What will happen?

I am at home again.Yeah...call me weak or whatever but i need time to be alone. My dad is getting better.Syukur to that.He is now being transferred to normal ward.No more ICU.That's good.Nothing could express my gratitude.

I manage to track yamyam.Only God knows how much I missed him..but u know what..the feeling changed.I thought that when I saw him I would cry and let him comfort me but I only smiled at him.And when he hold me,i felt..empty.What is this feeling??We talked..and again we ended at the same spot where we left.He walked away and left me with 'the-tak-puas-ati' feeling.

During my black days for this past few weeks, there is someone who had stood beside me when i needed somebody.I knew him for quite long time. He did all the best he could.I was flattered with what he did to me.I did not want to interprate signs that has been delivered to me.It's hard to trust anyone when everything went wrong..and when the special someone who u give your heart to,turns your back around u.All I can say is..I am flattered and really appreciate what he had done for me.

Yamyam will be going for his 6 months course next month, means we will spent less time and i probobly won't be seeing him for quite a long time.He would leave me on a bad time when our relationship is shaky.I have been through this time before, with my ex..and i definetely know what will happen.The things is..I'm not ready to face te consiquences.

Dear reader, please teach me what to do..and perhaps to love again??