Puffing mbeks

I am having a big headache with nausea. No I'm not pregnant.


It's the bloody kambing at Nurel's wedding. And it's my bloody fault. I soo love kambing so much ok that I eat melampau batasan. Orang dah habis makan nasik aku makan jugak kambing lagi sebab lemaknya adalah sangat sedap. Dan isinya sangatlah lembut. Ohhh!!

"Chics tu makan kambing banyak, tak sedar diri high cholesterol"

But I'm glad I went there and I ate those kambing coz I got to see Nicky. I so misss herrrrrrrrrrr.


She is still with her atkin's diet although aku rasa sejak zaman vista lagi aku dah denga die berkobar buat atkin’s neh dan tidak lama kemudian kami bersama melantak carbo banyak-banyak. Hehe.


On our way, we stopped by at mamak since semua pelahap tak kenyang-kenyang walaupun dah melantak dekat rumah orang kawen. Initially, I wanted to buy roti bakar and sup lidah only but.. the plan changed when I saw her.

Isn't she cute?

Even the stick itself is pink.

Tadaaaa! Rokok berperisa stoberi. Asap dia pon kaler pink okkkkk [ kelabu pinkish]!! Hello, bukankah buah-buahan baik untuk kesihatan? Ianya juga baik untuk sesiapa yang mengalami masalah sembelit.


Sungguh comel dan menawan hati.


No, you are not allowed to ask question and yes, you can make your own assumption.


By the way, do you think kambing and minty stroberi is a good combo that might contribute to my headache and nausea?


Someone even told me to take lecithin and lots of water.
I think that's crap.


Righttt?Righttttttttttttttttttttttttttt?


Happy Monday Bunnies.


Nak Tak makan stroberi??

Tektik

Setelah gagal menjadi gigolo, rakan saya ini bercita-cita pula menjadi seorang penjual dvd haram. Dude, kenapala? Macamana kau nak ngorat awek cun kat sini lagi kalau ko jual dvd haram? Kan kita dah bersetuju bahawa awek cun hanya akan terpikat lelaki yang kacak bergaya dan kaya? Haih, macam-macamla kau ni dude.


Apa-apa pun, saya masih lagi melayan soalan-soalan beliau dapat usahanya mengorat seorang awek. Nak kata blur, aku rasa dia ni romeo habis. Nak kata tak hemsemm, aku rasa dah cukup hemsem, nak kata tak stylo pon tak jugak. Mungkin jugak kau sengal tahap maksimala dude. Tapi takpe, usaha tangga kejayaan ok.


So, di keluaran kali ini, ingin saya menulis serangkap pantun untuk beliau.


Utuh sungguh buatan cengal,
Ukiran di tempa untuk mengindahkan,
Kalau anda lelaki sengal,
Simpulan itu kan saya leraikan.


Ewah.


Perempuan Garang
Pernah cuba nak mengorat perempuan garang? Baru cakap hai dah kene maki. Jika anda berasa dengan menkatakan ayat seperti " You ni, makin marah makin cantikla" adalah sweet, anda salah. Itu bingai namanya okkkk bukan sweet. Tektik untuk mengorat perempuan garang adalah dengan berkelakuan tegas dan berkata dengan kool "kenapa nak marah-marah ni? Cakap elok-elok kan senang hati". Dengan ini kalau dia nak marah jugak lelaki tu cuba kool jugak. Jangan sekali-kali berlagak seperti roy dalam cerita gila-gila remaja atau naik hangin dan berkata "Kau ingat kau lawa sangat?" sebab tu tandanya korangla yang tak hemsem. Dahla tak hemsem tak dapat ngorat pulak. Eeeee.


Perempuan Ramai Peminat
Ungkapan "You ni cantikla", "You ni specialla" atau "Senyuman you menggodala" adalah cubaan-cubaan ynag sangat keji sama sekali. Korang ni pon, komfemla lebih sepuluh lelaki dah cakap macam tu. So, if you too, said the same words, apa yang special sangat tentang kamu ini? Be differentla. Be funny, be original . Just make her comfortable. You juga boleh menajdi seorang yang persistant tetapi jauhi perbuatan lame dan sikit-sikit nak call konon-konon tanya khaba.r Be yourself tapi kalau rasa diri tu macam tak best, lupa kan ajela. Hehe.


