my mum found out i'm not happy about it..instead of making me feel better she gave me 'the silent treatment'..life is great ain't it??

i think fluffy and brownie are missing their master coz they kept whining(it's meowing actually)so i have to sooth them by hugging them and whispering sweets words..and they purrred..purrrr..purrr..actually they are not alone..i'm also missed their master ;)

eventually i called tini and forget all about the bad things she said about me once..oh well..just bury the hacthed..let by gone be bygone..This make me nearly finish my 'contact person for reunion' list ..except i couldn't find any contact no for Mis..Mis..if u are reading this..email me!!

tomorrow will be a busy day...i can't wait!

p/s:last nite i dream about a very cute guy..err..that's not the point..the point is i can't think of any reasons why i should not flirt

i can't sleep tho it's 3 in the morning..talked to a friend about my desease 'love to flirt around with any cute guys even i have a cute bf'.So i came out with something to cool my self down.

Reasons why i should not flirt

1.I have a bf
2.err....
3.No other guys can handle psychotic like me
4.They will not fall for me instead i will
5.if they fall for me..i'll be dead meat
6.Most guys dun have cute butt
7.flirting is contagious
8.My mom will kill me if i she find out
9.errmm..did i mention i have a boyfriend?

maybe after i wake up.i can think of more reasons

i had a bad start for a lovely sunday.When i woke up, my mum is babbling at me about...err..i can't seemed to remember and the she ordered me to cook.It's not like i hate cooking..I love to cook.But i hate it when people tell me what to do!Like yesterday when me and my bf heading back to my place..

azam:nanti kalau tinggal umah baru jangan selalu pegi clubbing..
me:skjdnsdvbs (yelling)

hey..It's my life..it's not like i can't listen to anybody but the more u try to shape my life the more i will rebel.I just can't tolerate orders or rules..i dunno why.

cooking with anger make me decide to stay with my friends next year or next next year..not to stay here..no way.I'll try to figure out how to tell my parents later.

my bf came and i helped him to finish his report and we went for an evening walk(isn't that sweet;)).Around 7.30 we went to see my new house for this becoming 5 months.I really like the house and the owner is so damn nice..

around 9.30 my bf went back to perak..huh..and now im still searching for the missing external floppy disk cord..Where the hell is that thing?I guess i have to search this whole house..or..maybe i can do it later.

today i just laze around and enjoy the daylight of 31st may,it's kinda bored i guessed.But in the evening a friend of mine came and we dressed her up for some dinner that she was supposed to attend.I just love dressing up!(although she's the only one doing it.)It bring me pleasure seeing beautiful people became more beautiful which make me think i'm an idiot coz choosing the wrong course in uni.*sigh*

then around 8.45 my bf came and fetched me..15 minutes late..oh well..i'm used to his unpunctuality so whatever..i'm hungry so just get in the car and move on.

we did have a marvellous dinner.i ordered fettucini chef and he ordered sphagetti marinara and we talked and talked untill we reached the $$ topic.For some reasons that i still failed to figure out,this topic always make things turn up side down..Suddenly i find myself turning into a lobster ready to snipe him here and there.snipe!snipe!

if i wanted to be selfish i rather find someone else that can shower me with diamond and pearls rather than shower me with his love..hehehe.. but what the hell..finding and starting a new relationship are not that easy these days..besides i think the spark between us are still days except maybe on some of my-pms-day..

tomorrow he'll be gone..again..and i'll missed him again..and maybe i'll go out with some cute guys again..when i missed him...again..