Rindu

Rindu.


Dusk at my place is always beautiful. I love to peep from the window enjoying the colours of the cloud. Enjoying the smell of transition from day to hours of darkness. From my place I could see the blue dome clearly where the serenade of azan seemed so mesmerizing. An addiction since I was a toddler, when everything used to be very easy.


The feeling tainted when reaching adolescent years, had to be away from my peaceful sanctuary. That time, when dusk embarked the scenery changed. And the feeling was different. I don't remember feeling secured anymore, I guess I must left them at the place where my heart belongs.


Numerous visits to the library on certain lesson had made me a fan of one book which scripture and pictured wonderful places of the nation. So many remarkable places; sandy beaches, colourful places and heaps of eye catching photographs. Yet, one picture captured my heart.


The blue dome.


In the dark, the blue dome stood proudly within the stunning reddish clouds embrace. Even I was hundred miles apart, I swear I can smell the air. My heart ached, I never felt so lonely, so lost. That time, I would give anything just to get an inch nearer to that blue dome.


That was my first lesson in discovering the meaning of the word rindu. The feeling that struck like a lightning on the heart. The feeling that make you weak. The feeling that make you feel lost. Lonely. Cold.


As I grow older, rindu comes and goes. Sweeping like a wind. It's like one of subsistence filling.


Still throbbing, even so many experience endured.


But.. what hurt the most is when you don't know how to say it and you don't know..whether it's worth to feel that feeling.


Rindu, I wish you would just go away..

Srikandi!

Srikandi of 937, my lovely sisters.

Hello bunnies,
How was your weekend? One activity of last weekend was playing futsal. Actually it was more towards practicing for the STF 50 year's anniversary futsal tournament. Oh, maka disini saya mengambil kesempatan nak marah sape-sape yang tak datang hari tu sebab bapak letihhh ok main futsal 8 orang. Nak terkeluar jantung aku, tak bunny lansung dah tau. Ok back to formal mode.


Alma mater was one of the places full of memories, especially if you were sounded day and night with wonderful people for 5 years. I hate schooling and authorities but I would have to say that I if was not one of srikandi, I won't be the person who I am today [haha]. Seriously.


I was not what you called an active student at school, I was only active at night doing some other activities which was not listed in our school curriculum. I thought, why should I? But after I went out and encountering the real world, how I wish I could go back and make few contributions.


I wanted to write lots of things actually, but somehow I just can't inscribe it. What I can say is I miss my old days there and I am proud to be one of srikandi. One of hundred things I like about being in that place was, we were treated equally despite coming from various backgrounds. STF never discriminate its fellow students based on wealth, looks or states you came from. But if you are a nerd, don't come and talk to me or you have to bear the stares. Kidding.


It doesn't matter if your parents own billions in the Swiss bank or not, it doesn't matter if you talked craps all the time, it doesn't matter if you failed your Chemistry constantly, you will still stand like the rest, wearing a pair of keji black heels with socks to school while running around the tennis court 10 times for not being punctual to the senaman pagi, yet still be loved by everyone. Where else can you grope boobs and asses without being given slaps? Even when I screwed up couple of times, I know that my sisters would never discriminate me and the same stories go for them. Called me poyo, I dun give a fuck.


I even told nicky that if she was born a guy instead of a girl, I would definitely marry her. But that's not my point.




It's our golden jubilee this year. In conjunction of celebrating 50 years anniversary of Sekolah Tun Fatimah, our batch 937 will be holding a futsal match open to all SBP. This is one of the activities which have been planned. Perhaps some of you already heard it but perhaps some don't. If you are a girl and you came from SBP environment, you are welcome to join the tournament since there are still rooms for few alumni. Come and join the fun, bring back those PPM memories. For guys, I think we have already met the quota. To get more info, kindly click here.


The 937 batch itself send a team to present our alumni. Hah, not that I'm not excited about the tournament, but I am more excited thinking about our outfit. Aku nak jahit sequin butterfly dekat baju tu boleh tak, bena? Gaya itu penting, at least kalau tak menang, kalah bergaya. Haha [touch wood]


Sponsors are mostly welcome. Come on, take a look at the picture and see all that dazzling smiles, we can smile better with your contributions. What is money compare to good deeds that you give to us and you would never know what other opportunities might arise. Email me for any sponsorship offerings. I promise I will be nice. Extra nice in fact.


Last but not least


Happy 50th Anniversary STF.


You shall be treasured.

Signal please

Ye, siapa yang cakap pompuan ni sangat complicated. Itu adalah salah ok, sebenarnye perempuan bukan sangat complicated tetapi hanyalah complicated sahaja. Takde perkataan sangat itu ok. Lepas tu kan pernah tak rasa macam pompuan ni sukela bagi mix signal. Skejap nak, skejap macam tak nak.Mana satula weyyy, make up your mind, woman. Sebenanye senang je, kalau perempuann ni nak, dia akan cakap nak but bila dia tak nak, macam-macam jawapan yang keluar.


