i'm at home now.In shah alam..seeking for peace that i never find..yet..i failed to find it again.Humph..mom told me to finish some chores..i wanted to do my study but when i told her that she just..get mad.And again,i'm all alone here..heheh..when i'm alone my mind start to get creative..thinking about yamyam..and azam at the same time.When i open my cupboard..i can see lots of azam's clothes inside..hmm..what would i say to give them back to their owner and how shall i react..when all those stuff is likely belong in my dresser?I mean..it would sure be hard for bth of us to see he gathers all his stuff.Urgh...i hate to think about it..Like yesterday when yamyam told me that he wanted to buy me a new simcard since tmnet sux,for all the sudden i felt like crying..coz my recent simcard was bought by azam just for me so he can call me everyday.It's like..throwing all what he had give me..materially and spiritually.and yesterday i cried again when i told what i have been holding in my heart and mind to yamyam.
i told him..if he really wants me he has to be very patience coz i think i'm sort of scared to repeat the same mistake again..i mean hurting people and getting hurt.That might answer all his questions why sometimes i acted like a stone when he's around..and he'll get upset..so sorry.it's just that i try to deny my own feeling because i'm scared...
as the result f massive waste of tears my eyes are swollen..again..this time i won't get mad if someone stood up to me and speak cantonese.hehehe..even i look thrashy but still i manage to watch identity with yamyam.Brillinat movie..
i'm supposed to study but...
+kill me..kill me..just kill me+
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