Saturday, July 08, 2006

Bastard Magnet Syndrome

Bunnies, have you ever heard of the latest syndrome; the Bastard Magnet Syndrome?


This is a deadly syndrome which contributes to dooown syndrome and heart break syndrome. The thing is, this is a recurring syndrome where by as soon as you are completely cured, worst in certain cases, half cured they will attack and yeah destroy. Meaning it could produce double attacks towards the victims. Victims who are declared Bastard Magnet positive would suffer from depression, heartbreak, rapid weight loss, acrimony, sakit otak tahap bernanah and worst numb-ness.


What causes this syndrome among women [intelligent ones. haha] these days? The virus which are namely bastards. You see, like the element 02, bastards could be spotted everywhere. They could be avoided but these women , even how street smart they are , are born with one disability which is soft sport inside towards bastard acting guys.


Why? Because some women they are either (a) love challenge; (b) blind and stupid; (c) sm. Only guys with bastard's characteristics got their attentions. If a guy happens to be able to carry responsibility immediately, he will definitely be marked as "X". Guys who worry too much about how the woman will deal with life, who are eager to listen to her boring stories are also a no-no. Funny but true. All this why this BMS victim had been shouting how they want men to treat them nice but when it comes to selection, they pick the other way around.




Victims carry special sensor above their head to spot bastard. Light indicates positivity.



Maybe, it is because how bastards make them feel. You see, some women love freedom but at the same time demand to be love. When choosing a bastard, he wouldn't care much about what do you want to do or what the hell is going on in your life. They just want (a) fuck; (b) money; (c) a companion which will be drooled by the others, but when they want these three elements they will be extremely nice to the victim thus, making victim weak on their knees. They never control, never nag, never show sympathy which some women don't need at all. Don't be fooled. These bastards come in different type of shapes and forms which range from mat rempit to pilot to even businessman. Tiada batas sempadan memisahkan mereka ini. Ko jangan ingat muka hensem and dressing stylo lepak kat hartamas dengan rambut cacak-cacak bukan bastard, although not all them are like that. Yes, the word here is camouflage. Seperti sumpah-sumpah yang terrer menyamar okkkkkkkk.


So what can be done to curb this syndrome? Awareness. But if you think to shake these victim's body hard and say "Babe, dahla tu. Dia tu kejila.Tinggal je la!!" is the key , then you are wrong. Even , kalau ko lempang diorang pon belum tentu jalan.


Eh, actually I oso don't know what's the cure.


Anyway, fret not. To those who haven't deeply suffered or never suffer from this syndrome, here are some tips to spot these bastards. Actually everyone had bad genes and perangai but due to some mutation, some of them will turn into bastards.

  1. Their diction are around "I'm different, I'm not like everyone", "I promise will love you like no one ever did" dan macam-macam promise lagila, "dear, baby, sayang" on first date or first conversation.



  2. Mid thirties but no girlfriends, not even close friends, doesnt enjoy sports: not even watching them. The alasan "I'm ambitious, kerja I banyak".



  3. Never really want to introduce you to their friends or to be introduced to your friends. Dengan family lagila.



  4. Never show any interest in what you are doing or what's going on in your life.



  5. Always went MIA but always come with good excuses like tak denga phone, busy keje or even kene teman emak shopping.



  6. Vain. If you are a vain pot, these bastards are vainer then you are. Don't be surprised to see their reflection admiring themselves on your compact powder mirror while you are applying powder!. And they are always eager to hear what people have to say about them.



  7. They like to feed you with their cerita kejayaan. Akulah bagus, akulah hebat. Hoh!



  8. Lots of women know them but they said they don't know these women and if they admit they would say "Ala, tu cerita lamaaa".



  9. First time jumpa dah nak romen.



  10. Cinta dekat bini orang/ tunang orang/ gefren orang tapi pada masa yang sama suka dekat kau or attached with someone but still nak mengote dengan kau jugak. Lepas tu claim "Hey, lelaki boleh kawen empat".




Those are only some. So be careful, once you are under attack, the lights to the tunnel get dimmer and dimmer.


Should I run "Fuchsia Ribbon Campaign: Bastard Magnet Awareness" campaign?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

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