Showing affection

I was reading the newspaper while my mom cooked dinner when she came to me.


Mom:Awak sebijik resemblance Mak Jai[My aunt on my father's side]
Me:Maksudnye?
Mom:Kaki and bontot gomok.Lopeh tu suko pakai suar katuk, muko dahla macam cinapek.Entah apola yang si Azwan tu suko tah. [ My mom, depending to her moods, love to use noghoghi dialects when talking about relatives]
Me:Maksudnye ape?
Mom:Awak tula, sebijik macam mak jai..Memang ngikut sebelah ayah.


Yeah, me and my aunt looked alike. She's cute and so am I [hihih]. She likes to party and hang at clubs till dawn and so am I. She even called me whenever she and her hubby went out for their night life. She is ignorant to other people and so am I but..what surprise me, during my difficult period last year, she called me once in a fortnight to check out whether I'm doing fine or not. She also offered to introduce me to my uncle's friends.[My uncle friends are yummylicious with fat wallet.Ha!]. Well actually that's not my point.


My point is, I realized that my mum will never fail to criticize me on making a conversation. Even when she wanted to eulogize me she will condemn first. It's like.."Awak pakai suar mmg buruk, bontot besa sangat, pakai skirt macam ni kan elok" instead of saying "cantik awak pakai skirt".You know, in my point of view, parents are like that, maybe not all but my friend's parents are mostly like that. They don't know how to directly show affection to their children..as in word wise. Not actually parents you know, come to think of it..how many times did you say "I love you" to your parents for the past 5 years? For me I only say it directly once which was last January when my mom sort of want to find her peace by running away and twice on sms..Believe it or not..It's so akward to do that.


Maybe you would say "Ala, tayah cakap-cakapla.Faham-faham sendiri sudahla".Oh faham-faham sendiri ye?Kalau boyfriend/girlfriend tak cakap "I love you" tau nak merajuk, nak marah.So how?


Maybe it's malay culture. It's not nice to show affection perhaps? Maybe calling your hubby 'sayang' in the public after 30 years of marriage is something embarrassing? Or maybe scolding your children in front of everybody is a good way to depict that you are being a capable parents? Why can't we for once..just show how we truly feel inside, instead of shielding it by doing the other way around? Like I said, maybe it's a malay thingy. But I believe things are changing slowly. Man nowadays does say sorry when they messed things up not like old times when saying sorry is a huge thing for men to do. And woman do called their children with affectionate names and speak their mind rather than sweet talking over people but then kat blakang cakap lain..


I dunno.I hope things will improve so human being will feel more appreciated. Improvement without disrupting the malay culture.


How?Go figure coz I too..is still looking for the solution.