Pengote talk

If you think I am going to stop writing about pengote, you are wrong. I still despise them. But today I shall list down of signs telling you that person is actually not really want to know you, probably just want to get in your pants


Yes, this is based on true story.

1. He said he knew you from your blog but after a while he forgot what's your url and the fact that you even have a blog. Clearly he is not that keen to know the real you, just want to know what's in your tight baju.



2. His ym status in way more than corny, something like "Let me love you" or " I will wake up to the smile of your face" when you were invisible. Obviously that is not for you, so why is he still trying to get your number?



3. He missed called, in case you will take the bait and call him back. Kalau betulla nak chenta, berkorbanla sket kan.



4. His friendster / facebook / myspace list are full of babes. Perlukah untuk di elaborate lagi?



5. Dah berpuluh kali kau kasi tau kau blaja or keje dekat mana. Dia still tanya jugak lepas tu cakap nak kenal dengan lebih rapat. Lanch kaulah.



6. Too good to be true. Seperti anak tan sri, bawak bimmer, ex gf model tapi main kayu tiga sedangkan dia seorang yang setia dan segala cerita-cerita yang best best sahaja tentang dirinya. My believe, if it's too good to be true, it's not true at all.



7. Mute his phone when both of you go for a date.



8. First date pon dah nak pegang-pegang. Benci ok.
   



9. Bila call je, memanjang tak angkat or tak dapat. Apa lagi pegi mengotela tu.

I never say I hate all men, I hate some but not all.
And I believe despite what they say "all good men are taken" [which might be true], they are few good men out there.

Cuma, terlepas pandang.

Perm

Today is the day when I mencatat sejarah. I become the lion. Not the temper but the rambut kembang.

Yes, I finally get my hair perm after 2 years kecoh-ing about it. It was as scary as I thought. The process and the result.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

First, I dislike the smell of the thing they put to my hair, they made me feel sick even dah berjam jam habis and second, they accidentally burned my capang ears sebab the hot rods were so hot and the cloth they put to cover the heat adalah sudah terlari

And my neck hurts coz I had to dongak sampai semaksima boleh so they can dry my hair using some big dryer that look like worms holes.

"Ini kalau first time perm akan tricky sikit tau bila u wash sendiri. Nanti dia kembang kalau tak betul-betul style"

From my experience, even when I have straight hair, the washing experience after the salon visit will give a celake result compared to the condition when it was done at the salon.

Inikan pula rambut kerinting. Tula gatal sangat, orang nak spa digital perm kau pon nak jugak. Haihhh.


Habislah rupa aku macam lion king lepas ni :(

Membeli ice untuk emak

Last week I received lots of visitors at my house resulting my mum shouting at me to buy more ice cubes at the kedai. I have no problem with that except aku hangin bila tengah hari yang panas aku nak reverse kereta tak boleh sebab the cats loves to play bawah kereta sambil lari lari manja bila aku halau coz they thought I was playing with them.


Finally after sweating all over the body, they got the messaged and i managed to get to the kedai with lots of ice packs on my hand.


Now , the ice adalah sangat berat dan aku adalah sungguh tidak boleh diharap untuk mengangkat benda berat so I walked quickly towards the car when I realised a bike parked behind the car. And the owner was just infront of the bike wanted to walk to the shop. He look like the typical rempit, rambut kaler with berekor. Being me yang tak sabar dan tangan aku dah lnguh dicampur dengan air yang dah menitik, I asked him to move his bike. Politely ok.


"Excuse me, boleh tolong alihkan motor awak tak?"


He just looked at me and walked away.


Sungguh lanch!


I shouted "You are so rude" Walaupon aku tahu aku pon rude tapi pegila mati.
Did he react to my shout? Hell no.


Bila yew jumpa orang bingai macam ni, it's time to take things in your own hands. I can see that his awek was waiting at the bike so I just reversed my car towards the bike. Gua nak takutkan awek die je beb takdela gua nak langgar dia kan, takut jugak gua kalau dia panggil geng rempit dia belasah nanti.