Perempuan Berdikari
Senang aje sebenanye nak mengorat perempaun berdikari. You don't have to worship her, just ler her be. Biarkan apa yang dia nak buat but, you can always be a good listener and hell, ko jangalah pulak nak potong line nak bercerita pasal kejayaan diri kau je. Perempuan berdikari menyampah mendengar cerita hebat lelaki seperti "Oh, my ex semua cakap I dapat puaskan diorang", "Oh, I lagi 2 tahun nak jadi millionaire", "I ni pencinta agung". She doesn't need assurance la. She just need someone to have fun and to appreciate her. And also, please, jangan tunjukkan diri anda lemah dan super menggelupur. Mereka benci. Kalau anda lemah, pergilah bergaul dengan lelaki samseng mulai hari ini.



Perempuan Mata Duitan
Senang cite, kalau korang tak de duit, lupakan. Unless, korang terrer nak menipu or you know that for sure you could give her what she wants tapi ingatlah, ini memang menempa bala namanya. Bak kata pepatah ynag mereka pegang "No money, no honey!"


Perempuan Emo.
Kadang-kadang dia seperti seorang yang berkarisma tapi kadang-kadang sekelip mata boleh menangis. 5 menet lepas tu boleh gelak-gelak. Believe it or not perempuan seperti ini tidak akan sentiasa meng-amusekan dan hehe pengalaman bercinta dengan dia adalah seperti naik roller coaster oleh itu banyak-banyakkan bersabar and ye, you will be asked the same question over and over again. Layan kan ajelaaaaa. Masa nak mengorat pon, mungkin akanmengalai beberapa pengalaman ynag mengelirukan. Satu hari layan, besok anginla pulak, lusa buat-buat tak kenal, tulat ajak tengok wayang. Apakah? Ala, kau follow aje. Nanti akan tiba satu hari yang tepat dimana it will the the right day untuk mengayat habis-habisan sehingga she will get melt.


Perempuan Awek Orang
Haih. Mengapalah nak mengorat awek orang? Tau tak ini perbuatan keji? Dah pergi bertaubat sekarang.


Perempuan Serba Serbi Hebat
Rupa cantik, kerja bagus, family background bagus, kawan-kawan semua glamer and you are just the average joe. Sungguh terasa diri seperti tungau di celah rumput but hey, have you watched hitched? Trust me, kadang-kadang perempuan macam ni masih terase unsecure dengan diri sendiri dan mencarik-carik the meaning of being happy. The way to get through their heart is, first get a stable job second have a decent personality yang tak sama dengan personality kawan-kawan dia. She might need something different sebab kalau bende yang sama apala yang thrillnye? Invite her to other world she never know, your world. [walaupun itu mungkin agak menakutkan].


Perempuan Feminist
Aha. Pernah kah anda berjumpa perempuan yang kalau boleh die nak konker semua? Macam, heyyyyyyyyyy, aku adalah tidak perlukan lelaki ok. Perempuan boleh buat segalanya. Tidak, berlakon alim dengan mengatakan hawa dijadikan dari adam adalah salah. I mean that fact is so true, undeniable tetapi takkan jalan dengan diorang ni ok. This type of woman dah sampai tahap maksima dah. Perkataan sebegitu tidak akan mendapat balasan. Even ramai lelaki berasa pompuan macam ni menjengkelkan tapi ada jugak yang tertarik. You must be someone greater than her but not showing what you have or how interesting you are. What I mean is tak payahla poyo2 kau nak tayang bmw 7 series kau ke, nak tayang kau ade rumah dekat whatsoever heights or cakap berapa gaji kau sebulan ke, just excel in your own field but bekerjasamalah dengan mereka. Perempuan yang berkarisma akan jatuh hati dengan lelaki yang berkarisma dengan syarat, lelaki itu tidak poyo dan meninggi diri.


Hehe.


Happy weekend bunnies. One hug for the weekend and another one for the days that I did not able to blog.


*Hug!!

Porno

So I was thinking. How am I supposed to buy porn cds? Isn't weird if a girl asking for porn cd? And hello, like muka macamana harus aku buat ok? Adakah muka stone? Excited? Ataupon horny?


By hook or by crook, I have to get at least one to show that I really went through the experience. Selalunya aku download aje mende mende karut ni, takdenye nak beli. But for one of my paper kenela pulak beli and harus ada rakaman tentang pembelian tersebut ok, so dapatlah mengetahui keaslian pembelian itu.


