Colder I get

Yesterday when I was about to hang out with Ikhwan, my mobile rang. The number started with o8 something something. I was thinking to myself.Borneo's number.Who the hell is this, I dun have any borneo friends except for Laila but she's here now, in KL.


Me:Hello, who is this.
He:Hie, this is xxxx[nama terpaksa dirahsiakan..hehe]
Me:Who?I dun know any xxxx
He:It's me, I'm from myspace, we spoke once or twice on the internet.
Me:How did you get my bloody number?
He:Go on, you can say fuck off but i'm just trying my luck.


I know this guy. I was mean to him and I was mean to everybody who message me on my YM or friendster or myspace or whatever excepts for my existing friends.And now he has the guts to call me even I treated him so cold.I may be cold but I'm not rude. Since he put the effort to find my number and called me all the way from Sarawak [he is an oil and gas engineer and currently is working off shore] so I just talk to him.


I am cold and I am mean to people. Like Ikhwan said I perhaps did that because there is so much bitterness in me, which is so true. I have heard people labelled me as snob,cold blooded, berlagak,biatch and this guy called me JAPS [Jewish American Princess].Do I care?I don't..I'm immune with people calling me names.People don't know me anyway so why should I care ?


He know that I was cold but he took it as a challenge.What?What challenge?This can't be real. I conciously beeing cold to people to drive people away from me coz I have too many heart breaks and I was trying to protect myself and this guy find it interesting.Hah!He even said that he would call again even he know I would still be stiff and hostile.


I hope there won't be too many guys like him coz I have a reputation to mantain.Haha!

Celebrate

New year. New day. New me.


Didn't go to any rave party but when to BBQ party with my friends. Was nice seeing them again for quite some.Was laughing like mad despite cute guys existance there. [cute or not tak sure tapi assume jela cute].


Then had a sleepover with my lovable nicky.

Baring-baring wuth my huge zits showing off it's face.Sheesh

Tido..Zzzzz

Anyway, someone said that i'm such a cold person. Indeed i am. So my latest new year resolution is not to be cold to that person who I had a blast time going out with *wink*.Hehehe..We shall see..Shall we?

Year end

Finally it's year and. Another year has passed us by.Lots of things happen.How r u going to clebrate today?I will be celebrating..most probobly at home je kot or maybe..I dunno..since parties has been cancelled.


Anyway, I'm on half day today people and 1 more hour to go.Yeehaaa..But..apa aku nak buat lepas ni?hishhh!!


What ever it is..


happy new year!!



apsal aku rasa sedih lak ni?iskhhh...

Dreams last for so long..

I have reoccurring dreams which is normal right?But this one, scare the shit outta me.It happens in 3 sequels, like on the first night I will dream about the first part, second night, second part and so on...


Part 1
I befriended with a gurl. She's famous and pretty.She's also nice and everybody likes her and sort of worship her. We became best friend and start hanging out together. Everyone knows that we are like sooo best friend, unseparable.


Part 2
I don't know what happen but I remember tearing her flesh from her body into pieces. My hands are covered with her blood. She's dead and I killed her. Still remember how I rip off her body and slowly began to tear he flesh pices by pieces.I don't know what happen and why I killed her but I know it was me. Blood was everywhere, my clothes we soaked with her blood and my room began to stinks..and my cats just watch me and sometime they lick the blood.To clear the evidence, I tear all her flesh and her organs and throw them to the sea where fishes will ate her remaining flesh or they will rot later.


Part 3
The remaining evidence is still with me, her skeleton.What did I do with them?I buried them under my bed.Underneath the cement under my bed. When gone missing everybody started to look for her. My mom keep asking me questions and everywhere I walked all people do is keep talking about her. Saying that they sware that the will find the murder. Bloody hell.I was scared. The scary feeling is the as as when ur high on marijuana and your friends joke about calling the cops. That kind of scared. I keep telling myself that I'm dreaming.


Even when I woke up I still feel so scared and believe I had killed someone and stuff then under my bed.


The worst part is.. I keep dreaming about it for almost everyday.But that was 2 years ago.


I don't dream about it anymore but I keep thinking about it..means i keep thinking about that dream..What the hell is that supposed to mean?What is it that it wants me to know?


Or just put it this way, mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur..ait??

Party

Ok. So I decided that I'm going to be a party gurl again.I know some of you will mock me but. Who the hell are you?Do you think I give a shit? Noooo..


Amir you are right..I shall do whatever I want. Shall go partying and wasting and what so ever coz life is too precious to waste.Shall be pretty and shall be slim.Shall keep the chubby ass and shall have killer legs.


You see..All bastards in this world shall pay.


Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!