As I suspected his awek started to menggelupur di tengah panas itu. Haha, aku suke. When the car nearly touched the bike, the awek has no choice but to remove it. Aku tau motor berat so mungkin adalah benci baginya to remove the bike using her heels ditengah panas. Tu pon nasib baik aku tak hon kalau tak mau terlentang awek dia. Now, why didn't I do that?


Eventually the guy came out from that kedai, bila dia melihat aweknya sudah mengmovekan motor he looked at me but he did not say anything.


But you should look at his face.
Priceless.


Aku terasa sungguh pemenang.

Reasons

The reason why I deserted this blog, get stressed out, over panicked every now and then, always missing in action and other unexplainable gestures were because I had participate in a wedding preparation which I also attended last weekend.


Mine. My wedding.

All ears

Significant teteks

The mas kahwin



I married the swirly faced man



His side

Shelly!

You don't have to know who he is. Nothing else is important beside the fact that he made me feel again.


How can you not, when someone left behind his creed to embrace and revere the same Divinity as you are, just to be with you?


I found my Mark Darcy.
No. Actually I am glad he found me.


And no, I am not pregnant.
In case you are wondering.


Thanks for all the wishes and gifts.
You know who you are :) .

Note

Dear bunnies,

I won't be around till this weekend. I have some stuff to settle that require most of my time and attention.


But I promise I will be back next week.


Till then, hop safely and stay away from the big bad wolf.


Love always,
chicsinred

Kacang hai

I think my way of eating would scare any guy especially those who are attracted to the ayu and control ayu ones. Not that I not try to be more bersopan but I can't and sometimes I feel keji for myself for failing to be bersopan while eating.


But I remembered the moment when I realized I am more bersopan compared to some people. That was when I accompanied Abu Dhabi guy for a wedding few months back. He was still in Malaysia that time. It was a wedding in one of the hotel and since he got no date, he decided to bring me. Oklah I thought even when we are seated with other guys and I was the only girl. But, as soon as the ceremony started all the boys dengan lahapnye mengambik lauk sampai habis boleh dan aku adalah sangat laparrrrrrrrrrrrrrr okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I mean, yes it is a custom for guys to makan banyak dengan lahap sekali dan menyapu makanan dengan cepat ibarat piranha but hello, jadilah gentleman sket. Show some courtesy to a lady bleh? Cuba kalau aku erra fazira komfem kau gentleman kan. Aku terdiam membisu mulut terkunci ok. Well, at least the Abu Dhabi guy cared about me and ambikkan saki baki yang ada. Yeah, he was such a schweetheart [and I hope he is reading so he would be marah that I said such thing haha].


After that I dragged him to kampong baru to eat bubur berlauk. And boy, I was glad that finally aku dapat makan, dengan banyak.


Hehe. This subjek makan remind me of the time when we sorok-sorok makan dalam kelas masa skolah. In my school there was this particular kacang yang sangat sedap yang hanya boleh dibeli di kantin yang bernama kacang hai. Sedap gila ok. Dalam kacang biasa kat luar ada kaler putih menyelaputi, no it's not what you usually find in the kedai coz until today aku tak jumpa dah kacang tu.


Makan dalam kelas adalah satu cabaran yang besar and I am sure you know that. Terdapat beberapa tektik iaitu:-

1. Masukkan kacang dalam mulut perlahan-lahan bila cikgu tengah tulis kat papan hitam. Kunyah perlahan-lahan tapi stop bila cikgu pandang depan. Ulang sehingga kenyang.
   


2. Ambik buku dan dbuka sambil mendirikannya di atas meja. Bongkokkan badan dan makanlah seperti biasa.
   


3. Masukkan kacang dan berpura-puralah mengkaver mulut seperti mulut anda busuk sebab tak gosok gigi.

Berlagakla seperti tiada apa yang berlku padahal masa kau ambik kacang dari dalam plastic punyelah bising kan.


Tapi skill makan nasik lemak secara pass baton dalam lab sains semasa kelas cikgu mat taib adalah yang paling terbaik. Sambil menahan pedas sambil pas kepada kawan seterusnya dibawah meja.