So, eventually I asked someone else, who happen to be a guy to buy it but aku ikut sekalilakan, so atleast I know what info I could get from the ah beng. Ala, you know konon-konon takjub dengan pekerjaan mereka padahal nak tau pasal mende lain. And yes, I wanted to take few pictures and if possible video.


We went to this sekumpulan ah beng yang menjual cd itu. Sekali tanya je terus dia bawak tepi. I said I wanted a malay porn. He offered Malay, Thai, Indian, Chinese, Italian, pendek kataa semua kaumlah dalam dunia ni dia ada, still I insisted on Malay coz I wanted to stress the point that some of Malay girls in Malaysia telah diperdaya dengan pil-pil khayal or just berkhayal berlakon seperti Baby Rina or Jenna Jameson.


Ah beng 1: Melayu punya ata. Lu tunggu sekejap * Chow pegi amik stok
Me: Banyak terrerla you, I carik banyak tempat melayu punya takde pon.
Ah Beng 2: Ohhh, Itu pasal kita ada stok maa. Ada kaki..
Me: So, macamana dapat?
Ah Beng: Wa punya boss.....bla..blaa
Ah beng 1: Nah.
My Friend: Apsal cover dia cakap western? I nak melayula boss
Ah beng 1: Lu jangan risaula boss, itu cover aja maa. Sini lalam melayu punya jugak.
Me: Hehe. Best best.


We then took the cd dimana casing luarnya ialah Monster's House. Memang monster betul.

Beli CD monster bang

To me, porn Melayu is something yang mencuakkan. I remembered one of my reader then, melawak dengan aku cakap gamba aku tuka baju ade jual dekat uptown. Memang macam haram. Yela, aku kan suka terlupa tutup langsir and tingkap bila menukar baju dan aktiviti aktiviti yang sewaktu dengannya dalam bilik.Ingat tak cuak ke hah?


I remembered when cd pramugara yang terlampau being released, I was shocked to see someone who looked like my friend was inside that movie. Tapi nasib baik fringe pompuan dalam crite tu membezakan segalanya yet, not everyone is observant. My friend went to some stressful time when people started to talk about it and yang peliknya dia sendiri tak tengok and finally, when she watched it with us..


"Babe, aku babe!!Muka aku babe!!Aku belakon porn!!"


Cis, excitedla pulak but yeah it was not her although mukanya adalah sama cumaaa..kawan aku mana ada fringela, rambut dia sama panjang dari dulu lagi. See, adalah sangat merbahaya ini!


Back to the cd that I bought, last night lepas balik dari sessi interview dengan mangsa porn addict and dengan beberapa orang alagi. I wanted to look at the cd. Agak kuries ok, kot-kot ade yang aku kenal ke. Hehe


Mula-mula play..tulis cina. Eeee. Apa ni, aku dah stresskan tadi aku nak melayu tapi takpe maybe kompeni yang payung ni kampeni cina. Tungguu..Hah nampak orang, excited! Excited! A guy is kissing a girl from behind. Tapi..apsal pompuan tu nampak semacam?


Beberapa saat kemudian..Celake. Dua-dua pakai spender rupanya. Dahla cina pulak tu. Gila kejiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!


My conclusions are

1. Mungkin ah beng tu rasa macam aku ada ala-ala nak ngorat dia tadi sebab extra peramah so he wanted to stress out that he's gay, so he gave me a gay porn instead.
2. Mugkin ah beng tu nak ngorat aku sbb tu dia bagi salah cd sebab aku dah amik no tepon dia. [haha]
3. Mungkin ah beng tu berminat dengan jejaka yg telah menolong aku membeli porn tersebut [ I know that person feel like punching me now. Haha. Sorry, by now, you are too far away to do that].
4. Mungkin ah beng tu bingai.

Tapi tu elok lagi, nasib baik dia tak bagi aku porn ynag stok makan taik. Kalau tak mesti lecturer aku ingat aku saiko.Hoh!

Keji!

P.s: Disebabkan wong ah beng buat poll, maka aku terpaksa memaksa korang pegi ke blog dia dan memvote aku. Hhehehehehe.cepat vote untuk chicsssssssss :P. Keji tak keji

Edge of Reason

Being a girl, I love Bridget Jones Diary. I mean, hell, the story about an ordinary woman who is slightly oversized and practically said anything that crossed her mind, where acting stupid is allowed and not considered as a crime. Well, to me that's only human. Aku tak taula kalau-kalau ada orang yang boleh mengontrol diri 24 jam as if the tahap kecunnan adalah tahap dewa and if we happen to have this type of people among us, she'll probably be boring, you know like Bree in Desperate Housewive. Ehe, sorry, no pun intended.


