When I asked my boyfriend what does he wants for his birthday, he simply answered
"I want you for my birthday. I want you body and soul..I want you 100%",he then looked into my eyes and continue..
"Why is it so hard for you to let go of your past?"
Why is it so hard for me to let go of my past? The answer is simple, coz..u,my ex still haunt my mind and u are still hold my heart.
How can u wipe away something that was so significant in your life? I can't. Even though u broke my heart and it still bleed until today, despite all the mean words that u uttered, for some arcane reason u always linger around me even I tried to shooed u away.
I was in the worst situation when u picked me. I had a bad life, practically having bad relationship with everyone who revolved me and then..u came..showing me something that I never felt before.U show me the true meaning of love.
You teach me almost everything. You teach me how to stand for my right so that people will look down on me no more. You teach me how to smile and u teach me how to appreciate myself. Never in my life, people make me feel so special.. but u did..
We became close and closer everyday. I even witness how my family changed by welcoming u in my life. U are welcome anytime in my house, no matter how the condition was. The same thing happened to me. You family gratefully accept me as a member of your family. I thought..i couldn't ask for anything more better than this..
I have the most wonderful 6 years with you. We shared almost everything, we were there for each other during good and bad times, day and night. Everybody thought that we were inseparable and surreptitiously I agreed with them. There are lots of times when people tried to came between us. There's always another guy or another girl but still we prefer each other. Never at any chance u and I would let that something special between us slides away, Not a chance.
Not until u decide what u have wasn't enough. I always knew u have big dreams but I never thought u would shoved me aside just to make u dreams come true. To me, come what may, u were always my top priority but that's just me..When u decided u want to move away to seek a better future it really torn me apart. How can I manage to live without u by my side when my life ONLY revolved around u? Even I cried so hard u still want to go and the sad thing was..u dun even realize how I was feeling at that time..maybe u do, but u just dun care..
I miss u dearly when u were gone ..and I still miss u. We talked over the phone everynight and I ended crying every night. I was so pathetic at that time..everynight,I would peep from my window,just to see your room, eventhough I know you were not there. Did u understand how am I feeling that time?That I felt so lonely and lost?That my life was turning upside down? U did not..instead u just went angry and keep saying
"Why are crying?"
At that time, someone came into my life. Someone who have been waiting for almost 3 years for this chance to come. He came at the right time, when I really need someone beside me. I did give some signs to you but u were too engrossed with your world and u let me drown deeper. I guess all the fame and big money really changed u a lot. U turned to be someone that I dont know.. U dun even know what's happening to me..that i'm starting to drift away from you..The saddest thing was, everybody were pointing their fingers at me and they still do. Your friends and your family, and it bother me a lot..but what's a girl to do?
It's been 6 months now. U still call me every now and then. It's not that I want to desert you. No. No matter what happen u will always be inside my heart. But I think it's time for me to move on. The fact that still call me, are making the situation worst. U once, let me slipped off your hands for something that u thought would make your life worthwhile and now..u tend to let all things slipped away from your side. It's totally not you.Where is the tough guy that I used to know?Dun let this ordinary gurl bug you. She is nothing to you.Just go on with your life. No, we can't be best friends, not even friend. Why?It's because ..the feeling we have inside for each other are more than that..and u know I'm a sucker in hiding my feelings.So..run along now..and bury me deep inside. Don't call me anymore..don't even care about me anymore..just let me go..coz..sometimes love means ..letting go..
..u and me..we used to be together..
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