Jamu

She looked decent and will deceived you with her innocence and naive-ness but I know better. I can tell you all the bongok things that she did and I bet you will laugh until terkench but hehe I know she is reading so I better keep it to myself.


So I met her last friday at her wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy in ampang. The reason aku agree nak jumpa die adalah disebabkan dia telah berjaya meracun aku supaya makan jamu. Yes, you read it correctly, j.a.mu.


She promised that it would taste sweet so I agreed [yeah, rrrright].


The moment the kakak pembuat jamu bancuh the two packets of jamu I sensed that it would not taste sweet. She campur a packet of I don't know what with another packet of I still don't know what into a warm water and add some honey and stuff and stirred them. I did read the back of the packet though, in case you think I am that stupid to eat apa apa sahaja yang diberi. Untuk melancarkan perjalanan darah and menstrual it said.


"Kau minum satu nafas je ok babe". Epy said sambil aku memandang kepada gelas yang penuh dengan cairan hijau.


"Kalau tak nanti tekak kau kembang". Bukankah sudah terlambat untuk dia berkata demikian. I mean, obviously I can't telan those yucky thingy in one breath.


1..2..3..telan.No, I did not telan in in 1 nafas. Bila aku bernafas...


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. [i am puking as i am typing this]


Macam harammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Segala bapak tungkik di dalam dunia.


I told her I could use some penyepit hidung macam penari berirama dalam air itu. Tapi dalam kekejian yang terdesak itu, I managed to finished them all. Tapi aku respek gila dengan minah leleh ni bila dia sekelip mata meminum kesemua air hijau yang diberi kepadanya. In split second ok. Like gluk..gluk..ahh dah habis.


I did cursed a bit but she said "Ko nak chantek takkk?"


Babilah. Itu pertanyaan mengunci segala cacian ok.Hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


"Eh aku lupa nak bagi tau, nanti kau kencing kaler hijau tau, jangan takut". Apakah aku tak takut kalau kencing aku kaler hijau? Apakah motif bila aku dah minum baru kau nak kasik tau?Then she asked me to repeat drinking the jamu for 3 more weeks, I said yes sebab nanti dia bising but deeply i was unsure. Hehe


Yes, my kench is green so did my stool .Horror ok taik kau hijau butttttttttttttt I tell yew, I no more selalu kentut-kentut and my kembung perut is cured. I am hoping my sensitivity towards pedas food will too be cured.


Ok babe, I will see you again for the -nak-muntah-jamu session. Betul ni.


Maybe I should buy the penyepit hidung after this.