When I think about it now, bangang gile terasa. I mean punyelah masa tu ingat "haha mat taib tak tahu" padahal sah sahla bauk nasik lemak semerbak. He probably was cusing alone to himself because he know kalau marah pon, nasik lemaknye dah habis.


Hehe. Nasib baik aku tak jadi cikgu.
Kalau tak mesti otak aku dah lama ada nanah beku.

Katak-oke

Last Saturday the teteks went for karaoke. At ktv bangsar, I likeee because they provide lunch. Hihi sambil menyanyi sambil melantak [not that aku nyanyi sedap pon kan].


Anyway just let the pictures tell you everything.

chics and tina




Tu diaa..dalam membaby masih cergasssss




Ini kawan saya nama dia fadzi




Aksi meneran mereka




Nik dah semout hehe




Haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! skill gile ok sambil cangkung sambil nyanyi




Joget sakan




Siap nyanyi lagu kawen boleh?




Sukelakan dapat nyanyi




Aku tak ingat dah lagu apa nih




Aku tak percaya dah lebih 10 tahun prangai masih macam ni hehe




Feeell okk feeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllll

Kemudian ramai-ramai pergi ke devi untuk threading [thank God I look more human now]. Aku benci gila nak pegi situ sebab jem and parking susah walaupon hasilnya lumayan.


And oh, I head home with sakit tekak and thank you so much girls.

I love yew all so much.


Like you don't knowlah kan ;).

Motif soalan

Ok. I love 1901 and thinking of it now made me feel like membeli satu. It's a quick feast for my tummy and it's setap.


Last ramadhan, I experienced my full moon as other women did so satu hari saya telah berjalan-jalan di shopping complex near my house when I realised I haven't eat anything the whole day. And there was no food at home so I stopped in front of 1901 kiosk and hesitated. Kenapakah yang mengjual tiada perempaun? Dahla tengahari ni. Adalah malu hendak membeli dari lelaki. But what the hecklah aku perempaun and I am not going to eat it in front of them. Whne I made my ordered, I realised both of them sengih-sengih keji, this is when I pergi jalan-jalan sebentar while waiting for my order to be prepared.


Sebenarnya adalah tersangat malu walaupun semasa muda aku dan kecik penah selamba makan nandos masa tengah hari buta di bulan puasa, hehe ko inagt tak lagi kecik?


Mungkin aku telah kembali ke jalan yang beanr [hihi].


Anyway, I noticed on of the guy still working there till this day sebab agak selalulah aku beli hotdog dekat situkan but we never say anything except for "New york chicken satu extra cheese satu takeway" and he responded by saying "ok ".


But few days ago was different. I made my usual order and then he open his mouth.


He: Akak orang mana kak?


Akakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?Akakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk? Haih, he looked as if he is the same age as me. Walupun aku tahu perangai tidak mengaku tua ini adalah keji tapi adalah tetap merasa keji bila orang ynag tak berapa muda nak panggil aku akak.


Me: Sini. Duduk dekat-dekat sini
He: Oh ok.


Pause.


He: Saya nak tanya sikit boleh tak?
Me: Apa?
He: Apa pendapat akak tentang perempaun kelantan?


Like WTF. What kind of question is this, I mean to ask to a stranger.
Adakah dia


a) Sangat desperate untuk mengetahui jawapan dan adalah kera sumbang takde kawan so kene tanya aku
b) Saje nak tengok aku racist ke atau ada semangat perkauman
c) Nak mengorat [haha]


Anyway, I hate when people ask me this type of question. Apakah sangat shallow untuk tahu jawapan dengan menanya orang? Kau ingat perangai orang adalah berkadar dengan populasi dan dialek?


Haih.


"Huh? Macam perempaun lainlah,takde beza. Kalau nak kata baik, semua negeri ada perempaun baik kalau nak kata cibai semua negeri ada perempaun cibai"


I don't know whether my asnwer helped but until today aku still tak paham kenapa ada orang nak tanya soalan tu.


