Limit

Do know how it feels to push yourself to the limit? It's like your heart is bleeding but you force your lips to crave a smile.. So that everybody won't know.


And it hurts twice when your heart is bleeding and you are forcing a smile and people mock you because you are smiling.


It's like loving a person. You tried your best to love him even deep inside you are hemorrhaging. You thought he could be the cure but instead his words tore your heart apart. And sometimes you wonder.. does he really loves you? Like.. you think of him all the time but he rarely calls and when he did..His voice doesn't sound enthusiastic.. Just normal hi and hello. And then you tell yourself..Get a life..The world does not revolve around you.


It's like eating at mamak. You hate mamak..to the max. The smell of curry make you puke. But you have to hang there and you are hungry..and ordered naan which come with curry. You feel like throwing up.And then you tell yourself.. Get a life..curry never kills anybody..unless it's poisonous.


It's like hating a person. You hate him that you wish him all the misfortune in this world. Wishing that he would regret all the things he had done. Wishing that he'll suffered from HIV. Wishing that you could haunt him forever..Or maybe you wish you could burn down his house..enjoying the view with his echo of agonizing voice, fried to death.And the you tell youself.. Get a life..It's not noble to wish for bad things for other people.


I am tired..tired of pushing myself.I am tired to love, to eat at mamak and to hate. My body and my mind can't take these anymore. Maybe I could just stop. Change love to like..change mamak to malay..change hate to ignore.


And then I tell myself..Get a life..I am not that strong..