Friendster/Myspace.
Tempat yang sangatla common untuk mengorat sekarang. Cuma perlu browse and pilih mana yang berkenan, macam catalog ok.Lepas dah pilih, pikirlah ayat apa nak tulis. Masa nila segala sweet talking keluar. "you have the sweetest smile", "how come an angel like you are still single" atau pon puisi-puisi yang entah dari mana datang tah.Panjang dia adala lebih 300 perkataan. Tapi jadi sengal bila perempuan tu cuma balas ..


"Ok.Tq"


Wah. Sudah jelas dia tidak suka, tetapi mengapakah si dia membalas dan berkata thank you kepadaku? Mungkinkah perempuan ini bz?Takpe, cuba lagi.


"Kenapa balas sikit je?Bz? bla..bla..bla..Love you saryunk" [tolongla, sape yang tulis fancy-fancy macam ni mmg keji ok]


Mungkin lelaki itu akan mendapat jawapan..
a)What the fuck?
b)Hehe
c)Tiada jawapan.


Walaupun ketiga-tiga jawapan ini berbeza susunan perkataannya tetapi ia membawa maksud yang satu iaitu "What the fuck?". Janganlah ingat perkataan "hehe" itu membawak maksud dia sedang mengekek suka membaca mesej itu atau pun dia sedang riang ria, sebenarnya dia tak tahu hendak berkata apa tetapi masih cuba polite lalu memberikan satu sengihan keji.


Tak semua pompuan suka di puji tak bertempat. It's like, compliments are not that cheap, okess. Ini menunjukkan lelaki itu keji dan corny.


Lupakan.Cari sahaja method atau perempuan lain.


Office
Ternampak satu pompuan yang bolehla tahan kan. Setelah berjaya mengusha line dari ofismet yang lain, dapatla tau pompuan ni single.Wah, mungkin aku boleh try! Alangkah indah dunia kalau dapat sebab boleh lunch skali, balik skali. Ohhhhhhhhhhh cintaaaaaaa


Fist step, try borak dulu diselangi dengan lawak-lawak,yelah pompuan suke lelaki kelakar. Respon agak memberansangkan. Dia ketawa ketawa mendengar jokes yang sejak dari form 3 dah praktik and nampak macam interested dengan ape bende yang lelaki tu crite.Lepas dah gelak-gelak mintaklah YM ID pulak. Smooth tak?Hihi


Respon dekat YM pon ok. Apalagi, untuk lebih kiut, lelaki tu pon menggunakan ikon-ikon yang comel. Sebelah tangan dah kebas gile ok and satu keje tak siap, tapi takpe, layann. Last-last before balik keje, mintak no telefon.Malam ni bolehla calling-calling.


Pompuan tu tak bagi. Tak apa, cubalah try cara yang lain. Ajak keluar plak cakap saje-saje nak minum or tau ada satu tempat makan yang best. Tapi dia tak mau jugak. Lepas tu korang try lagi tapi lama-lama pompuan tu macam cold and macam selalu tak layan lelaki tu dah dekat YM, nak kata bz gile takde pulak status idle.

Apa yang buat lelaki tu pelik, semasa berselisih di cafeteria, pompuan tu still senyum manja and layan borak


Tidak, dia senyum bukan dia nak kat kaulah, dia senyum sebab takkanla dia nak biarkan kau senyum sorang-sorang?Kau ingat die keji sangat ke?


Lupakan. Cari sahaja yang lain.


Club.
Skali tu kan nampakla dua orang budak perempuan duduk-duduk minum di depan bar. So, lelaki tu pon start the engine, kasi warm up dulu.Alah perempuan kelab, komfem senang.Susun ayat, bagi business card dan tryla bincang pasal club apa yang hip dan happening sekarang..Ianya lagi mudah jika lelaki tersebut memegang botol corona. Pemangkin, kata orang.


Perempuan itu ketawa-ketawa bila lelaki mula bercerita karut. Untuk menghangatkan keadaan lelaki itu mula offer membelikan dia air tetapi pompuan tu tidak mahu. Try ajak dia menari, dia nak tapi kawan dia tadi mestilah ikut sekalila.Iye, dia mahu menari sudah bagus.


Akhir sekali lelaki itu bertanya "Jomla ikut I balik malam ni". Si dia tidak setuju tapi kedua-duanya berdua bertukar-tukar nombor telefon.Sebelum berlalu kedua-duanya berbalas senyuman


Keesokan harinya lelaki itu trus meng-sms pompuan tu ajak keluar tetapi setiap kali tu lah dia bagi macam-macam excuse. Demm, dah terase macam pompuan tu try mengavoidkan diri Tapi kenapala, malam tadi segala-salanya hangat? Kenapa?


Kenapa?Sebab kau awal-awal dah bagi hint nak ajak mainla bodoh.
Komfemlah kau telah dikeji.


Lupakan. Main sahaja dengan permainan yang ada.