And if he wanted to ngorat, bang plis carik pick up line yang best sket.
Hehe perasan tak aku? :P

Stardust

I just got back from watching stardust.


Ye aku feeling nak jadi star macam claire danes dan kelihatan bersinar but michelle pfeiffer really scare the shit out of me.


Aku seres nak terkucil bila dia gelak masa last last cerita, she played the wicked witch well enough. I left the cinema with a glowing heart like a star[hihi] ditambah lagi apabila mendengar sountrack cerita itu yang di nyayikan oleh take that.Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.Feel ok.


But disebabkan watak michelle pfeiffer itu aku menjadi takut apabila hendak mencari kereta bila movie habis. You know jusco cheras adalah pelik kerana i can't find the way to the parking. Plus semua kedai dah tutup ok masa tu. Keadaan adalah gelap.Dan semasa inilah aku terbayang michelle pfeiffer keluar and laughed wickedly.


Or the guard locked us in by accident and we have to sleep inside the mall.


Don't know why but I always have the idea that someday I will get locked inside some shopping mall dan itu adalah menakutkan.


Sangat.


I really want to crap more but I have to go, nak basuh muka hari dah malam kang michelle pfeiffer datang.tanak.


Tata

Breakout

Sorry for the lack of update. Trust me if I have 8 hands, I would.


So today I finally got the time to do things for myself. Went to see epy for the following jamu session and she managed to snap some picture of me but unfortuately aku takde cable phone tu skang so tak dapatlah melihat aksi kejiku itu hehe. I actually don't know where is that place sebab aku main turun dekat lrt, yang aku tau dekat ampang and epy ambik and she also don't know how to describe that place. So there, the answer to all your questions.<>

Hehe after we ate, epy tertinggal spek dia atas meja and she went on the phone from the kedai to her car. I took it for her and wanted to hide it sebab suka nak tengok dia menggelupur sebab bolehlah aku balas dendam gelakkan kan dia atas sebab dia gelakkan aku masa aku menggelupur bila makan jamu tadi. Tapi disebabkan dia sudah bukak story best I forgot all about it. Bila dah sampai rumah only I realised that I still have her spec with me. Hihihih, sorry babe, kerana menyebabkan kau rabun hihih.


And back to my story, after that I went to tertangguh facial session. My face is screaming out loud coz there are too many breakout sampai aku pon tak sanggup dah nak tengok muka aku dekat cermin. Everything was fine during the facial until tiba part dia nak picit jerawat.


Babi.
Sakit gila ok.
Sikit lagi nak terkencing atas katil pembuat facial itu.


" Why are so stress aaaa?" Tanya amoi pemfacial itu, the beautician i mean. Kenapa aku stresss?kenapa aku stressssssssssssssssssssssssss?


"Because you squeeze so hardlah, i feel like crying already". Sebenarnya air mata dah bergenang masa tu hehe. I mean before i start the facial session they asked me how much hurt can I tolerate I said low, tapi inikah low? Kalau ini low, kalau hard bagaimanakahhhhhhhhhhh?


"Nolah, this one I know, I mean you have so many congestion around your eye brows, more than 3 each sides, this show that you are a very stress person".


Haih.
Sangatlah.


So 3 hours later the session ended, bapak lama adalah letih menahan kench. After that I looked at my face in the mirror.


" I think more breakout will come but I cannot squeeze them because you kenot tahan sakit".


Babilah.
Inikan belum squeeze lagi sudah nampak dengan clear bahawa adalah sangat banyak jerawat gila berbanding sebelum ini. After the facial it become more visible sebab the breakout become more visible and merah-merah.


Arghhhh stress.


Then on the way to the car, I saw a weighing machine.Aku timbang.
Naik 0.5 kg


Stress nak mati.
Komfem amoi pemfacial akan mengeluh tengok muka aku lagi 2 minggu

Chics is Busy!

Message from Chics: Hi teteks and bunnies. I'm busy, but will be back soon:*

Mood yang babi

If you are looking for a merry entry perhaps you want to shut this window now. I am feeling wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy under the weather.