Anyway I was watching the sequel of Bridget Jones Diary, The Edge of Reason when it occur to my mind that life is so simple.


Ok. Hear me out. Have you ever been in the situation where there are too many choices around you that you suddenly don't know which one to choose? It's like ohh, that one looks juicy but thaaat one is not bad either but uh uhh what about thatttttttttttt one?


It is nice to have choices but sometime it could be tiring and confusing of course. For example, let say you are single and let say that they are few men who seem interested in you and that sort of make you confused because first, they might seem everything nice but aha you'll never know what's inside the package and you can't afford anymore blip. Second, probably you don't want to get any headache kesan percintaan yang putus di tengah jalan but hatimu itu gatal mahu berteman.


I don't know about you guys but I prefer to be sweep off my feet without my conscious meaning tau tau aje aku dah suka orang itu. It such a turn off when you know someone is after you and yet his attempt is so obvious. Maybe certain women would appreciate that because hey, it's an ego boost but kau rasa ianya sesuatu yang merimaskan. It's like, can you leave me aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Did I not tell you that I'm not interested to be with someone? Or something like that.


Well, maybe that's not fair. I mean, if you really like someone of coursela you will have to try kan but hah, how to differentiate between and honest attempt or those attempt who are missed up with lust. I know that I'm not making any sense hear but just stay with me ok.


Back to edge of reason, the boyfriend yang bernama Mark Darcy is a male who is sort of insensitive and practically can be seen as someone who is quite bad with words although he's a lawyer. The competitor is a sweet ass talking Daniel who is not only good looking but my, sungguh memikat hati.


Manakah yang lebih penting, rupa fizikal yang menarik berserta kata-kata manis yang mencecah langit atau rupa yang so so and selalu cakap benda yang salah but with pure intention [Cuma kadang-kadang perlu dikeji sebab terlampau blur].


Kalau anda sudah ikhlas berbuat sesuatu, buat sahajalah. Tidak perlu berbasa basi dan mendambakan bulan dimana akhirnya bulan akan pergi bila siang tiba [gilalah ayat akuuuuuu]

At the end of the day, you would realized who is the person who claimed that they really care and prove it and the one who said they do care but try to prove it andddd..mix it up with other agenda. And because you know that he did not try to impress you in an obvious way, you will also feel ok to act silly and to act as whatever you want because you know he did not bring that kind of manner around you in the first place.


Adalah menjadi kesalahan untuk menulis sms yang berbunyi


"You are an ungrateful person , I tried so hard to impress you all this while".


Bang, at the first place, who asked you to impresslah?


Nampak macam terlari topik tapi takpe.


Ehe , my conclusion is open your eyes widely, although there might be thousand of choices but there will surely be the one that shine brightly even though the sky doesn't seems so blue.


They will surely be some obvious signs and it's up to you to interpret them.

Wedding

Ahaaaa. Finally the wedding is done. It was ok I guess. I was happy to menggelatat with my cousins again although I was kind of menggelupur mc-ing the ceremony. Findings:-

1. My brother is going to have dance floor and tehcno music for his wedding.



2. My uncle loves to layan kepala listening and tiesto and knows the existance of the pop pills and ehe I wonder.. Pacik camno buleh tau neh?



3. My cousins butts are twice size larger than me. Haha



4. All of us a camera whores.



5. I want to have babies. Hehe



6. Wawa course forced her to wear make up everyday and dress decently and her latest assigment is to write a paper on how to wear eyeliner in a correct way. Demm yuh wawa, I sooo like that course.



7. I realized I dah tersilap amik course. I should have take photography[haha] or make-up ing.



8. Red is soo in that's my all my baju raya will be red. Tengkiu.



9. I was bombarded with the-so-oh-famous-turn-awak-bila-lagi question that I decided to own up I am a lesbian. Ehe nottt. I told everyone I am only 16, mana boleh kawenlah!!!



10. Wedding is nice but to find someone to wed to is soo nooot.



11. There was no ayam masak merah, I was devastated. Hehe.
    
    

More pictures here.

Happy Monday Bunnies. Enjoy your day at office!