The killer

Two weeks ago my grandma held the annual kenduri kesyukuran to welcome Ramadhan.


I thought it was the usual big kenduri where my grandma will invite the whole hulu langat. Instead it was against the norm, only closed family members were invited. Everybody was surprised to see me there [and secretly, so do I :P]. The thing that really maddened me was none of my grown up cousins [I was the eldest] attended the kenduri, they all went pak tor with their boyfriends and even let they boyfriends picked them up even though they just live opposite my grandma's and me.. can't be doing that coz I want to please my mom, when actually nobody cared. One of few things that I do not wish to follow my mum is her concern to live upon people expectations.


I was left alone to mingle around with kids. Who talked about hip hop, underground band that I never heard of and forever non-stop making their 'in' jokes that nearly made me cry coz I can't believe I was one of them!. Hello, I'm too old for that,ok.


Got nothing to do over there, really. Wanting to help cooking and preparing[haha, nice try]..But my grandma has her own maid and my aunties had their maid with them to my grandma's house. So I was just someone who's making smirking faces and listen to bibik sesame bibik conversations. After a while I get bored and start playing with my phone. Uh, and I found games services in my maxis service. Click on the virtual pet and start playing. I fed that thing, bath and some other stuff that a moron can think of. Oh, it's not just a thing, I name it, coco as in coco chanel [haha]. I was not that fun but hey, it’s better than watching mawi on the telly [no offense]. Around 12 midnight, my bro was ready to go back to Shah Alam and I was more than happy.


Yesterday, the same feeling crept over me while I was waiting for my mum to finish her maghrib prayer in the car. I was bored. Was thinking to listen to the radio but it was azan so..you knowlah. Then only I remember about coco.


Clicked to virtual pet status.


Age:2
Fit:-1
Joy:-4

Pet is awake
()()
(#")
(00,


Why...


()-()
(TT)
(00), R U so cruel!!
U din clean me,
And you starved me 2 death..


Oh shit. Oh shit.


Dengan bodohnye aku pegila click button feed, with full of guilt as if I forgot to feed my cats for over 1 week. This is the reply that I get.


-=I dun=-
mean
2 leave
you
*-but-*
my time
wif u
.:is up:.
-=take=-
"good"
care of
urself [celake, penatnye aku nak taip ikut skema sms ni].


No, this can't be happening. Oh, perhaps I should give my pet medication.. so medicine, clicked and go.
The reply.. was still the same.


Fuck. I just starved my pet to death.
I killed my pet.


And moronly I feel bad and guilty.
Like soo bad..
I wish I wasn't too occupied to feed it.
I wiash I wouldn't be too selfish just to think of myself.


Padahal mende tu kenal aku pon tak..


Apa kene dengan aku ni wey??