1. I changed my corresponding email because I keep getting penis enlargement mails and naked pussies pictures in my mailbox. And email from some moron yang bernama ada bin yang aku dah cakap banyak kali, jangan foward aku apa-apa emaillah babi, tapi tak paham-paham gak. Pegi mampuslah kalau kau baca pon, aku dah cakap banyak kali tapi kau foward gak dekat aku benda-benda nak jadi juwatan segeralah apala lancau lagi tah. I really hate fucking foward emails.
   




2. Aku benci bila jadi messenger. Orang A suruh pesan dekat orang B, orang B suruh pesan dekat orang A. Bila dua-dua tak puas hati sebab each orang tak deliver apa yang diorang nak, aku jugak yang kene. As if I am in control of the situation. I don't ok, I don't.
   



3. I am totally feeling like taik. My pimples dah semakin banyak dan besar and my hair is so keras and my hati is so kecut.And I am holding something which is almost killing me, if you think you know what I am talking about, you are wrong, even you know me that well.I am so stress. I really need God to help me sebab dalam hal ni takde orang lain yang boleh.



4. No. Don't leave me comment such as "bersabarlah","hang in there" and sewaktu dengannya. I am not in the mood to hear anything. I just feel like telling not accepting.

Jamu

She looked decent and will deceived you with her innocence and naive-ness but I know better. I can tell you all the bongok things that she did and I bet you will laugh until terkench but hehe I know she is reading so I better keep it to myself.


So I met her last friday at her wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy in ampang. The reason aku agree nak jumpa die adalah disebabkan dia telah berjaya meracun aku supaya makan jamu. Yes, you read it correctly, j.a.mu.


She promised that it would taste sweet so I agreed [yeah, rrrright].


The moment the kakak pembuat jamu bancuh the two packets of jamu I sensed that it would not taste sweet. She campur a packet of I don't know what with another packet of I still don't know what into a warm water and add some honey and stuff and stirred them. I did read the back of the packet though, in case you think I am that stupid to eat apa apa sahaja yang diberi. Untuk melancarkan perjalanan darah and menstrual it said.


"Kau minum satu nafas je ok babe". Epy said sambil aku memandang kepada gelas yang penuh dengan cairan hijau.


"Kalau tak nanti tekak kau kembang". Bukankah sudah terlambat untuk dia berkata demikian. I mean, obviously I can't telan those yucky thingy in one breath.


1..2..3..telan.No, I did not telan in in 1 nafas. Bila aku bernafas...


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. [i am puking as i am typing this]


Macam harammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Segala bapak tungkik di dalam dunia.


I told her I could use some penyepit hidung macam penari berirama dalam air itu. Tapi dalam kekejian yang terdesak itu, I managed to finished them all. Tapi aku respek gila dengan minah leleh ni bila dia sekelip mata meminum kesemua air hijau yang diberi kepadanya. In split second ok. Like gluk..gluk..ahh dah habis.


I did cursed a bit but she said "Ko nak chantek takkk?"


Babilah. Itu pertanyaan mengunci segala cacian ok.Hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


"Eh aku lupa nak bagi tau, nanti kau kencing kaler hijau tau, jangan takut". Apakah aku tak takut kalau kencing aku kaler hijau? Apakah motif bila aku dah minum baru kau nak kasik tau?Then she asked me to repeat drinking the jamu for 3 more weeks, I said yes sebab nanti dia bising but deeply i was unsure. Hehe


Yes, my kench is green so did my stool .Horror ok taik kau hijau butttttttttttttt I tell yew, I no more selalu kentut-kentut and my kembung perut is cured. I am hoping my sensitivity towards pedas food will too be cured.


Ok babe, I will see you again for the -nak-muntah-jamu session. Betul ni.


Maybe I should buy the penyepit hidung after this.

Makan makan

Pergi open house adalah sangat best tetapi membuat open house adalah tak best. I am still thinking whether I should or not.


