Say Nothing

"It's only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away"


Who remember Ronan Keating and his Irish boy band? I do. I used to love Stephen Gately although his looks is quite similar to monkey and he's gay but I still adore him [mungkin sebab telinga dia sama dengan aku. Haha]. I used to believe that words can do it all but now I don't like Stephen anymore I prefer Ronan Keating who still sing some lame songs but this time he changed his statement after going solo.


"You say it best, when you say nothing at all"


That's so true you know.


Have you ever been in the situation where not even a single word in this world could describe you feeling or when you tend to say it out, the words itself kills everything? What about have you been in the situation when you lie on your bed while having your partner lying next to you and the ambiance is so peaceful and the look on his face make everything seemed so perfect? You, even there are a lot of things in your mind, even your heart are screaming of happiness, you tend to smile in secret and exhale every single moment because it is simply magnificent.


And you don't have to say anything.


I have this penyakit. I love to watch people from far and admire them. So there was this guy staying near where I used to stay during my uni years. To me, his appearance is quite appealing. Fair, hazel eyes and nice smile. I always bumped into him on my way to the kedai or to the swimming pool. Of kosla aku buat-buat tak nampak okeh, janganla harap aku nak stare-stare padahal dalam hati "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" Adalah chics sungguh menggelatat okk. Haha.


One day, I was walking to where I stay from the parking lot when he walked to me and say "Eh, you are from Johore issit? Johorean always have your style". I don't have the fuckest idea what the hell was he trying to say to me but after that I found myself accepting his phone number. The cute guy, the hazel eyes, the sharp nose and nice features yet words kills my excitement. I never called him and never had the same excitement everytime I saw him after that but we had a short tea when he joined me at the mamak and ehe he did visit me at my place once or twice.


What I am trying to say is, I like what I see and I have my own reason for liking it but when someone who I like from distance come and say hi. It means bye bye to me. I don't know why, don't ask me. Maybe it kills the beauty in it.


Yours truly do strongly believe words are only words. And worst, some words no matter how special it may sounded will lost it's magic and power if being over said.


Like sorry. Sikit-sikit nak sori. Bende kecik pon nak sori sampai menyampah aku. Kau ingat aku ni Queen of England ke nak sori banyak-banyak. Have some pridela and save it for something more important. Nanti bila dah ada bende yang lagi besar you say sorry, how am I supposed to value it? Hoh


There are times when I feel like saying something to match the situation but I'm afraid if I say it, It will kills the beauty of it. I'm afraid if I say it, my words doesn't seemed to be beautiful as what I am feeling or the words will become an ugly ghost later on.


To some people, maybe saying everything is the best way. Why hide if you really feel it? Well, not to me. Often I was hurt by words and I would not want other person who I care hurt by my words although they seemed so mesmerizing but unless it is something true yet hurting because you know, truth hurts, I will tell. But not something yang berbau pengaharapan dan berbau bunga tetapi berunsur penipuan ok.


I rather be seen as someone who tend to say something hurtful but true rather than sweet person but when it comes to words, hanyalah cakap-cakap sahaja.


Plus, you say it best, when you say nothing at all.


Ehem.So, ease your mind and smile. I don't have to say because I know, you already know.
It's just a matter of time.


Really.