Mana-mana pon boleh.
Tak kesahla kat mana-mana or macamana, dapat berkenalan dengan sorang perempuan. Dia mengaku dia baru sahaja dikecewakan.Dia tidak lagi percaya dengan mana-mana lelaki. Walaupun dia dalam keadaan kusut masai, lelaki tu tetap berminat.


Pompuan tu layan baik aje. Bolehla borak dekat telefon cakap bende ngarut. Kadang-kadang kuar makan, lepak-lepak and macam-macamlah.So, lelaki tu pun fikir, mungkin aku boleh merawat lukanya.Yeah, right.


Jadi lelaki pun mulalah bagi hint- hint yang komfemla, budak tadika pon boleh tangkap ok. Akan tetapi, hints itu ditepis satu persatu namun si dara pujaan masih tetap seperti dulu.Sehinggalah pada suatu hari lelaki tu betul-betul tak tahan dan meluahkan rasa hati. Mungkin dia akan berkata


a) Berkata "Give me a chance, let me make you happy again"
b) Straight pegi bagi cincin mase birthday dia and proposed.


Untuk kedua a) dan b) dia berkata "give me sometime".


Yang membawa maksud,sebenarnya


"Tak nakkkkkk!!"


Mungkin boleh cuba lagi tetapi haruslah bersedia untuk mendapat barah otak. Dan ingatlah don't ever use these keji words kelak


"Yelah, masa you boring aje carik I" ataupun
"Eleh, macamlah kau cun sangat"


Ceh, apa die la weyyy..dah sah-sahla she only wants to be friend.


Carilah yang lain. Tak elok menaruh harapan. Sandarkan pada kenangan cukuplah.


Oklah. Terpaksa buat-buat bz agar tidak menyesal di kemudian hari.
Tata.

Treasured

I loveeee

Had dinner with my sisters, had a blast. To korang semua yang gigam [gila gambar], thank you so much. Saaayang korang sangat..sangat..sangat. And I was surprised with a bouquet of flowers. To that person, thanks, it was really sweet of you. On top of everything, someone I adore wished me happy birthday three times on different hour which keep me smiling the whole day. I likeeeeee!


Now, I was in the office yesterday when my phone buzzed displaying only the word "call" without any number. Meaning, call from oversea. There are two particular persons in mind, Fahimi or Aimee. But to my surprise, it wasn't one of them instead it was my dad. This was so extraordinary. Over the moon!


He said he suddenly think of me and decided to hear my voice. We talked for 15 minutes and he asked how are things on my side. He asked me whether I'm doing ok, whether I skipped meals or not and so on. Actually I was expecting the phrase "Happy birthday, Nina" but being Mr. Ros Kamal , it is his nature to forget every crucial details of the family. Last year he didn't wish at all and last two years he wished me a week later and was surprised that I had already turned 23.But yeah, his call really made me smiling the whole day. Later that night, on my way to meet the teteks my dad called again, this time he said


"Selamat harijadi yang ke 21!"

21? Wahh! I told him it's 26 and he just made an unbelievable sound and laughed.


Aww, I miss you too ayah! *hugs*


When I reached home, my mum went out for some appointments. On my bed there was a card and nicely wrapped box. Hehe, actually this was something predictable, my mom's custom since we were toddlers.


Your birthday tells a story
About a daughter
Too special for words,
About hope realized,
memories to keep, and dreams
waiting to come true.


Your birthday tells a story
About how beautiful
A life can be
When it holds
As much warmth,
And friendship,
And love,
And yours does..


That's why
Today is so important
To everyone
Who knows you
And loves
The wonder person
You are.


Sweet indeed but what really touched my heart was what she wrote after that.


She wrote..
I would be very happy if:-
1. U continue praying
2. U stop smoking
3. U smile more and be cheerful
4. N last of all U refresh your lost love with......


My eyes were watery when I reached number 3. Smile more and be cheerful. She must be so devastated seeing me in my misery and swollen eyes.


My tears become heavier when I unwrapped the gift. It was a beautiful pair of diamond earrings wrapped in a blue velvet case that came along with a blue box.

Emak, you are trillion times wonderful and valued compared to those tiffany & co earrings you bought me.


I really love you. So much.

Go Shawty!

Hah. Am so happy today. Tonight me and the teteks are having dinner at midvelli and it's been a while since I saw nicky. I miss her so much and her yummy err..nevermind, aku terlupa dia dah kawen.Hehe.


Earlier yesterday I was feeling gloomy coz I thought I don't have a reason to be happy for this year's birthday but I was wrong. I have lots of wonderful people around me, be it teteks or not. Thank you for every single call and every single sms. They really make my day!


Kite tak larat ok.


Anyway, another birthday meaning another wish [no, please don't remind me of the-another-year-older-part, thank you]. For this year, I wish for.. I just wish to be happy.

A year older, a year wiser.Who am I kidding?Haha

Actually I wanted to wish for Cape town, Bengal tiger or Manolos but they are quite complicated and adalah agak mustahil so I wish for the simplest thing ajelah.


Ok. Time to blow the candle, sunshine.


So bunnies, where is my albino phytonlaaa?