Anyway, Saturday evening me and June went to Azam's house in Sungai Buloh country heights and the amazing thing was, aku drive ok. Seres, takde sesat mahupun eksiden. Yela, if you know me personally, you would know how menggelupur I get bila nak kene drive tempat yg agak jauh and aku tak penah pegi. The food was marvelous. Nasi tomatonya adalah sangat sedap, aku tambah 2 kali [dan berkali-kali untuk makanan yang lainnya]. Tapi classmate aku ni carita lebihla. Hari tu ye ye je nak datang tapi yang datang hanyalah beberapa kerat sahaja.


Malam, Jaja and Sakinah had their swimming pool party at their place. Memasaing beli rumah dedekat but the place was chantek ok. Swimming pool ada cendawan mcm dekat sunway lagoon, best hehe. Again, the food was marvelous Cuma tak sempat makan sangat sebab bz amik gamba. Most of the tetek tuned up except for bena yang bz membuat open house di waktu siangnya. Sorry, I could not come sebab aku dah janji dengan classmate aku.


Apa yang menghorror + happy [ sebab aku tau diorang happy] adalah mereka mereka semuanya sudah beranak pinak. Semua angkut anak, chics adalah takut bagi pihak mereka. Tetapi syabas diucapkan kepada ibu ibu itu kerana sangat produktif dan kepada bapa-bapa kerana menjadi penembak yang tepat.

Married ladies association. Ida with adam



Jangan mimpi nak ngorat, all taken



Kami gembira bila makan



Ada jugak yg nak enter frame tuuu. Dahla buat muka stim.



Rambut saya panjang dan perut saya..waaaaaaaaaaaaaa:(



I love my nicky



Menjahankan krusi rumah jaja



Srikandi 937

Tiada dalam gambar: Suami- sumai yang bermuka sengal sambil berkata dalam hati "bilala wife aku nak balik nihhh?bising gila budak-budak ni!"


Happy monday bunnies!

......................

I am meeting epy tomorrow. Yeay


And I have more open houses on the weekends.


Siapa ada u-zap, boleh pinjam tak? Aku macam dah surrender nak diet.


Enjoy your weekend bunnies and screw the diet.

Hotter la sangat

Ada orang claim dirinya hot didalam blog ini. Well she is not me. And she pointed that I have jendul head. Hell yeah I do and I don't see anything wrong with that. Oh and my scary brow. Haih, Yeah I know but unlike some people I am busy doing something bermakna in my life rather than pakai proxy server komen dekat blog orang. But honestly I need to see the kakak mentheading soon. Thank you for the reminder.


Dan yes, I wore halter to my friends open house and what concern you if aku mati besok? Mungkin the fact yang kau tak sempat mintak maaf dekat aku kot? Don't worry with God will I will live to show how happy I am, which might bring misery to some people life ;).


One comment from me, kalau ye pon kau nak rasa superior sebab


a) either you are really buruk but claim diri hot ,
b) either you are berkote tapi terlupa mana ko taruk kote kau,
c) either you are ok or even pretty cuma hati kau yang tungkik [part hati mcm betul so God, have mercy on this people],

come onlah miss hotter chick by far, only stinky pussies/dicks use such nicknamelah wey. Aku yang keji pon tak guna nama keji macam tu. Nampak sangat berusaha sangat gigih untuk nampak hot.


Bunnies, don't be like this ok, no need to struggle to prove anything, kalau dah something tu ko tayah kecohla, semua orang tau. Ini tak serupa macam artis artis keji dalam pancaindera [ala suratkahabr kecik utusan hari ahad], apa cerita? Hanya jauhari yang mengenal manikam [wtf tapi takpela].


And oh, I deleted your comments sebab you are such a disgrace and sore to my blog.
Only people with class are invited to comment.


Tetapi sebagai consolation prize, terimalah gambar dahi jendul dan kening scary dariku untuk mu.

Bagaimana? Cantikkan kening dan dahi ku? And oh, kali ini saya pakai tube pula. Awak ada?

Thank You.

Yang benar
-Gadis berbaju halter semasa eidul fitri yang berdahi jendul dan berkening scary-